Chances
by EpicallyObsessed
Summary: A chain of events leads to James Diamond having one of the worst days of his life. It also leads him to come face to face with his first crush, who is also the person who broke his heart ten years ago. Can James forgive and learn to trust the person again, or has he already given him too many chances?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! A new story is here! :D**

**This story is actually one that I wrote _years _ago, but I never posted it. This story was also the inspiration for Back to You, so you may find a few similarites between the two stories. Anyway, I figured I'd post the first chapter and see what you all think before we go forward. :)**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

James Diamond was not having a good day.

A few months ago he might have said he was having a bad day-a _very _bad day-but the new positive thinking course he'd just paid three hundred bucks for forbade the use of the word bad.

What would his mentor say if he used the word shitty instead?

That had to be allowed, right?

He was having a shitty day. _Shitty…_

He turned the word over a few times in his mind.

Yeah, that might work.

It wasn't as if James had a sixth sense about these things, but from the moment he'd woken up, he'd had a feeling the day was going to suck.

It had turned out to be far worse than he could have imagined.

He could have coped with the boiler finally giving up on him if it hadn't happened in the middle of his shower when he was covered in soap.

He _might _have been okay about the coffee machine breaking, but, with having no coffee in his system when his crotchety neighbor Mr. Bitters cornered him on the way to his car and informed him that he was taking ownership of Snowy, James finally blew his top.

"The hell you are!" He fumed, glaring at Mr. Bitters' snooty-assed face. "You can't just _take _my cat!"

Mr. Bitters cocked an eyebrow. "Look, let's be honest here. We both know Snowy likes me better than you."

"You bought him with treats and catnip!"

Mr. Bitters sniffed. "I resent that accusation."

"I don't give a rat's ass what you resent! You can't have him. He's mine."

"When was the last time he spent the night at your house?"

James pursed his lips and cocked his head to the side while he tried to think about the answer.

It had been a while.

"He goes out at night." He said at last.

"No." His neighbor corrected. "He stays with me."

James gasped. "You...you...you catnapper!"

Mr. Bitters ignored the comment and looked over James' shoulder.

"Ah, here he is now. Why don't we ask him?"

James had already agreed to the suggestion before he realized what a stupid idea that was. But as Snowy strolled in their direction, James felt the insane desire to get one up on the insufferable old coot that was looking at his cat with a deep sense of satisfaction.

"Snowy!" James called. "Come here, boy!"

He hated the hint of desperation in his voice.

The white tom padded up the sidewalk and into Mr. Bitters' yard without as much as a sideways glance in James' direction.

James' jaw practically hit the ground.

"I think that settles it, don't you?" Mr. Bitters said, turning on his heel and following Snowy into his house, signaling the end of their conversation.

James stared after them open-mouthed.

He loved that damn cat.

_Traitor._

The day went from bad to worse after James arrived at work.

He was just about to get up from his desk and finally make his first cup of coffee of the morning when he heard the words he'd come to dread.

"James! Get your ass in here and help me clear up this goddamn mess!"

He massaged his temples with his thumb and forefinger, trying to alleviate some of the pressure that had been building all morning. He was going to get a migraine, he just knew it.

_No. Positive, James. Positive._

"James!"

"I'm coming, sir!"

With a weary sigh, James got up from his desk and took the four steps needed to walk the length of the office.

He crossed the small hallway and knocked on his boss' open door, hovering for a few seconds before entering.

Griffin tore his gaze away from the papers on his desk and glared at James.

"Well? What the hell are you waiting for? Get your ass in here."

_You need this job, you need this job, _James repeated over and over like a mantra as he took a seat in the folding lawn chair opposite the grouch.

Griffin leaned back in his seat, lips pursed.

"We're fucked." He said succinctly.

James didn't reply.

He'd learned the hard way not to interrupt his boss before he'd said what he had to say.

When the phone on Griffin's desk started ringing he reached for it and barked into the receiver, "Hello!"

James' shoulders slouched and he leaned back in his chair-not too far back because he'd learned the hard way about doing that, too. Twice the chair had folded and he'd landed flat on his ass. It wouldn't happen a third time.

"What the fuck? Marge, I'm at _work_! I don't give a damn what you make for dinner, got it?"

Griffin hung up then turned his cold gaze on James.

"Where were we?"

"Uh, fucked?" James offered.

"Right. And do you know _why _we're fucked?"

James was fairly certain the question had been rhetorical, but he answered it anyway.

"Would it have anything to do with the Hugo/Martinez account, sir?"

"You bet your ass it would. When those fuckers backed out on the contract, it left us bent over backwards and screwed up the Jacksie. You have any idea what we can do about it?"

"Sue?"

Griffin's face turned red. "No, we can't fucking sue. And why not? Because the fuckers didn't sign anything! Don't you know a verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on?"

James was tempted to point out the inaccuracy in that statement, but he valued his life too much.

"So what _can _we do, sir?"

Griffin grinned. The action only served to make him look even more unfriendly.

"We grab 'em by the gonads and squeeze, that's what we do. Get 'em where it hurts, you got that?"

"Sure, sir. Grab 'em and squeeze. Got it."

"Good, now get to work."

"Sir?"

Griffin looked up from his desk and scowled. "You still here?"

"Uh, just what do you want me to squeeze?"

"Are you mentally retarded?" Griffin asked.

James was sure he saw a blood vessel in Griffin's head pop.

_Just hold it together, James. Don't rise to it._

"I just told you what to do! You have to get 'em where it hurts. You telling me you don't know what would hurt Hugo and Martinez?"

James got a sinking feeling in his stomach. He didn't like the sound of that one bit.

"The Hillside account, sir?"

"You're damn straight."

That was another inaccuracy that James had no intention of correcting. He didn't want to be the cause of Griffin's sudden heart failure. He needed the job to cover his mortgage until he could find something with better pay and prospects, but the search was proving more difficult than he'd anticipated.

When he took the job, it was supposed to have been temporary-a stopgap. It was meant to have been somewhere he could learn all he could about the investment business then move on.

Two years later and he was still putting up with Griffin's shit.

He didn't know how much more he could take.

_Not much._

James nodded and went back to his office.

Griffin had been trying to procure the Hillside account for three months, but their negotiations had turned stale.

The simple fact was that Griffin wasn't offering enough money to purchase the account and, short of performing a miracle, there wasn't a lot James could do about it. He'd tried on several occasions to talk his boss into raising his offer, but Griffin had shot him down every time.

Griffin was too stingy for his own good.

James was sure that one day soon, they'd get news informing them that Hugo and Martinez had bought the Hillside account, and that day couldn't come fast enough. Sure, he'd be losing out on a commission, but he'd gone past caring at this point.

His heart just wasn't in the job anymore, not that it ever really had been.

About two hours later, James was knee-deep in manila folders and no closer to finding a solution when his cell phone rang.

He glared at the offending object, debating whether or not to answer the call when Griffin's face appeared at his door.

"You gonna get that or do you plan on staring at it all day?"

"Of course, sir." James ground out.

_Breathe. Just breathe._

"I hope it's not a personal call. You know how I feel about personal calls at work."

"I do, sir."

James reached across the desk and picked up his cell.

There was no number on the screen.

He waited a beat, but when Griffin didn't move from the door, he sighed in resignation then answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Can I speak to a Mr. James Diamond, please?"

"Speaking. May I ask who's calling?"

"Of course, my name is Dr. Mandy Carter. I'm sorry to trouble you if you're at work, Mr. Diamond, but I'm calling from the hospital. Your father was brought in this afternoon and he had you listed as his next of kin."

James sucked in a sharp breath.

He hadn't spoken to his father in two years, but the news still made his stomach lurch and his hands break out into a sweat.

"What happened to him?"

"He had a cardiac arrest."

James' heart started beating so damn fast he thought it was going to burst right out of his chest.

_A heart attack?_

"Is he going to be okay?"

The line was quiet for a moment and then the doctor spoke.

"I'm afraid not, sir. I'm so sorry to tell you that your father passed away about an hour ago."

James swallowed down the lump in his throat and managed to choke out a reply, "I see. Thank you for letting me know."

"Would it possible for you to come to the hospital to collect your father's personal belongings?"

James nodded then realized the doctor was still waiting for a reply.

"Of course. It's a few hours' drive, but I can be there by late afternoon or early evening if that's okay." It was actually over a five hour drive, but if he left right away, he'd be there long before nightfall.

"That would be fine, sir. Thank you."

"Can I see him?"

As soon as he voiced the question, James had second thoughts.

Did he really want to see his father like that?

But it was too late to take the question back-the words were already out of his mouth, and, like it or not, he knew it was something he had to do. He didn't think the news would settle in until he saw the man with his own eyes.

He also needed to say goodbye.

"Of course, and you have my sincerest apologies."

"Thank you."

It was only after he'd hung up that James realized Griffin was still hovering inside the door.

He'd completely forgotten his boss had been standing there. He ignored him while he grabbed his wallet from the drawer in his desk and his jacket from the back of his chair, mindlessly slipping his arms into it.

"I have to go home." He said at last, meeting his boss' inquisitive gaze. "My father has passed away."

"Oh. Uh...I'm sorry about that." Griffin said, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. He rubbed the back of his neck then seemed to make up his mind about something. "Will you be back in the morning? We've got to get things moving on the Hillside account. We've been dragging our heels on this deal for too long."

That was about all James could take for one day.

He glared at his boss, his anger quickly rising to the surface.

"_We_?" He said indignantly.

There was only one person in the room who had been dragging their heels and it wasn't James.

"There is no _we_. _We_ haven't procured the Hillside account because _you _are too goddamn tight and stingy to pay them what they want. It's a fair price that they're asking. And you know what? Fuck the Hillside account! I don't give a shit about it anymore. I just told you that my father has died. Where the hell is your compassion?"

Griffin's mouth fell open, making him look even more like a guppy than he usually did. He fished the dirty handkerchief out of his pocket and swiped it across his sweaty brow.

James regretted his outburst at first, but when Griffin met his gaze with something bordering on hatred in his eyes, he couldn't bring himself to regret a damn thing.

"How _dare _you speak to me like that!" Griffin shrieked. "You'd better mind your mouth if you want to keep your job, boy!"

James had a blinding moment of clarity when he looked at his boss and knew exactly what he had to do.

Calmly, he slipped his cell phone into his beat-up old briefcase and clicked it shut before striding out of the office, brushing past his soon-to-be-ex boss.

"Actually, I don't want to keep it." James said, feeling braver with each passing second. "You can stick your shitty job up your ass. I quit."

James pulled his shoulders back, held his head high, and kept on walking until he was out the door.

Quitting his job was something he should have done a long time ago. He felt a stabbing pang of guilt that it had taken something as devastating as the news of his father dying to open his eyes to his situation and the choices he had made in life.

He'd been a coward.

He didn't know what the future held, but, as he marched out to the parking lot to retrieve his car, he was sure he'd made the right decision, even if he had made it too late.

XxX

James thought about his father as the familiar neighborhoods flitted past the window during his drive home.

His father, David, had been a stubborn man.

He and James hadn't spoken since James had finally plucked up the courage to tell him he was gay and David had ordered him out of the house. That had been two years ago, give or take.

The saddest part was that James knew his father would have come around, given time. He usually did when he got a bee in his bonnet about something.

James being gay may have been an issue for David, but it hadn't been so big that his father would never have gotten over it. At least James didn't think so. David hadn't been a prejudiced man, not really.

James suspected that what had really bothered his father was feeling as though he had been the last person to find out. James should have told him sooner. He knew that now. But he'd been afraid of losing him-which was exactly what had happened. And now, he'd lost him forever.

After he parked the car outside his house, he killed the engine then sat there for a moment and tried to take stock. He made himself take a succession of deep breaths to calm his nerves before he went inside to pack a bag.

He had argued with his father countless times in the past.

Their personalities were similar and they had often come to blows. But this time James hadn't contacted his father to find out if he had calmed down and was ready to talk to him. He had inherited his father's stubborn streak and it seemed neither he nor his father had been prepared to make the first move.

Now, James would never get the chance to make things up with him.

The harshness of that fact made his chest feel tighter and tighter until he had to close his eyes and grit his teeth against the pain that this new reality caused him.

When he finally went inside, he grabbed his old suitcase out of the closet and filled it mindlessly, not even remotely aware of what he was packing.

Ten minutes later he looked down, surprised to see that the case was full.

Now that the adrenaline had worn off, James felt exhausted and wanted nothing more than a drink or two to take the edge off the pain in his chest that wouldn't seem to abate.

He wanted to get blind filthy drunk to be precise.

He wanted to forget, to numb his feelings or to make it so that he didn't feel anything at all. He seriously considered the idea and might have given in to the temptation if he hadn't promised the doctor he'd go to the hospital later that afternoon. The long drive ahead of him meant he couldn't take the risk of having even one drink to calm him down.

However, there would be nothing to stop him after he'd been to the hospital, would there? As soon as the thought occurred to him, he ran downstairs to grab the bottle of whiskey he'd had sitting around since last Christmas then stuffed it into his case between a multitude of shirts and too many socks.

Finally, James zipped up the case, set it down in the middle of the bedroom floor and stared at it. He'd never felt so lost or so completely out of his element before.

David had been James' last living relative and the bleak veracity of being all alone in the world threatened to overwhelm him.

He just wished he knew why this had happened.

Why now?

Why at all?

James had argued many times with his father over the years, and David had always had to have the last damn word.

Well, he'd got it this time, hadn't he?

James checked his watch and realized nearly two hours had passed since he'd left work.

Where the hell had the time gone? He needed to get on the road if he wanted to make it to Missouri before dark.

The cell phone buzzing in his pocket snapped James back to reality.

He reached for the phone and stared at the number.

_Beau_.

How could he have forgotten to call Beau?

James thought his boyfriend should have been the first thing on his mind when he'd got the news about his father, but he was just about to drive out of state and he hadn't even paid him a single thought. He had to wonder what that said about the nature of their relationship.

Okay, so James couldn't really call Beau his boyfriend.

They were fucking. Had been for the past five months.

James had hoped it would lead to something more, that the more time they spent together, the more Beau would come around to the idea of them becoming a permanent couple.

Beau was the closest James had _ever _come to having a real boyfriend, so he used the term whenever he could. Even if he couldn't say it in public because Beau wasn't out yet, he could say it in his own home when there was no one around to hear him.

He picked up the call.

"Beau?"

"I'm really sorry, James." Beau began.

James scrunched his eyebrows together and stared at his cell in confusion.

How the hell had Beau found out what had happened?

"Huh?"

"I know I was supposed to be there an hour ago, but I got held up."

"Oh." It took James a moment before he remembered their plans for dinner. Well, the plan had been for him to cook dinner. They never went out to eat because Beau didn't like them to be seen in public together. "That's okay. Look, I've-"

"Actually, that's a lie." Beau interrupted. "I didn't get held up...I mean, I did, but, to tell you the truth, I wasn't planning on coming to dinner tonight."

"You weren't?"

"No." James heard the sharp intake of breath and waited for the rest of the words. "I had to meet with my fiance's parents."

"Oh, that's nice." James replied, scrubbing a hand over his tired eyes. Then Beau's words sank in..._really _sank in. "Wait a minute, what did you just say?"

Beau let out a long sigh. "I said I had to meet with my fiance's parents."

James shook his head to clear it. "But, what does that mean? I...I don't understand."

"I'm engaged, James."

"Yeah, I got that part. To whom and how?"

"Her name is Lindsay Rose. Our parents play golf together."

"Golf…" James repeated dumbly. Even as he let Beau's words permeate, James still couldn't allow himself to believe them.

"I realize it might seem kind of sudden, but we've been seeing each other a couple of months."

James' stomach lurched at the admission.

"Oh."

"Well, yeah, I mean...you didn't think we were exclusive or anything, did you?"

"No." James whispered. "Of course I didn't."

"Oh, well, that's good. I think we'll be a good match. Her father is head of the Smithsdale Corporation."

Now it all made sense.

Beau worked for the Smithsdale Corporation as a junior analyst. He'd been trying to get ahead in the company for years. Marrying the boss's daughter was bound to enhance his chances.

That might have been cynical, but James felt entitled.

"That's great." He deadpanned.

"James? You _are _okay with this, aren't you?"

James had the insane urge to laugh, even though nothing about the situation was even remotely funny. _Was _he okay with this? Did he have any fucking choice?

"Yeah, Beau, I'm just great." He managed to reply. "I've gotta go. See you around, or...not."

James hung up and tossed the phone on the bed.

It was too much.

It was all too much.

His dad, Beau, his damn cat. How much more could a person be expected to take in one day?

James walked calmly into his bathroom, closed the door, then promptly threw up in the toilet.

While he sat there hugging the porcelain, he wondered what his positive thinking mentor would say about his 'not good' day now.

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**Done! So, yeah...James definitely isn't having a great day.**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! Let me know if you all want to see more. If so, the next chapter will be up soon. :)**

**Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello everyone! This is another long overdue chapter, but it's finally here! **

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read the first chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Kendall looked at the picture on the menu with raised eyebrows.

"You want the triple chocolate fudge sundae with marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles? That's a whole lot of chocolate for such a small girl. You sure you can fit it all in?"

Hope nodded enthusiastically, but it was the nod of approval from her mother that Kendall made sure to get before taking the order for the calorie-laden treat. His sister would give him holy hell if he got Hope something like that without clearing it her first.

"Two spoons, please." Katie said, much to her daughter's obvious chagrin.

Kendall chuckled. "Yes, ma'am. Coming right up."

He went back behind the counter, gave the order to his chef, Carlos, and made the drinks while he waited.

It had been a long, busy day.

Kendall felt like he'd worked all week and it was only Monday-not even four o'clock. He had a feeling it was going to be one of those weeks. The mall across the street stayed open late on Mondays and people always piled in afterward for coffee or soda while they rested their shopped-out feet.

Camille, Kendall's assistant manager, would be arriving later to help out, but until then he was on his own out front. Not that he minded working alone, especially when it was quiet. The quiet periods gave him time to think. He often passed time on his quiet days in a seat near the window, watching the world go by.

It made him happy to people-watch...Well, as happy as he could be in a town where he could never truly be himself. He shouldn't feel sorry for himself. Those small moments of happiness were all anyone got, weren't they? No one Kendall knew was happy all the time. He pushed the thought out of his mind and concentrated on the drinks.

He had no reason to be ungrateful for what he had. Kendall had a good life in Providence. It might not be the life he'd always thought would be his, but it was a good life just the same. The diner had been doing amazing since he'd bought it five years ago and he was happy working there. His family had thought he was crazy to buy a building that needed so much work, but Kendall had seen the potential and he hadn't been wrong.

Kendall had used all the inheritance money he'd received when his father had died and had borrowed more from the bank, but it had been worth every penny. In five years, he'd already managed to pay back the loan and had started to recoup his own money. In another year or so, he'd be able to get some savings behind him.

Then, of course, Kendall had his family. His mom had been slowly closing in on retirement age, but she refused to slow down, even for a second. She still worked as a receptionist in the small hospital on the outskirts of town. She often called or stopped in on her way home from work for a coffee and a chat. Kendall would sit and listen to the gossip that she'd picked up from the hospital, unable to believe what some of the nurses and doctors got up to.

Kendall's father had been the town's one and only medical examiner, right up until the final stroke that had taken his life over five years ago. Kendall still missed his dad. He'd been a vibrant man with a real zest for life. He'd always had a smile on his face and a spring in his step. Kendall's mom always said how alike he and his dad were, hut Kendall wasn't so sure.

He hadn't felt that full of vitality in a long time.

Kendall had two pain-in-the-ass sisters that had blessed him with the cutest niece and nephew. It had been several months since he'd seen his youngest sister, but she lived a few hours' away and they didn't get together as often as Kendall would have liked.

Kayla had a four-year-old boy named Justin who was the spitting image of his mother, and she was currently six months pregnant with her second child. Kendall would have liked to spend as much time with his nephew as he did with his niece, Hope, but there wasn't a lot they could do about it.

Kendall was grateful for his niece and nephew, especially as he wasn't likely to ever have children of his own.

It wasn't that he didn't like children or didn't want any, but being gay and living in a small town around small-minded people wasn't conducive to having any. The only other gay men he knew in town were in the closet, just like him. And he only knew about those because he'd seen them in a gay bar he'd visited in St Louis. It was a couple of hours from Providence, but was the closest gay-friendly place Kendall knew of near their small town.

Being gay in a small town like Providence could be a lonely existence, but Kendall didn't know what to do to change it, or if he even wanted to. He didn't want to move, but he was starting to believe there was no alternative if he didn't want to be alone for the rest of his life.

But he couldn't think about that. It would only make him feel depressed and he had a lot of things in his life to be thankful for.

_Time to stop feeling sorry for yourself, Kendall._

_Suck it up._

Carlos caught his attention and pushed the dessert through the hatch in the wall.

"Here you go, beautiful." Kendall said as he placed the large dessert in front of his niece. "One triple chocolate fudge sundae with marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles."

He leaned in conspiratorially near Hope's ear, and whispered, keeping his voice quiet, but loud enough for his sister to overhear, "I made sure there are extra sprinkles."

Kendall found himself on the winning end of a wide, toothless grin. "Thank you, Uncle Kendall!"

Kendall grinned and ruffled the kid's hair. She was the cutest damn five-year-old he'd ever seen, but then again, he was biased.

"Don't forget to share it with your mom, okay?"

Hope nodded enthusiastically and dug in. "Okay!"

Kendall didn't think his sister would be getting much dessert.

Katie rolled her eyes when Hope missed her mouth and spilled chocolate down her top, but her lips were curved up into a smirk.

"So, what's up, sis?" Kendall asked as he took a seat next to his sister and nudged her shoulder. "I haven't seen you in over a week. You been busy?"

Katie nodded. "This damn dissertation is kicking my ass."

Hope gasped. "You swore, mommy!"

Kendall bit back a grin.

They had to be careful what they said with little ears around now. They hadn't had to worry when Hope was a baby, but she was five now and took in everything she heard.

"I know." Katie nodded. "I'm a very bad mommy. You shouldn't listen to a word I say, okay?"

Hope gave a wide-eyed nod and took another bite of chocolate fudge. When Kendall met his sister's gaze, she was grinning mischievously and he couldn't help but match her expression.

"I've got a d-a-t-e on Saturday night." Katie said, remembering to spell out the word so Hope wouldn't understand.

"Yeah, with who?" Kendall asked.

"Dak Zevon."

Kendall cocked his head to the side and pursed his lips. "Is that the kid that used to follow you home from school when you were in eighth grade?"

"Yep, that's Dak. He's a dentist now, got his own practice."

"You looking to get some work done?"

"Ha ha."

"I thought you didn't like him."

Katie rolled her eyes. "We were _thirteen_. I didn't like _any _boys back then...Well, except Jason Priestly. I would have made an exception for him."

Kendall chuckled. "You and me both."

"Speaking of, what's going on with _your _love life, brother dearest?"

Kendall immediately snagged his sister's spoon and took a large bit of Hope's sundae.

"Mmm...that should be illegal." He said, moaning loudly.

Hope giggled.

"Answer the question, Kendall."

"What? You honestly expect me to have a love life here? Get a grip."

"We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "No, we're in butt crack Missouri. Not a whole hell of a lot of difference from where I'm standing." Kendall winced at his language and looked at Hope, but she was digging out marshmallows from the bottom of her sundae glass and didn't appear to have heard.

"You always were a glass half empty kind of guy."

"And you always were a pain in the…" Kendall caught himself just in time.

Hope was looking at them again, her head swiveling back and forth between them both, hanging on to every word.

"Neck." Kendall settled on.

Katie snorted before taking back her spoon and scooping out some chocolate. "You know, if you'd just tell mom already, she'd have you set up with someone before the week is out."

"Stay out of it, Katie." Kendall warned.

"Look, I'm just saying, if you told her, she-"

"It's none of your business. Please drop it."

Katie threw her napkin on the table. "I don't get you sometimes. Why the hell won't you tell her? Mom loves you, the same way she loves all of us. Do you honestly believe she'd think any less of you? In fact, I'm sure she already knows. She-"

Kendall glared at his sister. "Have you said anything?"

"No, but she's not stupid. She's a smart woman and you're a twenty-eight-year-old man that's...what? _Never _had a girlfriend? The woman gave birth to you. She knows you better than anyone. Trust me-she knows you're gay!"

Katie's last sentence had been loud. Kendall looked over his shoulder to the old couple sat in the corner, but they were immersed in their own conversation and didn't look as though they'd heard.

"Christ, can you keep it down?" Kendall fumed.

"What's gay?" Hope asked Kendall.

"Perfect, just perfect. You want to explain that, genius?" Kendall scowled at his sister.

Katie didn't miss a beat.

"It means Uncle Kendall is happy, pumpkin." She said, scooping a spoonful of ice cream out of the glass. "Especially when he plays with men."

Well...that was one way to explain it. Still, she wasn't wrong.

"Doesn't he like to play with girls?" Hope asked.

"No, darling. He thinks girls are silly."

Hope giggled then went back to her chocolate.

"So, is Mom stopping by tonight?"

"Jesus, Katie, you don't give up, do you?"

"Hey," Katie lifted both hands out in front of her, "I wasn't even talking about that. I need to ask her to babysit Friday night."

Kendall relaxed his shoulders and nodded. "As far as I know, yeah. She still calls in most nights before she goes home."

"I think she's lonely. And she's working herself into the ground at that damn hospital."

"I think it's _because _she's lonely that she does work so hard. The more hours she works, the less time she has to spend in an empty house."

Katie nodded. "Sure, I can understand that, but it's not doing her any good. She needs to get out and meet people, but she's not interested. I keep giving her brochures for local events and clubs she could join, but she won't even give them a go."

"It's got to be hard for her to go on her own." Kendall reasoned. "Maybe if you went with her the first couple of times, until she met people at least, she might feel better about going."

"Who's going to watch Hope?" Katie frowned. "I guess I can find someone to look after her, but…"

"What am I, chopped liver?"

"You'd look after Hope?" Katie stared at him open-mouthed. "For the entire night?"

"Uh, let me just check my hectic schedule. Yeah, for the whole night, idiot."

Katie was already shaking her head. "I don't know. She can be a handful. You'll probably end up regretting it."

Kendall grinned. "You kidding me? We'll have fun, won't we, Hope?"

Hope's eyes lit up. "Can we have a tea party with cake?"

"Of course, I'll bring the cake and you can make the tea." Kendall bargained.

Katie chuckled. "Now this I've got to see."

Just over an hour after Katie and Hope left the diner, Kendall's mother Jennifer came in and took her usual seat in a booth near the back of the diner. Kendall was busy serving a couple of young women who worked at the mall.

They tossed their hair and batted their eyelashes at him every time they came in, but Kendall didn't mind. He played along for the most part, as he did with all the women that came in to eat and just hoped they never asked him out. It would only make both parties uncomfortable when he turned them down.

"So how was work today, ladies?" He asked, placing two slices of peach and pecan pie down on the table.

Jane, the bottle blonde who was the more outspoken of the two, smiled suggestively. "It was busy. Brittany and I were thinking about going out for a drink tonight, weren't we, Brit?"

Brittany nodded her agreement and Jane plowed on, "We're in need of a little..._stress _relief."

That was Kendall's cue.

"Well, I'm sure you'll have fun. Enjoy your pie. Excuse me."

With a small smile and a quick nod, he made a hasty retreat, but he noticed the frown to Jane's lips before she schooled her features.

He made his mom a cappuccino and joined her in the booth.

"Who are they?" His mom asked, nodding at the women.

Kendall instinctually turned his head and caught Jane staring at him. He looked away quickly.

"Just a couple of shop assistants from the mall. They're in here a few times a week."

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't encourage them if I were you or you'll never see the end of them. Unless you _meant_ to encourage them?"

His mom's face was filled with something that looked like hope, which pretty much put to rest Katie's claim that his mom already knew about his sexuality.

Either she didn't know or she was a damn good actress.

"I wasn't encouraging them." He replied. "I was being friendly. It's my job. Anyway, how was your day, Mom?"

Jennifer rolled her eyes. "Manic as usual. I didn't sit down all day."

Kendall stirred his coffee then pointed the spoon at his mother and narrowed his eyes. "You work too hard. It's time you slowed down."

"Pfft! I'm not on my deathbed yet, you know. Plenty of go left in this old dog."

"You've worked your whole life. Why don't you think about retiring soon? Or at least slowing down a bit. Wouldn't you prefer to spend your time doing something else? Join some groups, have some fun?"

"But work _is _fun. Well...sometimes."

Kendall was about to explain the difference between work and fun, but he thought better of it. That was an argument he never won. And he really didn't want to put his mom in a bad mood. His sister would be calling later to ask Mom to babysit and he'd never hear the end of it if she was short-tempered because of him. Besides, what the hell did he know? Work was all he did too, wasn't it? He couldn't remember the last time he had gone out and had some fun.

"So what's the gossip from the hospital today?"

He made the decision to move the conversation onto safer ground, and it worked.

Jennifer's face lit up.

She really did love that damn hospital-there was no question about it.

"You remember I told you about Nurse Maxine and Dr. Butler?"

Kendall pursed his lips and scrunched his eyebrows together, trying to remember the names and what his mother had said about them.

"Are those the two that have been having an affair?"

Jennifer made a tutting noise. "No. That's Kristy and Dr. Jenkins. Nurse Maxine and Dr. Butler are the two whose husbands have been having an affair, with each other."

Kendall nearly choked on his coffee. "You never told me that!"

"Didn't I? I could have sworn I did." His mom looked thoughtful.

Kendall was absolutely certain she hadn't told him. _That _was something he would most definitely have remembered. He could count the number of gay people he knew in Providence on one hand, and whenever the residents in town got wind of a story like that it was all they talked about for months.

Even when they stopped talking about it, they never forgot it.

Kendall didn't like to get involved in the gossip around town, but he'd heard about a teacher from the high school who had lost his job when the board found out he was gay. Of course, they hadn't come right out and fired him for that reason, because he could have sued, but it had been too much of a coincidence to have been for anything else. Mr. Keller had taught art at the school for over fifteen years-he'd taught Kendall, in fact-then three weeks after his neighbor saw him kiss his partner goodbye, it was goodbye job.

Apparently the cutback had been 'planned all along'.

It was supposed to have been a coincidence.

Kendall called bullshit.

Unfortunately, that was the way things worked in Providence. People would stab you in the back as soon as look at you. The prejudice wasn't always out in the open, but just because it couldn't always be seen didn't mean it wasn't there.

Kendall had heard that Mr. Keller hadn't been able to find a job since losing his position at the school and was considering moving out of state, even though he'd grown up in Providence and didn't want to leave.

"No, you definitely _didn't _tell me that." Kendall told his mother.

Jennifer shrugged. "There's not much more to tell. It's been going on for months apparently, but their wives only found out about it a couple of weeks ago. Dr. Butler came in and told everyone at the hospital what her husband had been up to."

"Where does her husband work?"

"He's a paramedic."

"Wow, so he's at the hospital, too?"

Jennifer nodded. "They both are. Maxine's husband is a radiologist."

"Jesus, that must have been pretty uncomfortable for everyone involved."

"It was. Today the situation reached the boiling point when all four of them argued in the corridor in front of the staff. There were patients and relatives around, too."

Kendall leaned forward in his seat. "So what happened?"

"A lot of shouting and screaming mainly. John-the radiologist-told his wife he's leaving her, but Dr. Butler's husband Derrick said he wouldn't even consider leaving his wife and she's sticking by him."

"If you ask me, _she _should leave _him_. Why would any woman want to be married to a gay man? She probably thinks she can change him, or that he isn't really gay, that he was just experimenting."

"Tempted to the dark side." Jennifer snorted. "Idiot."

Kendall felt his cheeks fill with heat.

He wanted to change the subject stat. He felt embarrassed talking about issues like that with his mom and it was too damn close to home for his liking.

Why he couldn't tell his mother about his own sexuality, he wasn't sure.

Deep down he'd always hoped that Katie was right-that his mom already knew about his sexuality-but that wasn't why he hadn't said anything. The main reason was that he had a good relationship with his mom and he didn't want that to change-not that he knew for sure it would, but he didn't want to take that chance.

It didn't matter anyway.

It wasn't as if Kendall was seeing anyone of importance.

If that changed, then he might reconsider telling her. Maybe...

"So, did anything else happen at work today?"

Just as he asked the question, the bell above the diner door chimed. Kendall looked over his shoulder to see who had entered and groaned.

Mrs. McCormick was staring at Kendall's mother, her face twisted into its usual scowl. She caught Kendall's eye and turned the glare on him before whispering conspiratorially in her twin sister's ear.

Mrs. Peters was not nearly as caustic as her sister, who had a tongue as sharp as a Samurai sword. Quite the opposite in fact-Mrs. Peters was a pleasure to be around and the one person that had the ability to silence Mrs. McCormick with just a glance. But that particular ability didn't look as though it was working today. Mrs. McCormick definitely had a bee in her bonnet about something.

Kendall groaned inwardly.

What the hell did the old battle-ax want with him today?

The sisters rarely came in to eat, rather just to moan and complain about one thing or another. Last week Kendall's new sidewalk sign had been an eyesore and an accident waiting to happen. The week before it had been the poor condition of the sidewalk-like that was _his _damn fault. But it didn't seem to matter if Kendall was at fault or not-as far as Betty McCormick was concerned, Kendall was always to blame.

"Yes, actually." Kendall's mom continued. "I guess you could say that something else happened."

She completely ignored the bell, Mrs. McCormick and her sister.

From what Kendall had been able to understand, his mom and the sisters had never gotten along. Kendall didn't know why, but he'd bet that there was a story in there somewhere.

"Yeah, what's that?" He asked, distracted.

"I saw someone today I haven't seen in quite a while...years, in fact. You'd remember him too, no doubt. You two used to spend a lot of time together when you were younger."

Kendall held his finger up to Mrs. McCormock indicating he'd be along in a minute then turned his attention back to his mother.

"Yeah, who's that?"

"David Diamond's son, James." Jennifer said.

She spared a moment to shoot a glare at the sisters, which under different circumstances might have made Kendall smile. But he couldn't force out a smile after his mother's revelation. He could barely breathe.

His stomach lurched violently at the mention of the name that had haunted his dreams since high school. He'd thought about James too many times to count over the last ten years, had never stopped thinking about him, in fact.

James had been the biggest mistake Kendall had ever made...or never made, as the case might be. For as long as he lived, he would regret the things he'd said and done to James during the last week of high school. Kendall had always wondered if he'd get the chance to tell James how sorry he was.

If there was a way to take it all back, to make things right between them again, he'd do it in a heartbeat. But he suspected that it was too late to make amends. Too much time had passed and he doubted James would ever forgive him for what he'd done.

"Yeah." When Kendall finally found his voice, it was shaky and sounded distant as if it were coming from someone else. "Of course I remember James. He was my best friend in high school."

His mother nodded. "I remember."

"What was he doing at the hospital?"

"His father just passed away."

Kendall sighed heavily and the knot in his stomach tightened. "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Did you talk to him?"

"For a few minutes, yes. He was collecting his father's belongings."

Kendall's mouth was suddenly as dry as a damn desert. "What did he say?"

"Not much." Jennifer shrugged. "He seemed a bit shell-shocked, which is understandable, of course. We mostly just passed the time for a bit and I offered my condolences. I told him to let me know if he needs anything. Planning a funeral is not one of the easiest things to do and I don't think he has any help. I don't think there's anyone left in his family."

"Did he say if he's going to be sticking around town for a while?"

"No, but it will be at least a week until he gets a date for the funeral, I'd imagine. Maybe more."

"Do you know where he's staying?"

Kendall couldn't look his mom in the eye. He didn't want her to see how important the answers to his questions were, because that would lead to questions of her own and Kendall couldn't answer them.

"I'd like to pay my condolences." He added.

Jennifer shook her head. "No, but I don't see why he'd stay at a hotel when his old house is empty. I'd imagine he'd stay there. Didn't they live out near the river?"

Kendall's heart started beating faster just at the mention of the place where they'd spent most of their time during their high school years. It was the last place that he'd ever spoken to James. It held a lot of good memories for Kendall, but also some of the worst.

"Yeah, yeah, they did."

"I'm sure he'd appreciate you stopping by to pay your respects."

James was more likely to punch Kendall on sight than appreciate him stopping by his house, and rightly so. But Kendall couldn't let the opportunity pass without going to see James and telling him how sorry he was, both about his father passing and for what he'd done to James when they were eighteen.

Kendall's mother didn't know what had happened between them, of course.

Katie was the only person that Kendall had confided in. As far as his mom and everyone else knew, Kendall and James had simply not stayed in touch when they'd gone to their respective colleges.

If only that were the case.

"You'd better see what Betty wants." Jennifer nodded towards Mrs. McCormick at the counter. "If looks could kill, you'd be dead already. And that long-suffering sister of hers looks about ready to drop."

Sure enough, when Kendall looked over his shoulder he discovered his mom hadn't been exaggerating. May didn't look well at all. Kendall rushed over and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Mrs. Peters, come and sit down." Kendall started to lead the woman to a booth seat at the back of the diner, but Mrs. McCormick batted his hand away and grabbed hold of her sister's arm.

"I'm perfectly capable of looking after my own sister, young man."

Kendall would have rolled his eyes if he thought he could get away with it, but Betty McCormick didn't miss a thing and Kendall wasn't that brave.

"Of course." He replied. "May, let me get you a glass of water."

"Thank you." Betty replied curtly.

"Thank you." May echoed. Her voice was quieter than usual and contained none of her usual cheer.

"Do you want to see a doctor?" Kendall asked. "I could call an ambulance."

Mrs. McCormick scowled at Kendall.

"She doesn't need a doctor." She said, shooing Kendall away. "She just needs to sit down for a few minutes."

Much to Betty's obvious chagrin, Kendall ignored her and addressed her sister, "Mrs. Peters?"

May shook her head and offered Kendall a small smile.

"No, thank you, dear, I just need to rest my bones and I'll be right as rain in no time. I won't say no to that glass of water, though. With ice, if you have some."

"Coming right up." Kendall nodded and left to prepare the drink. Betty was fussing over her sister when Kendall slipped into the kitchen to get ice. He put a few ice cubes in the glass and was making his way back into the diner when Carlos caught his attention.

"Everything all right, boss?" Carlos was slicing lemons with a precision that never failed to amaze Kendall. The chef had been with him since he'd opened the diner and was an incredible cook. He wasn't ashamed to admit he'd be lost without him.

"Mrs. McCormick." Kendall said by way of explanation.

Carlos chuckled. "Say no more. I'll check on you in five minutes and, if it looks like you're in trouble, I'll invent some disaster in the kitchen."

Kendall raised his hand in a salute. "Much appreciated."

He carried the water back through into the diner them handed the glass to Mrs. Peters.

"Here you go, drink this."

May took hold of the glass and took a small sip.

"Ah, that's lovely." She said around a sigh before placing the glass down on the table. "Thank you."

"It's no problem." Kendall replied. "Are you sure you wouldn't like me to call someone?"

May shook her head. "No, I'm okay now. I think I just overexerted myself, that's all. I need to remember that I can't do the things I used to do."

Mrs. McCormick snorted. "You do twice as much now as you did when you were younger and there's still a lot of years left in you yet."

May grinned and the impish expression took years off her face.

"You have to say that, being my twin." She replied. "But we both know we're not as young as we once were."

"So what can I do for you today, ladies?" Kendall asked. "Can I get you something to eat?"

The concern that had been present on Mrs. McCormick's face a moment before disappeared to be replaced by her usual scowl.

"We didn't come here for food." She answered shortly. "We're here on serious business."

Kendall suppressed a smile. He'd just bet they were.

"Oh? What is it I can do for you, Mrs. McCormick?"

"I have a complaint. Last night was the neighborhood watch municipal court meeting and you were absent for the second month running. What do you have to say for yourself?"

_Crap_, was what he wanted to say.

Betty's cold, hard stare made Kendall feel like he was on trial.

He gave an involuntary shiver.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make the meeting last night, but one of my staff called in sick and I had to stay on. By the time I found cover, the meeting was nearly over and it wasn't worth attending, but I knew you ladies would fill me in on the details."

Kendall offered his most apologetic smile and hoped like hell Betty fell for it. The truth was he'd completely forgotten about the meeting, but there was no way in hell he'd admit that to Betty McCormick. She'd rip him a new one. He just hoped lying to a little old lady wasn't the type of offense that would see him sent straight to hell without passing go.

Betty narrowed her eyes, but she didn't ask Kendall which of his staff had been ill. _Thank you_-he hadn't thought that far in advance when he'd made up the lie on the spot.

"The meeting was...enlightening." Betty said.

Kendall doubted that very much. "If you'd just let me get a coffee, I'll join you ladies in a minute. Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No, thank you." Betty replied curtly.

"May?" Kendall enquired. "Would you like anything else?"

May already looked better than she had earlier and the faint blush that appeared on her cheeks made her seem even more so.

"I wouldn't mind a slice of that wonderful peach pie." She said quietly.

Kendall's grin got bigger when he saw Betty scowl at her sister.

"Absolutely." He replied. "And, for you, I'll make it an extra big slice."

* * *

**Done! So, we got to meet Kendall this chapter, and it seems that there is history between him and James. I wonder where that'll lead. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope that you all enjoyed and that you all are having a great weekend! Next chapter we'll check back in with James. I'm aiming for that to be up sometime this weekend, so there shouldn't be too long of a wait for that.**

**Until then!**

**-Epically Obessed**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Welcome to the third chapter of Chances!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamodns for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

James' gaze alternated between the key in his hand and the familiar house he hadn't seen in over two years.

He doubted his father would have bothered to change the locks after he had left, but that wasn't the reason he was still sitting in his car, staring at the house in which he'd grown up.

He was being a chicken shit, pure and simple.

He was afraid to go in the house, afraid of what it would do to his carefully constructed composure. He'd been holding it together pretty well since he'd found out about his father's death earlier that day. He'd been on autopilot at the hospital, signing the forms and collecting his father's belongings. It had been easier than he'd expected.

But, of course, the real test had come when he'd had to go in and see his father.

That had almost broken through his defenses.

Almost, but not quite.

Over the years he'd become adept at schooling his emotions and burying them deep down inside where they couldn't hurt him.

His dad had looked peaceful lying in bed, younger than when James had last seen him. He'd wondered absently if his father had looked that way in the years since he'd been gone or if it was something that came only with death.

James' father hadn't been the same man since he'd lost his wife. Brooke had died several years before her husband, when James had been a teenager. He had to wonder if that smile on his dad's face was because they were at last together again.

James certainly hoped such a thing were possible.

Looking at his father's peaceful face, he could have been fooled into thinking he was simply sleeping, but when he had touched his hand and trailed his fingers over his father's knuckles there had been no denying he was touching the skin of a person whose soul no longer inhabited their body. His hand had been cold-unusually so. It felt wrong, unnatural. He was colder to the touch than marble.

James had wanted to shout at his father, to ask him what the hell he was playing at. He wanted to know why he had to die and leave him all alone in the world.

Why?

He just wanted to know why. But as he'd stood at his father's bedside, looking down at the man who'd had a hand in shaping the person James had become, he knew it was pointless to wish for such things. His father would never be able to tell him anything again.

It didn't matter how much James wished otherwise.

He took a last look at the key in his hand then took off his seatbelt. He couldn't sit in the damn car all night. He'd been in such a rush to get to the hospital, he hadn't even considered coming home first to drop off his belongings. He didn't want to go in now, but he knew he couldn't keep putting it off.

When he'd got out of the car, he retrieved his suitcase from the trunk. It was only when he had the case in his hand that he remembered the whiskey he'd thrown in almost as an afterthought. It was just what he needed to settle his nerves.

He walked the familiar path up to the front door, slid the key into the lock and turned it. The door opened with a welcoming creak.

James didn't bother looking around the house.

He went straight upstairs to his old room, pushed open the door and switched on the light. His bedroom looked exactly as it had when he'd left it two years ago. Actually, it hadn't changed much at all since he was a teenager. James wasn't sure why, but the fact that his dad hadn't touched the room since he'd left home made him sad. It was as if his dad had been waiting for him to come back. He tried to put the thought out of his mind and instead, to think of something happy and uplifting, but nothing came to him.

In all honesty, he didn't think he had a happy thought left in his head.

He swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat and emptied the contents of his case on the bed. He hung most of his clothes in the small closet and stuff everything else in the chest of drawers near the window. He left the whiskey on the nightstand-ready and waiting for him to drink himself into oblivion. The next morning, he could get up, ignore the hangover and start making arrangements for the funeral. It wasn't something he was looking forward to, but it needed to be done.

When he'd finished putting everything away, he took a moment to look around his old room.

It smelled musty, as though it hadn't seen any fresh air in a long time, so James crossed the room, pulled back the drapes and opened the window.

It was a midsummer evening and there wasn't a lot of crisp, fresh air to be had, but the slight breeze that found its way into the room did help to alleviate some of the stuffiness and took away the stagnant smell that filled the air.

Afterwards, James went downstairs to take a look around the living room. As with his bedroom, nothing in the room had been altered. His dad hadn't so much as put a fresh coat of paint on the walls or replaced the throws on the old sofa. On the wall above the fireplace sat a picture of James during his last year in high school.

He didn't think about that year very often.

Mostly the year had gone by without a hitch. But the last week before graduation had sullied the entire school year for James. It had become all he could remember about high school, about his friends, and about his life in Providence. He'd tried _so _hard to forget the day that had changed everything, but it was always there in the back of his mind, taunting him, never allowing him to be truly happy.

And the rest of his childhood _had _been happy.

He'd had parents who loved him, he'd been popular in high school. He'd had a good life. But it had been a long time since he'd felt content-at peace with himself and with the world at large. His house had always been filled with love and laughter. He hadn't realized how much he missed those times until he saw the smile in his fourteen-year-old eyes. It had been a long time since a smile had made it all the way to his eyes like that.

When his emotions threatened to overwhelm him, James tore his gaze away from the picture and headed to the kitchen. It, like every other room in the house, was exactly as it had been when he'd left. Nothing had been touched. James crossed to the cabinet above the sink and retrieved two tumblers. One he filled with water and the other he left empty for the whiskey.

After he'd made sure all the doors and windows were secure, he carried the glasses to his bedroom then poured out a generous amount of whiskey before adding a little of the water. He took a sip and grimaced. He'd never liked the taste of whiskey particularly, but you didn't have to like it to drink it, did you?

James took another look around.

There was still one room in the house he hadn't had the guts to enter-his dad's bedroom. He couldn't think why that room would be any different to the others in the house. He supposed that room seemed more personal. It wasn't a shared space-just his father's.

It would smell like him, feel like him. It would remind James of the mistakes he'd made, of the argument he'd had with his father, and he didn't want to think about that just yet. He couldn't.

He threw back the rest of the amber liquid in the glass then poured another, downing it quicker than the first

_Don't be such a coward. It's only a room. You've been in it countless times in the past. This time won't be any different._

Only it _would _be different.

Everything was different now.

After another couple of drinks to psych himself up, James put down the glass and crossed the hall until he stood outside his father's bedroom. He took a deep breath.

Slowly, he pushed open the door.

His dad's room was the same as he remembered and, just as James had suspected, it smelled his dad, too.

A mixture of laundry detergent and that God-awful cheap cologne he insisted on wearing, even though James had bought him more expensive brands over the years in hope he'd throw the old stuff away.

James crossed the space and sat down on his father's bed. He'd expected the bed to be unmade, but it wasn't. The sheets were clean and it was neat and tidy. He'd never known his dad to make his bed when he left it. A cold shiver ran the length of his spine. Had his dad somehow known what was going to happen to him when he'd got up that morning? Had he suspected his time was at an end, even subconsciously?

James picked up a pillow and held it to his nose.

It smelled mostly of detergent, but his dad's scent still clung to the material. James tried to swallow down the lump that had formed in the back of his throat, but felt the sting of tears behind his eyes.

"Stubborn old bastard. What the hell did you have to go and die for, huh?"

James fell back onto the bed and hugged the pillow to his chest, letting the tears fall freely from his eyes. He cried and cried and just when he thought he had no tears left, he cried some more. Soon the tears morphed into hiccups then dry heaving sobs that wouldn't abate.

When the tears finally dried up, James supposed he should go back to his own bedroom, but he didn't have the energy or inclination to move. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and, though his mind was in overdrive, filled with unwelcome thoughts and images, he eventually fell asleep.

The sun was beaming in through the gap in the drapes and warming the left side of his face when James woke up. His mouth tasted like crap and he had the headache from hell. He cracked open his eyes and turned to gaze around the room. He was startled at first to realize he wasn't lying in his own bed, but still in his father's room.

When the events of the previous night came back to him, James sighed heavily and got off the bed. He hadn't even changed his clothes before he'd crashed out the night before and he was in desperate need of a shower.

The water must have been on a timer because it was deliciously hot when James stepped under the spray. It soothed some of the tension out of his muscles and went some way to making him feel human again. As soon as he'd got himself dressed, he put on a pot of coffee and rummaged around in the cupboards to see if there was anything edible.

His dad had never been much of a cook, but James suspected there would be bread at the very least, maybe some eggs.

Surprisingly, he was all out of luck. Apart from condiments and a few cans of soup, the cupboards were empty. What had his dad been living on? If he intended to stay in town for anything longer than a day or two, then he'd need to buy some groceries to see him through to the end of the week. It was a given he'd be around at least that amount of time while he arranged his dad's funeral. It was something he didn't want to have to think about but it couldn't be put off.

He sat down at the kitchen table to drink his coffee.

It wasn't particularly good coffee, but James had never really considered himself a coffee snob. As long as it was hot, sweet and black then he was good to go.

While he drank, James made a mental list of the things he had to do. The first and most important thing was to call the funeral directors. That was something that really couldn't wait. He hoped they would be able to advise him of the other things that needed to be done because James didn't have a clue where to start. The bank would have to be informed of his dad's death too, he supposed, as would his dad's lawyer, Larry Thorne.

James had some money saved that he could use to pay for the funeral if he had to, but he was sure his dad had been paying into some sort of life insurance policy that would help with costs.

Larry would know more about that.

James couldn't believe he had to think about such things.

He'd never imagined he'd see this day. Parents were supposed to be invincible, weren't they? They were supposed to make you feel safe and secure and always be there for you. But James knew from experience that wasn't the case.

He'd lost his mom to cancer almost twelve years ago and that had been one of the hardest things he'd lived through. The difference was, he'd had his father to help him through his mom's death, and although it had been a difficult time, it had been made easier by having people that cared about him stand at his side and give him their support.

One person in particular had been there for James when he was sixteen.

He'd thought they would always be friends, but he'd been wrong about that. More wrong than he ever could have imagined.

James scrubbed a hand over his face while he tried to think about what to do next. He hoped he hadn't forgotten anything. He didn't know what he was doing, but there was no one around who he could ask for help.

A sudden wave of loneliness crashed over him, but he did his best to put it out of his mind. It wasn't the time to throw himself a pity party. He had things to do for this dad. Maybe James could think about falling apart after his dad had been put to rest.

Until then, he had to hold it together.

The first thing he needed to do was eat breakfast. He wasn't really hungry, but he knew he would function better when he had a bit of food inside him. Coffee and fresh air wasn't going to cut it this time, and so James grabbed his car keys and headed out the door.

It wasn't even nine, but already the sun was hot, baking James' skin as soon as he stepped outside. The air conditioning system in his car only worked when it felt like it and it seemed today was one of the days it had decided it didn't want to do anything that even closely resembled work.

James groaned and rolled down the windows, but the gust of warm air that whipped past his face did nothing to help cool him down.

Christ, James had forgotten how hot the summers got in Missouri? It hadn't been this hot in Des Moines-at least it hadn't felt like it.

It had taken James over six hours to drive home to Providence and the more miles he covered, the less he wanted to go back to Iowa. What did he have there waiting for him anyway?

It wasn't like he was leaving behind anything of any importance.

He might have stayed for Beau, before the man had showed his true colors.

If James was being honest with himself, even on the first day they'd met, deep down he'd known that it was never going to be anything more than casual between them. Beau might not have come out and told him that in so many words, but it had been evident in his actions.

There had never been any doubt in James' mind that Beau was gay, however he was so firmly entrenched in the closet, James doubted he would ever find the courage he would need to step out and take ownership of who he truly was. To admit it to the world, he would first need to admit it to himself. Maybe he'd be ready one day, though James would be an idiot to wait around for him to do so.

If he discounted Beau then there was nothing else that he was leaving behind.

He'd quit his job and his cat had deserted him.

He had the mortgage on his house there, but it wouldn't be too difficult to put it on the market and he didn't have many possessions he could call his own. Maybe he could stay in Missouri for a while after the funeral.

It was as good a place as any.

And it still felt like home.

James would need to find out what the situation was with his dad's house first, but that wouldn't be too hard to do. He knew his dad owned the house, had for some years now, he just didn't know what would happen to it not that his dad had passed away. Had his dad even made a will and if so, had he changed it after they'd argued?

Larry would be able to tell him.

He'd give him a call when he got back.

The grocery shopping didn't take long. James considered stopping off at a diner for breakfast, but he changed his mind last minute. Sweat poured down his face as he drove home. He'd have to take another shower as soon as he got in.

He remembered the place from his youth where he used to go to cool down in the hot summer months. It was somewhere he used to spend a lot of time. He hadn't been there in years, but he'd visited often when he was in high school-nearly every day, in fact.

James wondered if his spot by the river looked the same as it had back then. Had someone else discovered it? Was someone else calling it theirs now?

Before he could change his mind, he took the left turn that led to the river. He looked around and smiled. It all looked pretty much the same as he had remembered it, except the trees were a little taller and the grass a lot more overgrown.

He made his way through the trees, taking the familiar route he'd walked so many times before. The closer he got to the river, the more his stomach cramped with anticipation.

Was it possible for somewhere to be both your favorite _and _most hated place at the same time?

After a few moments of walking the narrow path through the trees, James stood in the clearing on the edge of the water. The place was exactly as he remembered it, but the familiarity didn't bring the comfort he'd expected it to.

He wasn't sure exactly what he'd been hoping to find, but it wasn't there...or rather, _he _wasn't there.

The temperature must have been well into the nineties. As James wiped the sweat off his forehead and stared at the inviting water, a small smile played on his lips. When he was in high school, James would skinny dip in this river. It was a secluded area that no one ever came to and it had been his sanctuary until the day that had changed everything.

James didn't let himself think about that day anymore.

In the beginning, it had been all he had thought about. He'd cursed himself a hundred times over and over for doing what he'd done and wondered how different his life might have been if he hadn't kissed his best friend, if he hadn't ruined everything they had.

James took another look around the clearing and, when he was satisfied he was alone, he took off his clothes.

Completely naked, he waded into the water.

Skinny dipping here at the river was something James had done often when he was a teenager and, even though he felt odd at first and worried someone might come by and see him, he'd lost all his inhibitions by the time he got in the water.

It was cold to begin with, a serious shock to his system, but it felt good against his overheated skin. He floated on his back, gazing up at the cloudless sky and for a short time, it was as if he didn't have a care in the world.

He could almost pretend that he was seventeen again, that his mother and father were still alive and Kendall was still his best friend.

Kendall...who'd had the starring role in every one of his fantasies.

Kendall...who had crushed James' heart without even realizing he'd held it in his hands.

James swam for another few minutes then got out of the water.

There was a large rock on the river bank that James used to sunbathe on so he took his usual spot, stretched out and closed his eyes, letting the sun dry his body and warm his face. He could almost convince himself he was happy...almost.

"Hey, James."

James practically jumped out of his skin.

His eyes flew open and he raised a hand to his chest, fighting to catch his breath.

"Jesus. You scared the hell out of me." When James looked up and put a face to the voice he hadn't heard in ten years, he froze.

Then his eyes became wide with panic and his heart hammered heavily in his chest.

"Relax, James, I'm not going to hurt you." Kendall said quietly.

James lifted a hand to shield his eyes from the sun, embarrassed by his overreaction to Kendall's presence.

"What the hell are _you _doing here?"

Kendall let out a long, slow breath. "I heard you were in town. I'm so sorry about your dad."

When the shock of seeing Kendall finally abated, James had the presence of mind to cover his dignity, even if the action was kind of late. He edged off the rock and reached for his clothes.

"You didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

Kendall looked down before meeting his eyes. "I've been looking for you. I wanted to talk to you."

"What could you possibly have to say to me? Or did you come to start shit? Is that it? Did you come to hit me again? Show the little faggot how big and strong and macho you are?"

Kendall recoiled at James' words as though he'd been physically slapped, and a flicker of emotion that James couldn't place passed over his face.

"I came to apologize." He said.

James tried and failed to hide his surprise. "Apologize? Well, go on then. I'm waiting."

Kendall took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm _so _sorry. I know it's-"

"Great, you apologized. Now get lost."

Kendall sighed. "I mean it, James. I'm so sorry for what I said to you and I'm sorry for what I did. I should never have hit you."

James shrugged like it didn't make one lick of difference to him, but the truth was, he'd wanted to hear those words from Kendall's lips since the day it had happened. But now that Kendall was in front of him and saying them, they didn't feel like enough.

"What the hell do you want from me? You want my forgiveness, is that it?"

"No, I-"

"Well, I can't give it to you. You _hurt_ me, you…"

"It was never my intention to hurt you. I'm sorry about your face, I-"

"I'm not talking about the punch." James said. "My nose healed. It was more than that and you know it. I thought we were friends, I never thought you'd do something like that. I trusted you." James laughed, but the sound was devoid of humor. "I guess I was an idiot, huh?"

"No." Kendall responded. "You weren't. _I _was the idiot. I was scared and I lashed out, in more ways than one."

James heaved a heavy sigh.

"Look, I know I shouldn't have kissed you, all right? I know it was wrong. I was way out of line, and believe me, I'm sorry for doing it, but you were my best friend. I thought that _you _more than anyone else would be able to understand me. I thought you'd be there for me. I needed you. I _counted _on you."

Kendall hung his head and his blond bangs fell forward to cover his eyes.

"I said a lot of things that day that I regret, and I wish I could take them back, but I can't." Kendall said softly. "I know how much I hurt you and I'm so sorry for that." Finally, Kendall lifted his head and met James' gaze. "Didn't it ever occur to you why I reacted so strongly that day?"

"Of course it did." James scoffed. "It's because you're a homophobic asshole."

Kendall snorted. "I guess you would think that, but surely you know what they say about people that protest the loudest."

James tilted his head and stared at his old friend for the longest time, trying to work out what he was trying to say.

He couldn't possibly be telling James what he thought he was...could he?

"Now wait just a damn minute. Are you trying to say that you're…"

"Gay?" Kendall finished. "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying."

James stared at Kendall open-mouthed.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Kendall was _gay_?

That selfish fucking son of a bitch.

He'd made James feel like shit all those years ago. He'd made him believe that there was something wrong with him. He'd made him feel dirty and ashamed of himself and that he wasn't good enough-for Kendall or for anyone.

And for a long time...James had believed it.

It had taken him years to stop feeling ashamed for something he had no control over. He often wondered how different his life would have turned out if he'd had the support of his best friend.

But he hadn't.

He pulled his shirt over his head then glared at Kendall.

How could you forgive someone you once trusted for hurting you like that?

He wasn't sure he had the forgiveness in him.

"You've said your piece, now I'd like for you to leave." James muttered.

He couldn't look at Kendall when he spoke. He was afraid that looking into those green eyes would make his determination crumble, and he couldn't let that happen. James was in town for his father-he didn't need this shit right now.

Didn't Kendall get that?

Didn't that just prove what a selfish asshole he really was?

Kendall swallowed audibly then nodded. "Of course."

He turned to leave then paused and lifted his hand slowly until it came to rest on Jame's shoulder. James wanted to shrug it off, but he didn't have the energy or the willpower the action would have taken. He just looked at it-anything to avoid looking Kendall in the eye.

"I didn't only come here to tell you how sorry I am. I came to offer my help. I know how hard it was on you when you lost your mom. I was there for you then and I'd like to be here for you now. I lost my own father a few years ago so I know what you're going through. If you need any help with the arrangements for the funeral, you only need to ask."

This time James did shrug Kendall's hand away.

"I'm sorry to hear about your dad, but I don't need any help, thank you. I'm perfectly capable of handling it on my own."

Kendall's mouth curved up into a small smile that never quite reached his eyes.

"How did I know you were going to say that?" Kendall shook his head before starting to walk back towards the road. "But if you change your mind, I still live in town. You can find me at-"

"I won't be trying to find you." James interrupted. "Ever. You don't need to tell me where, because it's never going to happen. We were friends once, but that was a long time ago and you ruined it. We're never going to be friends again."

Kendall held James' gaze for a long moment and there appeared to be a trace of pain in his eyes, or was it sadness? James didn't know, but he was sure he saw Kendall swallow down a lump in his throat.

"Take care of yourself, James."

James watched Kendall walk away until he was out of sight.

* * *

**Done! So there you have it. James and Kendall have come face to face, and you all got a bit of what caused the rift between them.**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! Next chapter, you all will get more of the story behind what went down between James and Kendall. That'll be up later in the week.**

**Until then! **

**-Epically Obsessed**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Welcome back to Chances!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, No-Emotions-To-Cry, Guest, Side1ways, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

When he was finally alone again, he sat down heavily on the rock and scrubbed a hand over his face.

The meeting had been harder than he'd imagined. He'd often wondered what it would feel like to see Kendall again and thought about what he would say to him. He'd had a whole stupid speech planned out in his mind when he was eighteen, but it seemed the years had watered down the inclination to give Kendall a piece of his mind.

James wanted to hate Kendall...but he didn't. He couldn't.

They had been the best of friends once. When they were fifteen, James had believed that nothing could have ever come between them. They'd known each other's hopes and dreams, each other's secrets, and they'd kept them faithfully. James had thought he'd be able to trust Kendall with the biggest secret of all-that he was gay-but it seemed _that _secret had been too big for Kendall to bear. He hadn't known how to deal with it and he'd lashed out.

Of course, now, James knew the reason why.

Kendall must have been terrified that his own secret would have been revealed, that James would have found out they were more alike than he'd realized. What a damn coward Kendall had been. James had thought he'd been weak, certainly weaker than his friend, but he'd been wrong.

Kendall had been the weak one.

They'd just finished their last year of high school and were going off to separate colleges when it had happened. Kendall had been worried they'd lose touch when they left town and went their separate ways, and James had shared in that fear, but what Kendall hadn't known was that James' reasons had been different to his.

A week before they were due to leave, they had come to their place by the river. It had been a beautiful summer's day, hot and sticky-there hadn't been much air to be had. To cool off they'd gone skinny dipping in the river and were drying out side by side on the rock.

Kendall had cracked some stupid joke about Mrs. Henderson from the grocery store, and James had laughed and laughed until he was doubled over, clutching his sides and gasping for breath. When he'd finally recovered, he'd turned to Kendall, seen the sparkle in his eyes and, in a moment of utter madness, he'd closed the distance between them and kissed his best friend.

It had been an incredibly stupid, impulsive thing to do. He hadn't thought about the consequences. He hadn't taken the time to consider what it would do to their relationship or how it would change things between them.

He hadn't thought about anything at all.

He'd just done it.

He had leaned forward and touched their lips together and in doing so, made the biggest mistake of his life.

At first, James had thought Kendall was kissing him back, and it had made him happier than he could ever remember being. James' heart had raced in his chest when their lips had pressed together more firmly and adrenaline had rushed through his body, filling his dick until it had become harder than it had ever been.

He hadn't been able to stop the moan that had escaped his lips or stop himself from holding Kendall's head to deepen the kiss. When he'd slipped his tongue inside Kendall's mouth, it had been then that Kendall had pulled back, his mouth open wide with shock, and the reality of the situation had set in.

Kendall's face had been clouded with anger and before James had been able to do anything to stop it or even raise a hand to protect himself, Kendall had punched him.

It had hurt like hell and while he'd held his head back, trying to stem the flow of blood from his nose, Kendall had jumped up and had started pulling on his clothes, all the while shouting at James, enraged.

He'd said things James had never expected to leave his best friend's lips.

"_Stay away from me, freak! You're a faggot. Don't touch me. If you ever come near me again, I'll tell everyone what you tried to do to me…"_

There had been more-a barrage of words and insults and accusations that had cut James to the core.

They'd changed him and made him wary of opening up to anyone again.

He'd gone home that day and cried and cried, heartbroken over what he'd done and the things Kendall has said to him. It turned out his nose had been broken, but the pain in his chest had hurt far worse than the pain in his face.

Just as Kendall had demanded, James hadn't gone near him again, and a week later they had both gone off to their respective colleges.

James had thought about tracking Kendall down in college to apologize for what he'd done, but he never had. He'd been afraid to provoke Kendall more.

In truth, James had been a coward.

He couldn't have faced seeing Kendall again, couldn't have stood to see the repulsion in his best friend's eyes, so he'd stayed away, but the guilt had eaten him up inside. And every time he'd thought about that day it had reminded him of what Kendall thought he was-a dirty queer that had come one to his straight best friend.

Of course, in time he'd come to realize that he wasn't dirty. That there wasn't something wrong with him.

He was just different.

But it had taken time, years in fact, before he'd made peace with himself.

He'd been afraid to even look at a guy in college in case they treated him the same way Kendall had. He hadn't wanted to be laughed at or hurt, not that anyone could have hurt him more than Kendall had.

After college, he'd started an internship in Iowa and discovered there were other gay men working in the office. That was about the time he had started to feel comfortable in his own skin. But for ten years, while he'd got on with his life and had tried to forget about his best friend and carve out a life for himself, Kendall had never been far from his thoughts.

James had often wondered where Kendall was living and what he was doing with his life. Was he married? Did he have children? Did he ever think about James? He shouldn't have wanted to know the answers to those things about the person who had hurt him so much. He should have cared, but he had. He did.

James supposed he had his answers now, finally.

It seemed Kendall was still living in Providence. And he was gay. Was he single?

James shook the treacherous thought from his head. He was glad he'd never contacted Kendall to apologize for what he'd done because it seemed now that maybe Kendall should have been the one to apologize to him.

But James hadn't seen or heard so much as a peep from Kendall in ten years, so he couldn't be _that _sorry for what he'd said and done, could he?

What in the hell had he been doing at the river, looking for him?

He'd said he wanted to apologize, but if it was so important to him, why wait ten years? James might have fallen out with his father, but the old man knew where he was living. He would have given Kendall his address if he'd asked for it. Besides, the argument with his dad had only taken place a couple of years ago. Kendall had eight years to find him before then.

So why hadn't he?

Because he didn't really care at all. That was why.

He was probably just covering himself in case James ran into him in town, or heard that he was gay from some other source and decided to call him out on it.

James sighed and got up from the rock. It was pointless wondering or asking questions he would never know the answers to. And it worked both ways, he supposed. He'd never sought out Kendall to try to make things right between them, had he?

The best thing he could do would be to forget about Kendall.

He needed to put the entire incident behind him and close the book on that chapter of his life. He was in town to deal with his father's funeral arrangements, nothing more. As soon as that was done, he would go back to Des Moines.

He might have thought about staying in Providence, but now that he knew Kendall was still in town there was no way he was going to do that. He didn't want to have to see him every day. That would only make things harder. He'd go back to his condo and find another job as soon as the funeral was over.

It would be for the best.

With a renewed sense of purpose, James strode back to his car.

He had things to do and he couldn't waste another moment of his time thinking about Kendall.

* * *

Kendall took a deep breath and pushed open the diner door.

Work was the last place he wanted to be, but Camille told him she could only cover until midday. He might have asked her to stay, but he knew she had to take her son to the doctor.

Kendall couldn't complain about her leaving. She hadn't had to cover for him, and he was grateful to her for stepping in at such short notice. She'd already worked over her hours for the week. She'd been doing him a favor and he wouldn't take advantage.

Kendall hadn't been able to sleep since his mother had told him James was back in town. All he'd been able to think about was finding him and apologizing. It was something he should have done many years ago, he knew that, but he'd been a coward and hadn't wanted to see the pain in James' eyes when he looked at him. He knew how badly he'd hurt James and he'd never forgiven himself for it.

Kendall had hoped that seeing James again and finally apologizing to him would help, but it had only made him feel worse.

It wasn't because of the guilt, although that had been as prevalent as always. It was because his stomach had lurched and his breath had caught in his chest when he'd looked at James again.

After ten long and somewhat lonely years, the attraction was still as strong as it had always been, and even though he had no right to, he couldn't help but wonder if James had felt anything when he'd looked at him...well, anything other than the anger and hurt that had been so evident in his eyes.

Kendall had been fifteen the first time he'd looked at James as something more than a friend. It had been the first time he'd noticed _any _boy in that way and it had scared the hell out of him.

He hadn't wanted to be gay. He hadn't wanted to be different. He and James had been playing by the river like they had most days when they got home from school, and had just been in for a swim.

The water had been dripping in steady rivulets from James' hair down his neck and shoulders and down his smooth, tan chest. It was the first time Kendall could remember seeing a wet body as something erotic. He'd wanted to move closer and lick the drops away with his tongue. He'd got hard instantly, then he'd become embarrassed.

He'd grabbed his clothes, dressed, and got the hell out of there, telling James he had to do something for his parents. Of course, that had only been the first time he'd noticed James that way. There had been many other times after that, right up until the day James had kissed him and he'd panicked and made the worst goddamn mistake of his life. He'd pushed James away and punched him and he fucking hated himself for doing that.

Kendall now knew it was stupid, but he'd only freaked out because he'd been naked and he knew James would have seen how excited he'd become. They'd been for a swim in the lake and had been drying out on the rock. Kendall remembered saying something to make James laugh because he loved the sound of James laughing-it was like music to his ears. It had been innocent up until that point, just friends goofing around.

To get naked and swim around together was something that he and James had done numerous times before, but it had all changed with that simple, innocent little kiss. The second their lips had touched, Kendall had grown painfully hard like he had that first time he'd reacted to James' wet, naked body. And it had reminded him of that first time, too-of the shame he'd felt, of the confusion-and before he could think about what he was doing, he'd pulled away and lashed out.

He could still remember the look James had given him. Kendall didn't think it was something he would ever be able to forget. There had been hurt at first and shock undoubtedly-pain even-but it was the disappointment etched into every crevice on James' face that had been the hardest to stomach. James hadn't believed that Kendall would let him down, but that was exactly what he'd gone and done.

Although he hadn't stopped there, had he?

If it had just been the punch, there might have been a way back from that.

Bile began to rise in Kendall's throat when he thought about the things he'd said to James that day by the lake. He'd been so shocked, so embarrassed, that he'd said things in the heat of the moment that he wished to God he could take back.

Not that there was any excuse for the things he'd said. And when he hadn't been able to stand the look of disappointment in James' eyes anymore, Kendall had turned on his heel and had run away like the coward he was. He'd been too afraid to get in touch with James later to apologize, too. He'd been terrified he'd see that look again-the look that had the capacity to break his heart into a thousand little pieces.

And the hardest part was that it had been _his _damn fault to begin with.

He'd put that look on James' face.

What would it have mattered if he'd gone to James and he'd had that same look on his face anyway? Kendall still saw it every time he closed his eyes. Sometimes, it was _all _he could see.

He should have found the courage to apologize to James before today, he knew that now. He should have begged James to forgive him, begged him not to throw away a friendship that had been the most important thing in Kendall's life.

He should have admitted everything.

After all, what did he have left to lose? He'd already lost the most important thing in his life-James' friendship.

But he hadn't apologized and even as he'd said he was sorry earlier by the lake, he'd known it was too little, too late. He'd known that the word 'sorry' simply wasn't enough. James didn't want anything to do with him anymore, and Kendall couldn't blame his old friend one bit.

"Hey, Kendall." Camille greeted brightly when he joined her behind the counter. "How was your morning?"

_Pretty fucking awful_, was what he wanted to say, but "Good, thanks," was what actually came out.

"It got really busy after you left, but it calmed down about twenty minutes ago." Camille said, stacking coffee cups on the shelf behind the counter.

Kendall tried to smile, but wasn't sure he managed it. "Thanks for covering for me today, I really appreciate it."

Camille shrugged. "Honestly, I'm grateful for the extra shifts right now. Asher's medical care is getting expensive." She said before lowering her gaze, the smile on her face bittersweet.

Asher, Camille's son, had a bad case of asthma and was always being admitted to the hospital after a particularly bad attack. But Kendall hadn't known Camille was struggling financially-if she'd have told him, he would have helped.

"Why didn't you say anything? If you needed extra shifts, you know all you had to do was ask. I'll take a look at the shift list and see what I can do, and if you need to borrow-"

Camille raised her hand. "I appreciate the offer of extra work, I'll definitely take you up on that, but I'm not a charity case. I don't want to borrow anything. And I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I just…"

"You don't. Say no more. I'll give you a call in the morning to let you know what extra shifts I've got going next week, okay?"

Camille smiled gratefully. "Yes. Thank you."

Kendall nodded. "Anything else I need to know? No one called for me while I was away?"

Camille shook her head. "Nope, no messages. Oh, you need more quarters and you're clean out of the peach and pecan pie. Mrs. Peters was in earlier with her sister and she polished off the last two pieces."

Kendall smiled at the news.

He was glad to hear it. May Peters must he back to full health is she was polishing off two pieces of pie.

"That sounds about right. Carlos said he was going to make a fresh batch tomorrow."

"Well then, I guess I'll be going. See you tomorrow afternoon."

"Yeah, tomorrow, and I'll let you know about those extra shifts, okay?"

"That's great, thanks."

The day was pretty quiet after Camille left to pick up her son.

Kendall thought it was going to be another boring and uneventful day until Katie stuck her head in the diner, grinning like crazy. When she pushed open the door, her hands were full of shopping bags from the mall.

"Oh Lord, here comes trouble." Kendall quipped. "And here I thought I was in for a quiet afternoon."

Katie rolled her eyes. "You hate quiet afternoons."

"Not always. So what have you been up to, or do I not want to know the answer to that question?" Kendall cast a wary eye over the array of bags his sister had dumped unceremoniously at her feet. "And where's that gorgeous niece of mine?"

Katie took a seat on one of the stools at the counter and picked up a menu even though she could probably recite the entire thing by heart by now.

"To answer your first question, I've been shopping at the mall and I can't remember the last time I had as much fun with my clothes on."

"Katie!" Kendall groaned. "Did you have to go there?"

Katie's smile widened. "Oh come on, Kendall. If I can't talk about shopping and sex with my gay brother, who can I talk to about it?"

Kendall checked over his shoulder even though he knew the diner was presently empty.

"The shopping I can tolerate. Mostly..." He said. "But come on-you squick me out sometimes with all the sex talk."

"Is that even a word?"

Kendall shrugged. "Don't care. So what's with the marathon shop?"

"I had to pick out a new outfit for my d-a-t-e on Saturday night."

Kendall chuckled when his sister spelled out the word.

"You get something nice?"

"Of course!" Katie said as though Kendall had asked the stupidest question ever. "And to answer your second question, the brat is with her father. His highness is picking her up from school then taking her out for something to eat."

Kendall grinned. "Really? And just how much did you have to pay him to do that?"

Katie's mouth fell open. "I resent that! Just because we're not together anymore doesn't mean John doesn't see his daughter from time to time, you know."

Kendall waited, eyebrows raised.

"Fine, twenty bucks." Katie admitted. "He said he didn't have any money to buy her dinner. And don't tell Mom, okay?"

"My lips are sealed."

Katie's waste of space ex-fiance-otherwise known as John-was a bone of contention in their family. Fortunately, his sister had come to her senses before she'd actually walked down the aisle with the loser, although Kendall still struggled to understand what she had ever seen in him in the first place.

"Speaking of Mom, did she agree to watch the little angel on date night or do I have that pleasure?"

"It's okay, Mom's got this one, but if things go well and there's a second date, you're definitely in the running."

Kendall threw his head back and laughed. "In the running? I didn't realize it was a competition."

"Are you kidding me? Do you know how many babysitting offers I get for that little heathen?" Katie shook her head. "Honestly, I don't know what the hell people see when they look at her, but it sure as shit isn't the whiny, conniving monster I have to put up with then it's time for her to go to bed."

"Behave." Kendall said playfully. "You have a five-year-old darling little girl, not the spawn of Satan."

Katie snorted. "Trust me, they are one and the same."

Kendall worked in silence while he made his sister a cup of coffee. When he was done, he placed the cup in front of her before leaning back against the counter to watch her take a sip. She groaned as though it was the best thing she'd ever tasted. It had to be better than the instant shit she always offered him when he paid her a visit.

Kendall busied himself cleaning glasses and when he finally looked up and met his sister's gaze she had her head cocked to the side and her lips pursed.

"Are you ready to tell me what's going on?" She asked.

"Huh?"

"You frowned your way through the entire making of this coffee and you've been on another planet since. If you're not careful, your face is gonna get stuck that way and then who's gonna want to bone ya?"

"Katie!"

_Jesus. _Sometimes Kendall had to wonder if they were really related.

She just shrugged in response. "Besides, you're giving me a headache."

Kendall stared at his sister and tried to understand her reasoning.

He couldn't come up with a logical answer, so he had to ask, "My frowning is giving you a headache?"

Katie nodded and took another sip of her coffee.

"Yep, it's depressing to look at and depressing things give me a headache. I don't know how much more of it I can take." She said, shaking her head. "I've got a date Friday, remember? You're supposed to be encouraging me, not making me want to end it all before I even meet the dude. Come on, out with it. What's got your knickers in a twist?"

Kendall scrubbed his eye with the heel of his hand. "Wonderfully eloquent as always."

"Bullshit. I'm not going to ask you again. If you don't tell me what's up, I'll call in the big guns."

"The big guns?"

Katie's grin turned positively feral. "Mom."

Kendall let out a weary sigh and met his sister's gaze.

"James is in town."

Katie had the coffee cup raised to her lips, but after Kendall had spoken she lowered it, reached for his hand and held it in her own. Every trace of humor disappeared from her expression.

"Are you okay?"

Kendall shrugged as though he was just fine, but the shaky, "No," that came out of his mouth didn't sound fine at all.

"How do you know he's back? Did he come in here?"

Kendall shook his head. "No, Mom told me she saw him at the hospital. His father passed away. So I went to see him this morning."

"You went to his house?"

"Yeah, only he wasn't home. I was on my way back here when I passed the turning for the river. I haven't been back there in years and, knowing James was back, I felt...I don't know, nostalgic, I guess." I shrugged. "I never expected him to be there, but he was. He was right there in our spot."

Katie started to rub soothing circles on the back of Kendall's hand. "What did he say?"

"What _could _he say? He was pissed, naturally. I can't expect him to forgive me for what I did."

His sister frowned. "Why the hell not? What happened between you was a long time ago and it wasn't like you actually meant what you said or what you did. What did he say when you explained your reasons and told him how you felt?"

Kendall's gaze slid to the floor.

"You stupid asshole!"

"Hey!"

"What? You want me to congratulate you for being a dick? Why didn't you tell him what you told me? You should have told him scared you were that day and that you felt embarrassed. You should have told him what led up to that reaction and how you really felt about him. You know that might have been exactly what he wanted to hear."

"And it might not. You were right. What happened between us was a long time ago. James has no doubt moved on with his life since then. He probably doesn't give a shit how sorry I am and why I said those things to him ten years ago." He let out a sigh. "He's a twenty-eight-year-old adult now, not a teenager. He has a life, a life that has nothing to do with me or who he was back then. What difference would it make what I said to him now? Besides, he's only in town to sort out the arrangements for his dad's funeral and then he'll be going back to his life in Des Moines."

"Did he tell you that?"

Kendall frowned. "He didn't have to."

"Right, and I bet you didn't even tell him you went to Des Moines to see him, did you?"

Kendall wouldn't look his sister in the eye. He swallowed down a lump in his throat and turned to unload the dishwasher. When he wasn't facing her, it became easier to talk, but when the words left his mouth, they sounded sad and gloomy.

"What would be the point? He made his feelings clear. I have to respect them."

He sounded pathetic and he knew it.

Honestly, he half expected his sister to tell him to shut the hell up with the pity party.

"What you have to do is be honest with him for once in your life. You drove for over six hours to see him and to make it right between you-not once, but twice, Kendall. _Twice_!"

"Christ, will you drop it already? I don't want to talk about about this anymore so just...drop it. _Please_."

Kendall was started to lose his temper with his sister even though it was really himself he was angry with. He knew how much of a coward he'd been. He didn't need Katie to remind him of that fact.

He was more than capable of chastising himself.

Yes, he'd driven up to Iowa to see James a couple of times. But each time he got there, he had chickened out of talking to James and hadn't even let him know he was there. The last time he'd made the journey was going to be _the _time.

He'd had it all figured out in his head.

He'd known exactly how he was going to apologize for what he'd said and done. He'd known what he was going to say if James questioned him. His strategy had been crystal clear. But then he'd seen James embrace a man he'd let into his apartment, and Kendall had had to rethink everything.

James had looked happy, and Kendall had asked himself what the hell he was doing there. It had been obvious that James had moved on with his life and forgotten about the past, just as Kendall should have done.

Only he hadn't.

He couldn't.

How the hell was he supposed to move on with his life when he compared every man he met to the first guy he had ever loved?

His James.

* * *

**Done! So, you all got a bit more insight into what happened with James and Kendall, as well as the revelation that Kendall went to see James twice.**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter will be up sometime later in the week, next weekend at the latest. And for those of you reading We're so Metal, the next chapter of that should be up on Monday. :)**

**Until then!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello again everyone! So, this wasn't going to go up until this weekend, but here we are! :D**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, RainbowDiamonds, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

James leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. He had so much work to do, but after his run-in with Kendall, he didn't have the energy for it.

He felt drained.

He couldn't believe how much the meeting had affected him. He'd tried hard over the years to put Kendall out of his mind, but he clearly hadn't been as successful as he'd thought. Just one look at Kendall was all it had taken to make James feel like the pathetic boy he'd been, desperately in love with someone who would never love him back.

How had he never seen what an idiot he was?

To make matters worse, Kendall had looked great. He'd hardly changed at all over the past ten years except to get even better looking.

Damn him.

His blond hair was a slightly longer than he used to wear it and it was slightly darker, probably because Kendall didn't spend as much time in the sun as he had when they'd been in high school. His build was the same. Kendall had never been bulky, but solid. Tall and lean-an almost athletic build to him even though he'd never really been interested in sports. His face had been the same, filled out a little more and having lost a bit of its boyishness, but he was still handsome.

Even more so now than he used to be.

The sound of knocking tore James from his thoughts and reluctantly he got up to answer the front door. He prayed that it wouldn't be Kendall again because he wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with him. He didn't have the energy to fight anymore, but the scariest part was that he wasn't even sure he _wanted _to fight with Kendall. He'd made his feelings perfectly clear, though. So there was no way Kendall would be coming around anytime soon.

But that meant whoever was at the door was more than likely coming by to see his dad and hadn't heard about what had happened.

And how would they? James hadn't even thought about informing his dad's friends about his death.

Damn.

That was another thing to put on his to-do list.

He knew of a few people his dad had kept in touch with over the years, but he'd need his address book to find the rest. He'd look for it later.

He strode down the hall and pulled open the door.

Before he could speak, he was met with a high-pitched squeal and enveloped in a bone-crushing hug that nearly knocked him off his feet.

"Lucy?" James questioned. He hadn't had a chance to see the woman's face before he was buried beneath a mass of hair.

The woman pulled back and studied his face. "Of course it's me, dumbass, who did you think it was?"

James grinned. "It's good to see you, too."

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming home? I'd have made sure I was here. I mean, I know I _am _here, but...oh hell, you know what I mean. Did you and your dad make up?"

Lucy was the only person from Providence that James kept in touch with. Although they'd grown up just across the street from each other, they hadn't been close in high school. It wasn't that they disliked each other or didn't have anything in common, just that James had spent all his time with Kendall and he hadn't had the time or inclination to make any other friends.

However, James and Lucy had ended up going to the same college, and because they'd both been new to town and had felt like fish out of water, they'd struck up a friendship that had lasted ever since, even though they were living in different states.

Lucy was the first person James had told he was gay.

Well, that was if he didn't include the botched kiss with Kendall as telling someone about his sexuality. He'd been nervous about telling her, especially after what had happened with Kendall, but that had actually made him even more determined to get it off his chest.

He'd brought it up in casual conversation one day shortly after they'd started hanging out in college. James had wanted to get it over with before they became friends because he hadn't wanted to get close to her and get hurt again if she didn't like what she discovered later.

Lucy had shrugged, said, "That's cool." and then took another sip of her soda. That had been the end of the conversation.

But as James looked at Lucy's happy face and her last comment sank in, it was clear she hadn't heard about his father's death, and James hadn't thought to call her and tell her. He didn't know how to say the words now, either.

They were stuck in his damn throat.

"How did you know I was back?" He asked instead.

"I didn't. I was home visiting my mom and I saw your car parked in the driveway. Is everything okay? You look tired."

James shook his head then took a deep breath and tried to get his mouth to form the words.

"It's Dad, Lucy. He died. He…"

Before James could get out another word, Lucy had him crushed in another tight embrace that damn near stole all the breath from his lungs.

"Shit, James. I'm so sorry." She mumbled against his neck.

Lucy's grip on him was so tight that James couldn't do much more than shrug and try to swallow the painful lump in his throat.

"Come in." He managed at last once he realized they were still standing in the doorway. "I'll put on some coffee."

Fifteen minutes later they were seated at the kitchen table already drinking their second cup. James filled Lucy in on everything that had happened since he'd got the phone call at work.

"You've been through so much in the last couple of days. You shouldn't have had to go through any of it alone. Why the hell didn't you call me you idiot?"

James shrugged.

"I didn't know you were home." He said lamely.

Truth was, he didn't know why he hadn't called his friend. He'd done a lot of things that were out of character in the past twenty-four hours.

Perhaps it was the grief.

Lucy gave him the look. "You think I wouldn't have come home? Jesus, James, you're my best friend. And I'm only living in Kansas, for fuck's sake. It's hardly on the other side of the world. I'd have come home in a heartbeat. I'll always be here for you."

James reached out and covered Lucy's hand with his own.

"You're here now."

Lucy nodded and took a sip of her coffee. "So, he finally apologized, huh?"

James nodded. "Yeah. Not that it makes any difference. I don't want his damn apology."

Lucy raised her eyebrows but stayed silent. She held James' gaze for a few moments until he was squirming in his seat.

"Okay, okay, it does make a difference. You happy now?" Sometimes James hated how well Lucy had come to know him over the years. It meant he couldn't hide anything from her, not that he really ever had anything that needed hiding.

"Marginally." Lucy replied. "You can try to fool yourself, but you don't fool me. I can see right through you and don't you forget it. And thank God that despicable, sorry excuse for a human being is out of your life." She added. "I was hoping _you'd _kick _him _to the curb, but this works just fine, too. At least he's gone. Maybe now you can meet someone that gives a shit about you and preferably someone with a backbone that's not afraid to tell the world you're together. You deserve better than that, James."

James nearly choked on his coffee. "I thought you liked Beau!"

Lucy snorted. "Tolerated is more like it, for your sake. Liked? Please. Give me _some _credit. I do have a little taste, you know."

James put his cup down on the table and sighed. "I've made a real mess of things, haven't I?"

"No, you haven't. You just never got over the boy you were in love with when you were a teenager. It's not a bad thing to be so steadfast and committed, but it usually helps if that person loves you back, you know?"

James' first instinct was to protest, to deny that he still had feelings for Kendall after all these years, but he knew it would be useless to lie to Lucy.

She was too damn sharp for her own good.

James' shoulders slumped in defeat. "What am I going to do now?"

"Well, for starters, we've got a funeral to arrange."

"We?" James' voice shook, but he didn't look away from Lucy's penetrating gaze.

He couldn't'.

Lucy frowned. "You didn't think I was going to let you do this all on your own, did you? I'm staying. For as long as you need me."

"What about your job?"

Lucy gave a slight shrug of her shoulders. "They can manage without me for a while longer. I'm due time off anyway. I work too damn hard and they wouldn't dare argue with me. They know what side their bread is buttered on."

James quickly got out of his chair and threw his arms around Lucy. "You're one in a million, you know that?"

Lucy chuckled. "I know, I know, but can you tell my husband that, please? Just in case he didn't get the memo?"

James laughed then, he couldn't help himself. "That man couldn't love or spoil you any more if he tried."

When Lucy pulled back to meet James' gaze, her grin was positively wicked. "There's _always _room for improvement on the spoiling front and don't you forget it. We wouldn't want Steve to get complacent now, would we?"

James shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "No, we definitely wouldn't want that."

"Okay, enough chit-chat, we have a busy day ahead of us. What's the first thing you have to get done?"

"I have to call Dad's lawyer. Tell him what happened."

Lucy nodded. "Okay, you go and call him, and I'll start to give this place a bit of a spruce, how does that sound? When I'm done cleaning, you can put me to work on something else."

James smiled gratefully. "Thanks. I mean it, Lucy. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help."

Lucy shrugged. "What are friends for if not to give support when you need it? Well okay, and to be a pain in the ass from time to time, but we won't get into that right now."

XxX

Larry was surprised to hear from James, but the lawyer quickly got down to business when he learned of his old friend's death. Larry and David had been the same age and they were both Providence natives. They'd been on the football team together in high school and had gone to the same college.

James had seen a lot of Larry when he was growing up because his father and Larry had kept in touch over the years. They had been drinking buddies, and Larry and his wife had been a regular fixture on game nights.

James made an appointment to stop by his office at four that afternoon. He made a little small talk, but for the most part, James didn't have a lot to say to the man. He didn't dislike him, but other than James' father, they didn't have a lot in common.

When he finished talking to Larry, James helped Lucy clean the house. James usually hated cleaning, but it was nice to have something to do that didn't require the use of too many brain cells. He was happy to not have to think too much because his thoughts inevitably turned to his father's death or to Kendall-two things he couldn't allow himself to think about if he wanted to hold it together.

James' father had been a dentist, and even though he'd retired years ago, he was still well known around town. James imagined when people heard of his father's death they would start showing up to pay their respects, so James wanted the house to be spotless because that was the sort of thing people noticed when they paid someone a visit, wasn't it?

By the time they'd finished the clean-up, James' stomach was growling loudly, reminding him how hungry he was.

Lucy chuckled when she heard it. "Have you not had anything to eat today?"

James shook his head. "No, I couldn't face it this morning. Stomach didn't feel right."

Lucy shot James another one of those looks that made him feel about five years old.

How did she manage that?

He felt the urge to apologize even though he didn't know what he should apologize for.

"I'm not surprised your stomach didn't feel right." She said. "I could smell the booze on you as soon as you opened the door, but I didn't want to say anything."

James' eyebrows lifted in surprise. "_You _didn't want to say anything? Why the hell not? I've never known you to not speak your mind before."

She shrugged. "I thought you deserved to be cut a little slack, given the circumstances. But if I smell it on you tomorrow, you can rest assured that you and I are going to have some serious words. I'm not going to let you drown your sorrows while I'm around. Got it?"

James' mouth curved up against his will. "You don't have to worry. If I never have a glass of whiskey again it will be too damn soon."

Lucy nodded. "That's good enough for now, I guess. Shall we go out and grab some lunch?"

"Oh, I don't know." James hedged. "I'm not really up to seeing people and I have to meet up with Dad's lawyer later."

Lucy strode across the room and stood in front of James.

"You might not want to go out or see people at all, but trust me, it's the best thing you could do. You can't shut yourself away in this house like a hermit. The sooner you start getting out there, the better." She said. "Besides, it's only lunch. We don't have to go anywhere fancy. There's a diner in town. We could grab something quick there. I haven't been in before, but my mom said the food is pretty good. And you're not meeting Larry until four, so we have plenty of time."

James gave Lucy a tired smile.

He loved her for trying, and deep down he knew she was right.

He couldn't sit in the house staring at four walls and surrounded by his father's things. That would be a sure-fire way of making him feel depressed.

"Okay, let's go to lunch."

"Atta boy. Give me ten minutes to run home and change my clothes, and I'll meet you out front, okay?"

"In Lucy speak, that's 'give me half an hour'." James joked.

Lucy made a great show of looking offended, but she didn't say anything further before she ducked out of the door.

There was nothing she could say, James had been spot on.

James parked in the lot outside the diner and met Lucy around the front of the car. He'd never been to the diner before, either-had never seen it even, so it couldn't have been open for more than a couple of years because he definitely would have remembered it.

Even though James had lived away from Providence for ten years, not a lot had changed. But this place...this place looked new. And there was something about its name. It struck a chord with James-made him remember something that hadn't crossed his mind in a while.

"The Lucky Dollar?" Lucky asked skeptically as though she'd been reading James' thoughts. "Sounds like the name of a casino, not a diner."

James nodded. "Do you know who owns it?"

"Nope, not a clue. Why?"

"Oh, it's nothing." James said. "It looks nice."

Lucy nodded her agreement and pushed open the glass-paned door. James followed her inside. She'd barely taken two steps into the bright and welcoming room before she turned and started pushing James back towards the door.

"Uh, come on, we can eat somewhere else."

"What? Why? What's the-" James' words cut off when he looked across the counter and saw Kendall staring back at him. "Shit."

"Come on, James, let's go."

James held Kendall's gaze, and it became almost like a game to see who would look away first. The reason for the name of the diner became suddenly clear, but knowing why it had been given that name made a blush spread across James' face.

Why would Kendall name his business after something that was so personal to the two of them?

James had given Kendall the dollar when they were twelve years old.

It had been a gift from his father-a 1976 Eisenhower dollar. There was nothing unusual about it as far as James had been aware. There were still many of them in circulation, but James' father had told him he'd won the dollar and that it was 'lucky'.

James had scoffed at that idea and his father never did tell him how he had come to win it, but when Kendall's little sister Katie had come down with pneumonia, James had given his best friend the dollar and his sister had pulled through.

Of course, James knew now that Katie's improved health had most likely been down to the miracle of medicine rather than the healing powers of an old coin. But twelve-year-old James had believed the hype, as had Kendall. And from then on they had passed the dollar back and forth to each other whenever they'd needed a little luck.

"James?" Lucy said, pulling James from his memories. "Come on, let's go."

"James, is that you?"

Reluctantly, he tore his gaze from Kendall and turned to see who had called out his name.

Katie, Kendall's little sister, was striding in their direction.

"James! That is you! Come here and give me a big old hug."

James smiled and took the smaller woman in his arms.

"Hey, Katie, it's been a while. How have you been?" James asked when they finally separated.

"I've been great. I've got a monster of a daughter now. She's five already."

James smiled indulgently and said, "They grow up quick, don't they?"

He didn't have the first clue about how quickly children grew up, but he'd heard it said a time or two and it sounded about right.

Katie rolled her eyes. "Don't even get me started." She became serious suddenly. "I'm sorry to hear about your dad."

"Thanks." James wasn't sure what else to say. There wasn't really a lot he could say under the circumstances, so he indicated his best friend and asked Katie, "Do you remember Lucy?"

Katie finally looked past James and noticed Lucy standing behind him.

"Well, hello stranger." She grinned, practically shoving James out of the way to get a hug.

James watched the two women chatter on about babies and husbands or lack thereof with a bemused expression. He kept up with most of their chatter, but they lost him somewhere between breastfeeding and cutting in a first tooth.

James shuddered and tuned out of the conversation, his gaze drifting to Kendall and his lean body. He'd tried his utmost not to stare, but it seemed his body was a damned traitor because not only was he staring, he was walking in Kendall's direction on legs that seemed to have a mind and will of their own.

"I…"

"I…" James and Kendall said in unison.

Kendall chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "You go first."

"I didn't know you worked here." James said. "If I'd known, I wouldn't have come in."

Kendall's smile faded.

He looked almost wounded, but he recovered quickly. "I own the place. Bought it a couple of years ago, and whether you want to come in here or not, you'll always be welcome."

James shrugged and tried not to notice the sparkle of light in Kendall's eyes or the fullness of his mouth. He looked over his shoulder to see if Lucy and Katie had stopped gossiping so he could get the hell out of there, because being in such close proximity to Kendall was awakening feelings James had put to bed a long time ago, or so he'd thought.

But when he turned, the two women had their heads locked together and were deep in a conversation that looked to be for their ears only.

James sighed.

"Can I get you a cup of coffee?" Kendall asked.

James was tempted to say no just to spite Kendall, but then he realized the only person he would be spiting would be himself. Kendall probably wouldn't give two fucks whether he drank his coffee or not.

He nodded his head, but the "Thank you," he supplied was harder to voice.

"Sit down." Kendall said before he started to make the coffee.

James scowled.

Kendall's words sounded too much like a command.

He didn't like Kendall telling him what to do, but he knew he'd look like an idiot if he kept standing like he was in a line for a bus, so he reluctantly sat on one of the red leather stools and tried hard not to stare at his old friend while he made the coffee.

He didn't manage it.

The years really had been kind to Kendall. He'd been so surprised to see him at the lake that he hadn't got a good look at him, but now he couldn't stop. Although Kendall was still tall and lean, his shirt looked as though it hid muscles that sixteen-year-old Kendall definitely hadn't had.

Yep, Kendall had certainly filled out in all the right places.

James' gaze drifted lower.

_Damn._

"Do you want cream in this?" Kendall asked, pointing to the cup.

James squirmed on the stool.

_Shit._

Had Kendall caught him staring at his ass?

Wouldn't that be so damn typical?

He shook his head. "No thanks, I take it black."

Kendall raised a curious eyebrow, but he didn't comment.

James had hated black coffee when he'd been younger, and he wondered if Kendall remembered that.

Kendall placed the cup on the counter in front of James and picked up one of his own. James took a sip of the hot liquid and nearly groaned out loud in appreciation. Kendall must have seen the look on his face because he chuckled.

"Good, right?"

James shrugged and took another sip. When he thought he could speak without making an idiot of himself he looked up and met Kendall's gaze.

"So...The Lucky Dollar, huh?"

Kendall's gaze never left his, even when he put the coffee down and reached into his jeans pocket. He retrieved the dollar and tossed it to James.

James caught it and turned the coin over in his hand.

"You still carry this?"

Kendall's mouth curved up into a small smile. "Every day."

Jame slid the coin back across the counter, but Kendall shook his head.

"No, it already brought me my share of luck. I figure it's your turn to carry it for a while."

"What luck did it bring you?" James heard himself asking.

When Kendall replied, his voice was low and rough sounding, but it was the words themselves that made James shiver.

"It brought you home." Kendall said.

James ignored the increased thudding of his heart and how his breath caught in his chest, but he couldn't ignore the way his dick hardened against his will.

James did a mental eye roll. Stupid, damn, treacherous body. Didn't it know that now wasn't the time or the place to appreciate the scenery? What had Kendall meant by that exactly anyway? Why would he give a damn that James had come home? James was still squirming uncomfortably under Kendall's intense gaze when Lucy tapped him on the shoulder.

"Everything okay?"

He tore his eyes away and looked over his shoulder where Lucy was watching him with a big smile on her face. Anyone that didn't know her would think she was perfectly at ease, but James knew her well. The stiff set to her shoulders and the somewhat wary look in her eyes were the only indications of her unease. But James had learned to interpret her expressions well over the years.

"Yeah." He reassured her. "I'm good."

Only when she seemed satisfied with his answer did she turn her attention from James.

"Hello, Kendall." She said in as friendly a voice Kendall was likely to get.

James loved that she felt so loyal to him.

"Lucy. It's good to see you back in town." Kendall said. "Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

Lucy hesitated for a moment before nodding her head. "Sure, thanks."

Katie had made herself comfortable on the stool next to James'. She was grinning broadly, her head swiveling back and forth between James and her brother, watching their interaction with interest.

When Kendall finally turned to make Lucy's coffee, Katie spoke.

"So, how has life been treating you, James? Do you have a boyfriend?"

James gaped at Katie.

He didn't know why he was so surprised by her directness, but she'd caught him off guard. Kendall had stopped what he was doing, his back stiff and ramrod straight as though he too was waiting on James' reply, almost as though the answer was important to him.

"I've been good." James answered. "And no, I'm not seeing anyone at the moment."

Months of dating a man that was still in the closet had made the answer practically automatic and it was only after he'd spoken that James stopped to think about Beau and their recent break-up-if he could even call it that. Was it a break-up if your partner had never considered you to be in a relationship in the first place?

James watched Kendall relax his shoulders in his peripheral vision.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." Katie said, although she didn't sound sorry at all-she sounded pleased.

"What about you, Katie?" Lucy asked. "How come you're not married?"

Katie sighed. "Me? I'm still waiting on Mr. Right. I thought I'd found him, but it didn't work out." She shrugged. "Actually...I'm going on a date on Saturday night that has potential. Hey, why don't you both come over for dinner on Friday night? Then you can help me pick out what to wear and meet my little monster at the same time. What do you say, James?" Katie asked, looking at him expectantly.

"Uh...I don't know. I've got a lot going on at the moment...You know, with the funeral arrangements and-"

"That's exactly why you should come." Katie said. "It's a difficult time and I know how easy it can be to forget to eat. The last thing you want to do is stay home on your own."

"I…"

James looked at Lucy hoping she would help him get out of the invitation, but she'd taken a sudden interest in the contents of a menu. Kendall was still busy making the coffee. James didn't want to be rude and in the end, he figured it wouldn't do any harm to go to her house for a bite to eat, so he nodded his agreement.

"Sure, I'd love to come to dinner."

Katie's face lit up. "Perfect! I'll cook you my specialty. Pasta with spicy meatballs in a tomato and red wine sauce. You'll love it. Lucy, can you make it to dinner?"

"It sounds great, but I already promised my mom we could have some mother-daughter bonding time on Friday night-dinner and a movie. I don't want to back out because we don't see each other often since I moved to Kansas."

Katie waved off Lucy's concerns. "No worries. I'm sure James here can help me choose an outfit, can't you, James?"

James smiled politely and nodded, but he had to wonder what the hell he'd just set himself up for.

* * *

**Done! So, James and Kendall ran into each other again this chapter. We were introduced to Lucy, and it looks like James will be going over to Katie's for dinner soon. I wonder how that'll turn out. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed and that you all had an amazing weekend! The next chapter more than likely won't be up until this weekend, or early next week at the latest. **

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello everyone! Welcome back to Chances! :D**

**Before we get started with this, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, RainbowDiamonds, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Kendall rubbed his sweaty palms on jean-clad knees and crossed the room to the front window to peer out onto the street.

"Will you relax already? You're going to wear a hole in my carpet."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "You have wooden floors."

"You know what I meant." Katie said with a swish of her hand.

"Are you sure James knows I'm going to be here for dinner tonight?"

"Quit worrying, Kendall, it's going to be fine."

Kendall's stomach did a somersault. "Why aren't you answering my question? What did James say when you told him I'd be here?"

"Hope, will you pick your toys up, please? You know Mommy has a friend coming to dinner. Hope!"

Kendall watched his sister run around the room after the over-excitable five-year-old. When Katie finally got Hope seated and quiet, Kendall tried again.

"Katie? What did James say _exactly_?"

"Huh?"

"James. What did he say when you told him I'd be here for dinner?"

Katie ducked behind Hope, suddenly becoming very interested in a cache of dolls near the sofa that were missing various limbs.

"Oh God." Just as the words left his mouth, James' car turned into his sister's driveway. "Oh God. You didn't tell him, did you?"

Katie met his gaze and had the good grace to look embarrassed. "Uh...it might have slipped my mind."

"Katie! How could you? Oh my god."

"Will you just relax already? Jeez."

"He's going to hate me." Kendall said morosely.

"He already hates you." Katie said. "Tonight is going to make him like you again."

The doorbell sounded just before Kendall went into full-blown panic mode, and Katie jumped up and strode through the living room and out into the hall.

Kendall leaned against the wall and tried to blend in with the floral wallpaper. He slid down a little trying to make himself as small as possible as though he could hide the fact that he was in the room.

James was going to be so pissed. It was unlikely he'd leave because he wasn't the sort of person that would do something that rude to Katie, and Kendall just knew his sister was counting on that. One thing was for sure-James wouldn't be thanking Katie anytime soon.

Throttling her, maybe.

He could get in line.

"And this is the little monkey." Kendall heard Katie introduce out in the hall. Kendall was so preoccupied he hadn't even noticed Hope follow her mom out to the door.

"Well hello, gorgeous." James said brightly.

Just the sound of his voice made butterflies dance in Kendall's stomach and sent shivers of delight slithering down his spine. He'd missed that voice. God had he missed it. He wouldn't be too proud to admit it either.

Well, maybe not too proud, but too embarrassed certainly.

Kendall's eyes were riveted to the door. He couldn't have looked away if his life depended on it. His body was tight with anticipation. A moment later, Katie walked into the room followed by Hope, who was tugging James along beside her.

"Look who's here, Uncle Kendall." Hope said. "This is Mommy's friend, James."

"So it is." Kendall said to his niece.

Kendall lifted his gaze to James' face and his breath caught in this throat. James' first reaction was one of surprise, but it disappeared quickly and his brow furrowed.

"I didn't realize you were going to be here."

James' voice was steady and showed no trace of emotion, but Kendall could see how taut his body had become-his shoulders tense and his back stiff and straight.

"Yeah, guess it must have slipped Katie's mind, eh, sis?" Kendall shot a glare at his sister.

Katie shrugged. "You know me, terrible memory. Have a seat, James."

"Thanks."

It was obvious how uncomfortable James was with the entire situation and Kendall felt for him-he really did-but he couldn't help but be happy to have another chance to express his regret to James. Because he _did _regret what he had said and done to James all those years ago.

He'd never regretted anything more.

His biggest desire, one he didn't dare hope for, was that he and James could become friends again at the very least.

Katie waited until James was seated then she grabbed hold of Hope and lifted her until she was draped on one hip.

"I've got to put the monster to bed. It's past her bedtime already, but I promised her she could stay up until you got here. Would you mind fixing James a drink, Kendall? I won't be long."

"No!" Hope protested, frantically trying to slide out of her mother's tight hold. "I don't want to go to bed!"

"It's pointless arguing, you're going."

Katie's tone brooked no argument, but Hope was almost as stubborn as her mother. She squirmed in Katie's arms, trying to get her mother to release her.

"Please." She whined. "You promised, Mommy. You said I could stay up past bedtime!"

"Yes, and you already did. It was bedtime two hours ago."

The devastation on Hope's face as Katie carried her from the room pulled at Kendall's heartstrings...until Hope started kicking and screaming and crying, then all Kendall felt was relief he didn't have any children of his own. Hope was wonderful in small doses, but how Katie coped with her twenty-four seven, Kendall had no idea.

When the sounds of Hope's cries disappeared up the stairs, Kendall became suddenly aware that he and James were alone.

"I should go-"

"I'm sorry." Kendall interrupted.

"You seem to be saying that a lot." James scoffed. "What exactly are you sorry for this time?"

Kendall sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "I really thought my sister had told you I was going to be here. If I'd known she hadn't, I'd…"

"You'd what? You wouldn't have come? You could always leave."

Kendall scowled. "No, I can't. Look, it might not have been the smartest thing my sister has ever done, but she meant well. She just wants us to be friends again and she went to a lot of trouble to cook the meal tonight, so no, I can't just leave. I wouldn't do that to her even though I want to strangle her. It's only dinner for Chrissake. Can't we just eat it and at least _try _to be civil to one another?"

James shrugged. "I don't suppose I have any choice."

Kendall pushed off the wall and crossed the room until he stood in front of James. "You always have a choice, James, but I'd really like it if you stayed."

"Why?"

Kendall was tempted to give a cop-out answer.

He could have said he didn't want to hurt his sister's feelings, but even though that was partly the truth, it wasn't the whole truth and Kendall didn't want to lie to James, even if it was a lie by omission.

"Because I'd like it if we could be friends again, too." He said, holding James' gaze. "Now that we're both here, can we try to get along? _Please_?"

They stared at one another for what felt an eternity but couldn't have been more than ten seconds. James tore his gaze away and Kendall saw him swallow before he answered.

"Fine."

Kendall nodded, relieved. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Beer's fine."

Kendall nodded and went to retrieve two beers from the kitchen. He took a deep breath before he re-entered the room and handed one of the beers to James.

"Here you go."

James took the beer and lifted it in a silent 'thank you'. The minutes ticked on while they both drank their beer in silence. Kendall wanted to say something to lift the unease, but he didn't think James would appreciate small talk so he stayed silent and continued to drink his beer.

Much to Kendall's surprise, it was James that finally broke the silence.

"What are we doing here, Kendall?"

When Kendall looked up and saw the raw emotion that could only have been anger in James' eyes, it felt like a punch to the gut.

"What do you mean?"

"This...us…" James said, waving a hand between them. "You think a shared beer is going to erase everything that's happened between us? You think that's all it takes?"

Kendall sighed and lowered his eyes.

"Whatever you might think, this wasn't my idea, okay? But now that we're here-"

James snorted. "Whatever. I think it's really low of you to use your sister and niece for this sorry excuse for...whatever the hell this is."

"Hey! Now wait just a damn minute. I would _never_ use either my sister or my niece just to make a damn apology. I'm perfectly capable of doing that on my own, as I think I proved earlier today. How dare you say that? You don't even know me!"

"And whose fault is that?" James snapped.

"Hey! Will you two keep the noise down? They can hear you two streets over and I've just put Hope to bed. If you don't want an irritable five-year-old and an even more irritable mommy then I suggest you cut this shit out right now!"

Kendall stared at his sister open-mouthed. Man, did she have a temper on her.

"Sorry." James mumbled.

"Uh, yeah, sorry, sis."

Katie shot daggers at them both. "Now do you think it's safe for me to go and check on the pasta or will I get back to find you've torn each other apart?"

Kendall chanced a look at James before he answered, "It's safe."

As soon as Katie left the room again, Kendall turned to James. They hadn't got off on the best foot, and he thought it would be better to get eh subject off them and onto safer ground.

"How was the meeting with your dad's lawyer?" He asked.

James' shoulders slumped.

He took another drink of his beer before he spoke. "He left me everything. The house, money, investments...everything he had came to me."

Kendall frowned. "You sound as if you didn't expect it. Who else did you think he'd leave it all to?"

"Dad and I hadn't spoken in a couple of years." James said softly. "I guess...I guess I thought he might have changed his will. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being dumb."

"You hadn't spoken?" That was news to Kendall. He'd seen James' dad several times over the years, and he'd never mentioned the fact that they'd had a falling out.

James shook his head. "No. We'd argued, but I didn't expect it to last. I always thought we'd make up, you know?"

Kendall had to swallow down a lump that had risen in his throat. "Yeah. I know exactly what you mean."

James looked up then and met Kendall's gaze. They looked at each other for a long moment and the electricity that thrummed between them was intense. Kendall had to speak, not just to fill the silence, but because he was afraid of blurting out something he might later regret.

"How come you weren't talking to your dad? What did you guys argue about?"

"I told him I was gay. I honestly thought he already knew. I mean, he was like a damn psychic or something most of the time, but it couldn't have come as more of a surprise to him. He was pissed. Said some things that…" James trailed off before shrugging. "So did I...bad things. I can't believe I'll never get the chance to tell him I'm sorry, that I didn't mean them. I was just angry, you know? I lashed out."

Kendall could relate to that. It sounded exactly like the situation between him and James. He wondered if James had made the comparison too.

"Your dad knew you loved him, James. He worshipped the ground you walked on. Always did, even though he could be a stubborn old goat sometimes."

James shook his head. "You didn't see him this time. I've never seen him so angry. He hated me for what I am."

"I think you're wrong. When I went to see him, he had nothing but praise for you. He told me all about your job and his smile when he spoke about you…" Kendall shook his head. "He was so proud of you."

The shock on James' face was clear. "When was that?"

"I spoke to him a lot over the years. The last time was just two or maybe three weeks ago."

"But we hadn't spoken in over two years."

Kendall shrugged. "He never told me that. Just said how proud of you he was."

"You said you went to see him. What did you to see him for?"

Trust James to ask the only question Kendall didn't want to answer. But there was no point in lying or trying to hide what he'd done. Kendall _couldn't _lie to James, even to save his own pride.

"I went to ask him for your address in Iowa."

James' eyebrows knitted together. "What did you want with my address?"

"I wanted your address so that I could go and see you, to apologize and to ask for your forgiveness."

James snorted. "Really? So why didn't you come?"

Kendall held James' gaze with ease. "I did."

"Bullshit." James spat.

"It's not. I came twice as a matter of fact. But when I turned up you were with your boyfriend, so I left."

James' mouth fell open, his face the picture of surprise.

"Hey guys, dinner's ready!" Katie called.

"Saved by the bell, huh?" Kendall smiled warmly at his old friend. "Come on, better get out there before Katie has a hissy fit about her food getting cold. Trust me, I've seen it before and it's not pretty."

Kendall led the way to the kitchen and James followed. Before they reached the door, James put a hand on Kendall's shoulder halting his steps.

"Thank you." He whispered.

James' hand fell to his side as Kendall turned, but their eyes remained locked.

"Your dad loved you. Don't ever doubt that."

* * *

As James shoveled the last forkful of spaghetti into his mouth, Katie poured more wine into his nearly empty glass.

He didn't usually drink when he was with company for dinner because he couldn't handle his alcohol and didn't want to make a fool of himself. But Kendall's revelation had thrown him for a loop and the wine helped calm him. He was already way over the legal limit for driving, so he knew he'd have to take a cab home and come back for his car in the morning.

Another glass wouldn't make any difference, would it?

He hadn't spoken to Kendall about what he'd told him earlier because he didn't want to discuss it in front of Katie. He couldn't believe his dad hadn't mentioned their argument and had spoke about him as though he were proud of him.

Could it really be true?

Is that what the old man had really thought of him? If so, then why had he been so damn stubborn? Why hadn't he tried to call James? Though James was hardly one to talk about being stubborn, especially with Kendall sitting across the table from him, trying his best to made amends.

James couldn't even bring himself to think about Kendall's admission. How could he have driven all the way to Des Moines, not once but _twice, _without actually telling James he was there? And why would he go to all that trouble?

He didn't understand it. Kendall must have seen him with Beau on one of the rare occasions Beau had come to his house.

What were the odds of that?

Beau hardly ever went to James' house because he'd been afraid that someone he knew would see him leaving early in the morning. Beau had cared too damn much about what people thought about him. James had once believed he could help Beau come to terms with who he was, but he realized now the man was never going to change and would probably never accept who he was.

If he was considering getting married to a woman, then he wasn't even close to that stage.

"How was the spaghetti?" Katie asked after she'd finished pouring the wine.

"It was really good." James wiped his mouth with a napkin then smiled at his host. "I had no idea you could cook so well."

"Neither did I." Kendall said, only to get a slap on the shoulder from his sister.

"I never used to cook at all." She said. "But when I had Hope I figured I should learn. I didn't want her growing up to live on takeout like I did pretty much all the way through college. I took some lessons and what do you know? Turns out I didn't suck as much as I thought I did."

"Katie's in the middle of her dissertation at the moment." Kendall said proudly.

"No kidding? You're doing a doctorate?"

"Yep, and it's kicking my ass."

James chuckled. "How do you find the time to study, take care of Hope, _and_ look after this place?"

Kendall leaned in close and James tried to ignore the heat that radiated from Kendall or how his breath fanned against James' neck.

"You forgot her part-time job at the library." He said lowly, and James nearly moaned when Kendall's low, husky voice sent shivers down his spine. "Didn't you know my sister is a machine?"

Katie let out a snort, essentially putting an end to James' thoughts about some other ways Kendall could make him moan. Jesus, he'd been having thoughts about Kendall all through dinner and the wine wasn't helping any. It was making him relax too much, making him let down his guard and Kendall was being too damn nice.

If Kendall still hated him like he had that day years ago, just after high school, James could have dealt with that, but he had no clue how to handle this new and improved Kendall.

Or was this just the old Kendall?

The one he'd grown up with.

The one he'd been friends with since the second grade. Maybe Kendall hadn't changed at all. Maybe he really had been acting out of character that day by the river, and he hadn't meant what he'd said and done. Maybe James had scared him and he'd lashed out.

But why hadn't he apologized before now? It still bothered him that Kendall hadn't had the courage to tell him he was sorry sooner, especially since he'd driven all the way up to Des Moines for that very purpose.

"Must run in the family because you work just as hard and there's no stopping Mom either." Katie said. "What about _your _job, James? Are you going straight back to work after the funeral?"

James took a sip of his wine before he spoke. "Actually, I quit my job right before I came home so I don't really have anything to go back to. Well, except for my house. I haven't decided if I'm going to go back or not."

"Really?" The tone of Kendall's voice was hopeful and his face was full of surprise. "You're thinking of staying here? For good?"

When their gazes locked, Kendall's face was covered with the hope that James had heard in his voice.

James shrugged. "It's an option. Besides, I've got to think about Dad's house now, too. It's pointless keeping both houses. Dad owned his outright, so if I'm not going to live in it, then I need to think about putting it on the market and I don't think I'm ready to make a decision like that right now."

"Well, I think you should stay." Katie said. "This is your home and you have friends here, people that care about you. You could be happy living here again. And of course, you're always welcome here anytime you want a home-cooked meal."

"You know, I'm not such a bad cook myself." James said.

Kendall's smile was bright. It caused a shiver to run the length of James' body.

"Really? Maybe I'll call on your services when I need help in the diner." Kendall teased.

James grinned. "Oh, I'm not _that _good. I can just about hold my own."

"You know, you should really listen to Katie about staying here in Providence. She's usually right."

Katie chuckled. "And don't you forget it."

When James looked down, he realized his wine glass was empty again.

_Jesus. _Just how much had he had to drink tonight? He'd lost count of the number of times Katie had topped off his glass and he was sure he'd seen her open a second bottle. She was hardly drinking herself and Kendall wasn't drinking at all.

"You don't drink?" He asked, nodding at Kendall's ice water.

"I do, but I need to be at the diner early in the morning for a delivery so I figured it would be better if I didn't drink tonight. I know what I'm like. One would have turned into two and before you know it, I'd be saying bye-bye to the delivery."

"Actually, I'm going to have to think about calling a cab or something." James looked at his watch and groaned. "It's starting to get late."

"Don't be stupid." Kendall said. "I'll drive you home."

"That's okay. I wouldn't want to bother you. I'll just call a cab and-"

"Let him drive you." Katie interrupted with a wave of her hand. "My brother lives to play the knight in shining armor, don't you, Kendall?" She added, laughing at her own joke.

Kendall scowled at his sister. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to help out a friend."

James was tempted to point out that they weren't friends anymore, but after dinner, he just didn't know if that was the truth.

Kendall did seem genuinely sorry about what had happened between them in the past, and although James could be pretty stubborn, he didn't want to hold a grudge forever. He'd done that with his dad and what had that achieved?

Life was too short-he knew that now. What would that achieve other than making him miserable?

Maybe it was time to forgive and forget. Or was that the damn alcohol talking?

Was James just setting himself up for another fall? He could try to fool himself into believing he and Kendall could just be friends, but he already knew he'd want more from the relationship than Kendall would want to give and where would that leave him?

Could he take the chance?

Was having a friendship with Kendall again that important to him?

James didn't have answers to all his questions. He thought maybe the best thing to do for his sanity would be to keep his distance, but when he looked across and took in Kendall's expectant gaze, he realized he'd already made up his mind.

He nodded his agreement to his friend's offer of a ride home.

"Thanks, I appreciate it. I'll come by in the morning to pick up my car."

Kendall's smile lit up his face and James found himself mirroring it.

"Okay, great."

"I'm going to check on Hope." Katie said, refilling James' glass. "Help yourself to more pasta, James."

"Thanks, but I can't eat another bite, I'm stuffed."

Katie shrugged. "That's okay. It won't go to waste with the human garbage disposal here."

James grinned at Kendall's expression of outrage.

"Human garbage disposal, huh?" James repeated when Katie left the room. "You know, now that I come to think about it, you always did like your food. Weren't you a little overweight in high school?" He joked.

"Shut up." Kendall retorted, but the slight curve to his mouth negated his words. "I was never overweight. Besides, I used to kick your ass in football every damn week."

James snorted. "That's hardly cause for celebration. Your mother could kick my ass in football."

"Now that's a game I'd pay money to watch."

James threw his head back and laughed and it felt...good.

It had felt like forever since he'd laughed. For a brief moment, he was able to forget his troubles and enjoy spending time with Kendall. It reminded him of when they were kids.

Kendall had been there at every important moment in James' life-be it happy or sad-especially during the sad moments. When his mom had passed away, Kendall had been by his side and had helped him through it, lifting his spirits and making him feel better. He was incredibly grateful for that and probably shouldn't have been surprised that now, when his dad had died, it was Kendall who was offering comfort and making him smile once again.

Kendall joined in the laughter, the corner of his eyes crinkling. When he met James' gaze, his smile was so mesmerizing. James didn't ever want to look away. There was suddenly no air in the room, or had he forgotten to breathe? All he knew was that Kendall was holding his gaze as if by magic-a strong yet invisible force that held them together, a bond that couldn't be broken.

James felt powerless when looking into Kendall's eyes, like he didn't have control of his own will anymore. It was Kendall's to control, but he felt oddly at ease with that.

Kendall leaned in close until his breath fanned across James' face.

"James…" He whispered hoarsely and James found himself holding his breath in anticipation. "I-"

"She's sleeping like a log." Katie said, striding into the room. "How are we doing on the wine? Shall I open another bottle?"

The spell between them broken at last, James reluctantly tore his gaze away from Kendall's face and smiled at Katie.

"Are you trying to turn me into a lush?"

Katie laughed. "Too much?"

"A little." James nodded. "I should really get going, but we'll have to do this again another night. Maybe next time you can come to my place?"

"Sounds great." Katie said cheerfully, and James returned her smile.

"Kendall?" James asked. "What do you say?"

A trace of surprise flickered across Kendall's face, but he hid it quickly, his mouth instead curving up into a wide, genuine smile. It caused his eyes to sparkle brightly and made him look like the teenager he had been when James had last seen him.

"I'd like that." Kendall's voice was thick with emotion, and it made James forget about every bad thing that had gone down between them. "Come on, I'll take you home."

James thanked Katie for dinner and placed a kiss on her cheek before following Kendall to his car.

As soon as the warm evening air hit him, James' head started to spin and his stomach churned.

He knew he'd had a lot to drink, but he didn't think he'd had too much until he'd got up and started moving around. Suddenly everything around him was spinning furiously and James had to put a hand on the wall to steady himself.

"You okay?" Kendall came back down the path to stand in front of him. His voice was thick with concern. He placed a steadying hand on James' arm and waited until James met his gaze.

Reluctantly, James lifted his head. Kendall looked incredibly handsome in the soft silver beam of the moonlight.

James grinned. "You're really hot, you know that?"

Somewhere in his gut, he thought he might regret that later, but the alcohol was making him loose-lipped.

A deep frown creased Kendall's brow and he turned his head away. The action went some way to sobering James. He took a step back and shrugged off Kendall's hand.

His friend's cold reaction wasn't what he'd expected, but he supposed he should have known better.

"You know, I think I'll just walk home. The fresh air will probably do me good." James mumbled, stumbling down the driveway past his car.

Embarrassment made him want to run away.

Kendall grabbed hold of his arm once again, but this time he held on tight when James tried to shrug him off.

"Not so fast." Kendall said. "Do you have any idea how long of a walk it is from here?"

James glowered at Kendall. "Of course I know how far it is. I grew up around here too, remember?"

"How could I forget?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" James thought he might be slurring his words, but he was past caring.

"It didn't mean anything." Kendall said. "Come on, get in the car."

James tried to move past Kendall's car, but his legs were wobbly so when Kendall led him to the passenger seat, he didn't put up too much of a fight. He didn't even object when Kendall leaned across his body to buckle him in and the intoxicating smell of Kendall's cologne fogged up his senses, making it hard to think clearly. Not that his thoughts were entirely comprehensible after the amount of alcohol he'd consumed.

Watching Kendall walk around the front of the car and slide in next to him, James shook his head incredulously.

What the hell was he doing?

He was acting like the past ten years hadn't happened. As if Kendall hadn't freaked out when he had kissed him, hadn't punched him and hadn't said all those harsh words. Kendall wanted to make amends for all that, but even if James _did _forgive him, how was he supposed to forget it?

How was he supposed to move past something like that?

There had been times throughout dinner when James thought he might be able to forgive Kendall, if not forget, but was he really capable of that?

Kendall had been the person James had trusted most in the world, but he'd abused that trust and ruined their friendship in the process. James knew he couldn't go through that again. Not after everything else he'd been through recently. He wasn't sure how he'd survive it.

Wasn't sure he had the energy to even try.

The next time he tried to focus on their surroundings, Kendall was pulling his car to a stop on the curb outside James' house and not a minute too soon. If the scenery had continued to whizz past his window for much longer, James was pretty sure he would have thrown up.

Kendall hadn't spoken a single word on the drive back to his house, not that James had tried to make conversation either. He would have given anything to know what was on Kendall's mind so that he could understand how he felt.

He turned and tried to focus on Kendall's face.

"Thanks for the lift." He slurred, grappling with the seatbelt.

What the hell?

Was it stuck?

He pulled and prodded until Kendal put him out of his misery, leaning across to unclip the belt. James ignored the effect the proximity had on his body-well, on his dick to be precise. He nodded his thanks, afraid the tone of his voice would give away his arousal, and made a couple of unsuccessful reaches for the door handle.

Kendall looked as though he was trying to hide a smirk, but thankfully he remained quiet. James finally got his hand around the handle and pulled. As soon as he made it to the front of the car, Kendall was at his side.

"This isn't a date, you know. You don't have to walk me to my damn door." James grouched and tried to shove Kendall's helping hands away.

Kendall ignored his protests, grabbed hold of his arm and held onto it while they walked the length of the path leading to James' front door. Kendall's strong, firm chest pressed up against him as he leaned in near his ear.

"Trust me, if we were on a date, I'd be doing more than walking you to your door."

"Cocky bastard." James muttered, but his treacherous cock had other ideas. It liked Kendall's words-a lot more than it should.

Kendall chuckled and kept them upright until they were standing on James' porch.

"I had no idea it would still be so easy to get a rise out of you."

"Why do you do that? Why antagonize me? What do you get out of it?"

Kendall shrugged. "I guess it's because I think you're so fucking hot when you're angry."

James opened his mouth to speak, but the words caught in his throat. He didn't know how he would have responded to that anyway.

What the hell was Kendall playing at?

He was blowing hot and cold and it was messing with James' head. Did he mean what he'd just said or was it all just a game to him, yet another way to get a rise out of him?

When Kendall stepped close, James froze, caught by Kendall's magnetic eyes. Even in the moonlight, they were so captivating. Maybe more so.

It sure as hell didn't _feel _like Kendall was playing a game. There was no way he could fake the hardness in his pants that pressed against James' own erection.

Kendall's mouth slowly lifted at the corners. His smile was simply stunning and when Kendall had it trained on James, it caused his heart to flutter like there was a hummingbird trapped in his chest.

Tension hung thick in the already heavy, muggy air.

Kendall took another step forward until he had James pressed up against the door. He placed one hand on James' shoulder and the other behind his neck, his fingers sliding into the hair there, making James shiver.

Kendall must have noticed his reaction, because his smile became positively feral.

James wanted to move away, but he felt paralyzed, frozen in place from both fear and desire.

He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to move again.

The heat from Kendall's hand seeped into the back of his neck. It felt as though his skin was sizzling, like Kendall's touch was a personal brand. All the while, their eyes were locked, lost in each other's depths.

His whole body threatened to fly apart.

"What are you doing?" He breathed, watching in awe as Kendall's lip inched closer to his own.

"Nothing that you don't want." Kendall replied hoarsely.

And then he leaned closer and crushed their mouths together.

James had anticipated the kiss, but it still stole all the breath from his lungs. He couldn't contain the low moan that escaped his throat when Kendall's tongue nudged the seam of his lips, demanding entrance.

James forgot about everything except how good Kendall's kiss made him feel. Kendall gripped his hair tighter and his cock pressed harder against James'.

Kendall kissed him as though he'd been born to do just that. His warm, wet tongue felt incredible as it explored the depths of his mouth and coaxed his own tongue into Kendall's mouth. James obliged and pretty soon he lost all control and took over the kiss, turning Kendall and pressing him back against the door, kissing him harder and with more fervor.

"Let's do this inside." James breathed against Kendall's mouth.

Pulling in a great lungful of breath, he fished the key out of his pocket and made quick work of opening the door. When he next met Kendall's gaze, the man's eyes were sparkling with amusement.

"What's so funny?"

Kendall sighed. "You have no idea how many times I've fantasized about kissing you like that. It used to be every damn day when I was sixteen. Jesus, some days it was all I could think about and, I've got to tell you, the dreams weren't nearly as good as the reality."

James felt the heat of a blush creep up his cheeks. "Let's go inside."

Kendall's smile grew wider, but he shook his head.

"Not tonight, Romeo." He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to James' lips then turned and walked back to his car. "See you tomorrow, James."

James was still standing on his porch, key in hand and mouth agape, when Kendall's car turned the corner at the end of his street. He was equal parts confused as to why he'd be seeing Kendall tomorrow, and annoyed that Kendall was leaving him hanging-or hard as a damn rock, as the case may be.

* * *

**Done! So, things are still rocky between Kames, but it seems that there may be hope yet for the pair. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed and that you all had a great weekend! The next chapter of this probably won't be up until next weekend, but there shouldn't be too long of a wait for it.**

**Until next time! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello everyone! New chapter alert! :D**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Kendall parked his car in James' driveway and climbed out.

There was a spring in his step that hadn't been there in a long time. He hadn't slept more than a couple of hours the night before, but it hadn't done him any harm. Most of the night he'd tossed and turned-his mind focused solely on that explosive kiss.

Jesus, James really knew how to kiss.

Kendall had been practically weak at the knees and it had taken all his strength to pull back and walk away from James when he'd invited him inside. His dick wanted to know what the hell he was doing turning down James' offer, but the sensible part of his brain-which had thankfully still been in control-knew that they had to take things slowly.

James had just lost his father, and Kendall didn't want to take advantage of him when he was vulnerable. So he'd pulled back, walked away and driven home with a dick that was as hard as a rock. The rest of the night he'd spent thinking about how good his mouth had felt attached to James' and how perfectly their bodies had molded together as though they were made for one another.

And when he'd finally come to his senses, all he could think about was that he'd kissed James on his porch, right out in the open where anyone could have seen. Sure it had been dark, but there were a lot of curtain-twitchers in James' part of town. What if one of them had heard his car pull up and had looked out to see who was there?

Kendall didn't want to think about what would happen if people found out he was gay. What would it mean for his business, his livelihood?

Would people even care?

Would they ostracize him the same way they had Mr. Keller, the high school teacher? Kendall couldn't take that risk. He needed to be more careful. He couldn't afford to lose his business. He'd invested everything in it.

He jogged up the driveway and knocked on the door. A moment later James appeared, looking just as sleep-deprived as Kendall had when he'd looked in the mirror that morning.

His hair was sticking up in tufts and he had lines on his face from the pillow. While Kendall watched, James rubbed his thumb and forefinger over a full day's worth of stubble on his chin. He looked good enough to eat and Kendall suppressed a groan when he felt his dick start to harden.

"Well, don't you look handsome." He commented.

Even though Kendall had been telling the truth, James must have taken it as a dig because he practically growled out his reply.

"What are _you _doing here?"

Kendall couldn't contain his grin. James wasn't getting rid of him that easily.

"Good morning to you, too. I told you I was coming by today. You got any coffee? I didn't have time to grab one at the diner after I took in the delivery. Came straight here."

He shouldered past James and headed for the kitchen.

"Hey." James protested. "Where do you think you're going?"

Kendall turned abruptly, grabbed hold of James and planted a kiss on his lips. He let go when they were both breathless then continued to the kitchen. He didn't look back to see if James was following him, but he could hear James' steps behind him on the hardwood floor. He smiled to himself.

_Better get used to it, James. I'm here to stay._

He was opening cupboards looking for cups when James finally appeared at his side, looking more composed than he had a moment before.

"Look, I don't know what you think you're playing at, but-"

"I'm not."

"Huh?"

"I'm not _playing _at anything. I was an idiot when we were in high school and I learned my lesson. I missed you, James. I missed your friendship. But I'm not prepared to settle for that now. I want more. I want to see where things go between us."

"There is no _us_." James said through clenched teeth. "Don't you get that? I think it would be better if you left."

"Better for whom?" Kendall asked. "Cause it sure as hell wouldn't be better for me, and I don't think it's what you want either."

"You don't have the first damn clue what I want!"

Kendall shrugged. "Maybe, but I know you've got a funeral to arrange and I'm going to help you do it. Anything else? We'll just have to see how it goes."

James frowned. "I don't want...I don't…"

Kendall sighed and stopped what he was doing. "Look, I know I kissed you-_twice_-but I promise I'm not going to try to rush you into anything, okay? You can take as much time as you want to figure this out. I'm not in any hurry. We need to get to know each other again and that will take time, I get that. I get that and I'll wait as long as I have to."

James let out a long, weary sounding breath. "What if I don't want to start anything with you?"

Kendall took a step closer and placed his hand under James' chin, lifting it until he met his gaze.

"If that's honestly what you want, then I'll respect it. But...I don't believe it to be true. You couldn't even look me in the eye when you asked that question." Kendall said softly before letting out a sigh. "I get that you're nervous, James. I do. And I realize that you still don't trust me, but give me some time and I'll prove to you that you _can _trust me again. You can count on me."

James opened a cupboard to his left and pulled out two cups. "Guess I don't have any choice, do I? Unless you're going to leave?"

Kendall frowned at the hopeful tone of James' voice.

"I'm afraid not."

"I didn't think so." James mumbled.

Kendall hid his grin as he started making their coffee, but they barely had any time to drink it.

Lucy was the first person to call to tell James not to bother cooking since she'd be coming over at lunchtime with a pot roast. Then three of David's friends showed up one after the other to offer their condolences.

Bad news traveled fast in their small town it seemed.

James was cordial to each of the visitors, but Kendall could tell he just wanted everyone to go away and leave him alone, himself included probably, but Kendall had no intention of leaving him alone at a time like this. No way. He knew how difficult it was coping with a parent's death, but he couldn't begin to imagine having to do that alone.

Kendall knew something about what James would be going through, even if he couldn't put himself in James' shoes exactly. When his own father had died, it had caused an ache in his heart that he wasn't sure would ever go away.

But Kendall had had the rest of his family to lean on.

His sisters and mother had been there for each other, offering the type of support that only family and close friends could provide.

James had no family left.

His grandparents had all died years ago and James was an only child like his mother before him. David had only one brother that Kendall knew of and he'd died several years ago having no children of his own.

James had no one to support him.

The realization caused a lump to rise in Kendall's throat.

Well, that wouldn't be the case any longer because Kendall sure as hell wasn't going anywhere and Katie had told him she was stopping by later so see James, too. And then there was Lucy…

Kendall didn't know Lucy very well-they hadn't spoken much in high school-but he knew Lucy had been friends with James all through college and beyond.

It was one of the things David had told him during their meetings.

Kendall sat next to James at the kitchen table throughout the visit from George Hopkins, the funeral director that had dealt with his own father's funeral. The meeting went as smoothly as could be expected. James held it together well throughout the hour-long visit, even though he'd looked pretty lost a couple of times when he'd been asked about flowers and hymns to sing at the service.

Several times Kendall had wanted to reach out and comfort James, to take hold of his hand and let him know that he wasn't alone, but he didn't know if James would appreciate the gesture in front of George. Mostly he'd been scared that George would tell people about what he'd seen and he hated himself for worrying about that when he should only be concerned about what James was going through.

James had actually relied on Kendall far more than Kendall had expected him to. He knew how stubborn James could be, but each time the director had asked a question he hadn't been able to answer, he'd turned to Kendall to seek his advice. That in and of itself give Kendall hope that maybe there was a chance for them after all.

And right then he'd take all the hope he could get.

As promised, Lucy came by with a pot roast that would put his own mother's to shame. Lucy had raised a curious eyebrow at Kendall when he'd answered the door, but she hadn't commented...yet.

He supposed she was waiting for the right moment.

Lucy had been openly friendly towards him, but he could sense her unease with his reappearance into James' life.

He couldn't blame her for it, either.

She was evidently protective of James and he had to respect her for her loyalty.

He was loath to admit that Lucy and James' close relationship made him feel jealous, but he hid it as best he could.

He knew he didn't have a right to feel that way-not really.

The distance between him and James was entirely of his own doing and he knew it.

They'd just finished eating and James had gone to answer the door to yet another visitor when Lucy cracked, finally speaking her mind.

"What are your intentions towards James?" She asked, pinning him in place with a steely gaze.

Kendall nearly choked on a piece of carrot. "My _intentions_? What are we, in the fifties?"

Lucy leaned back in her chair and took a sip of water. She didn't reply, but her cool gaze never left Kendall's face.

He sighed. "Look, I just want to make things right between us. I want us to be friends again. That's it."

Lucy snorted. "_Friends_? Don't give me that load of crap. I've seen the way you've been looking at him all through lunch. I'd say you want to be a hell of a lot more than just friends."

Kendall's ears started to get hot and he only hoped the embarrassment didn't show in his cheeks. Other than James, his sister was the only person he'd told he was gay, and that was only because she'd already figured it out and grilled him about it repeatedly before he'd caved.

Admitting his feelings to Lucy felt no easier.

He took a deep breath before nodding his head.

"Gaining James' trust is important to me. I'd do anything for our friendship to get back to the way it used to be. But I can't lie and say I wouldn't like more. I would."

"So you _are _gay?" Lucy came right out and asked. "Even though you broke James' nose for kissing you back in high school?"

Kendall had to swallow down the bile that rose in his throat. He knew that he had punched James hard enough for him to start bleeding, but…

"I broke his nose?"

"I see that came as a shock."

"Christ, why didn't he say anything?"

Lucy's eyebrows lifted almost comically.

Kendall might have laughed if his stomach wasn't tied tightly in knots.

Right.

Why the hell would James have told him anything? If their positions had been reversed, Kendall wouldn't have said anything to James either. He'd have been too embarrassed. Pride was as important to James as it would be to anybody.

"Well?" Lucy prompted. "You didn't answer my question."

Kendall knew it was now or never.

He might not have told people he was gay, but he'd never lied about his sexuality either.

He didn't want to start now.

"Yes." He replied, finally finding the strength from somewhere within to say the words out loud. "I'm gay."

A loud gasp caught both his and Lucy's attention and when Kendall's head automatically turned to the sound, he saw his mother standing at the doorway, eyes wide in disbelief and a hand covering her mouth.

Kendall's stomach lurched. Well, that sure settled the argument with Katie about whether or not his mother knew. He got up from his chair and crossed the room until he was standing in front of her.

"Mom?"

His mother dropped her hand and turned to James who stood next to her holding what appeared to be some sort of pie.

"I can't stay or I'll be late for my shift at the hospital." She said. "But I just wanted to bring you something to make sure you were eating."

"Uh, this was really nice of you." James said somewhat awkwardly. "I appreciate you thinking of me. This is...great."

Kendall's mother waved off James' gratitude and turned to leave. She paused on her way back to the front door.

"Will you let me know when the funeral is?"

"Of course." James replied.

She nodded and let herself out of the door without as much as a glance in Kendall's direction.

He scrubbed a hand over his face then met James' gaze.

"Do you think I should go after her?"

"I don't know. Maybe it would best to give her a little time. Let her calm down and process."

Kendall nodded. "Right."

"So...you're not actually out?" James asked.

There was something that looked a lot like disappointment in his eyes, and the expression made Kendall feel even worse than he already did.

"Not to anyone?" James added.

Kendall lowered his head.

"No." He said quietly. "I'm not out."

"Well, at least she didn't rant and yell." Lucy said. "That has to count for something, right?"

"I think I would have preferred it if she had. To just say nothing?" Kendall shook his head. "She's been mad at me before, but she's never ignored me like that, not ever."

James put the pie down on the kitchen counter then placed a comforting hand on Kendall's shoulder.

"She'll come around." He said, sounding a hundred times more confident than Kendall felt.

He tried to smile, but he was sure it came off as more of a grimace.

Kendall knew better than anyone that wasn't always the case. Sometimes people took their hurt and anger to the grave. He hoped that wouldn't be something that his mom would ever do, but she'd just proved to him that he maybe didn't know her as well as he thought he did.

He couldn't bear for her to never speak to him again.

"Yeah." He said in response, trying to inject as much optimism into his voice as possible. "She'll come around."

If he said it enough times in his mind, he might even start to believe it.

* * *

James parked his car next to Kendall's and killed the engine.

He still couldn't believe he'd agreed to meet Kendall at their spot by the river.

Was he insane? Just what the hell did he think he was doing? This couldn't lead to anything good, but James hadn't been able to turn Kendall down when he'd asked. He'd been willing to do whatever the hell Kendall wanted, no questions asked, just like when they were kids.

His head was filled with Kendall.

James wasn't sure what bothered him more, the fact that Kendall was the first face in his mind's eye when he woke up in the morning, or that he wished it was Kendall's _actual_ face he saw when he awoke.

Either scenario could only lead to heartbreak.

He locked the car then followed the familiar path through the trees until he reached the clearing.

Kendall was already there. He had a red-checkered blanket spread out on the ground near their rock and a delicious smelling picnic lay in the middle. It looked wonderful, but James couldn't work out why Kendall was trying so hard.

What did he hope to achieve?

Was this just an innocent step towards rebuilding their friendship, or was this Kendall's way of seducing him? Even as the thought entered his head it sent a shiver of anticipation down James' spine. Did he want to be seduced?

Hell yeah he did.

Even though he knew he shouldn't.

"Hey, you made it."

Kendall stood up and rubbed his hands down the front of his jeans and James was able to get a good look at him.

Kendall was dressed in a plain blue T-shirt and black jeans that fit snugly over his hips. He looked hot as hell and James knew that was without even trying. His blond hair was cut just long enough to frame his eyes. James' breathing came faster and his heart sped up in his chest.

"I got Camille to cover at the diner for me and I made us lunch." Kendall said, motioning to the spread laid out before them. "I thought you might like to get out of the house and enjoy the sunshine for a while."

James chewed on his bottom lip, feeling suddenly incredibly nervous.

"Uh, thanks. You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble."

"It was no trouble. Come and sit down."

James hesitated for a few moments until he saw the look of nervous expectation on Kendall's face, which no doubt mirrored his own. He decided to put him out of his misery. He took a seat on the blanket and looked at all the food set out in front of him so that he wouldn't have to look in those eyes that had the power to see right into his very soul, or so it seemed.

"This looks great." He said, pointing at the selection of meats, cheeses, and bread. Right on cue, James' stomach grumbled loudly and Kendall chuckled.

Reaching into a small cooler, Kendall retrieved a can of soda and handed it to James. They were quiet while they ate but it was a companionable silence, it didn't feel awkward in any way.

The food, the heat from the sunshine, and the gentle sound of the water running past them went some way towards alleviating James' nerves. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, enjoying the heat of the sun as it warmed his face.

It had been a long time since he'd done this. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he took time out to relax and just...be.

When he finally opened his eyes, he caught Kendall staring at him and just like that, the spell was broken.

James looked away quickly.

What had he seen in Kendall's eyes that made him feel so damn nervous all of a sudden? He and Kendall had grown up together and James had never felt anything but completely comfortable with him when they were younger. Conversation had come easily-hell just being together had been easy-but this...this was different. This was something new and James didn't have a clue how to handle it.

So he handled it the only way he knew how-he became antagonistic.

"Why did you do all of this, Kendall? What did you hope to gain?"

Kendall brushed the crumbs off his hands and frowned. "I didn't hope to gain anything. I just wanted to do something nice for you."

"But what do _you _get out of it?"

Kendall smiled wryly. "It was supposed to be the pleasure of your company, but that was before you decided to be a dick."

James sat up straighter and glared at Kendall.

He knew he was acting like a spoiled brat, but now that he'd started down this road he didn't know how to stop himself. And the anger was easier to deal with than the hurt and the grief-at least that's what he told himself when he questioned Kendall's motives.

"I'm not falling for that. What do you want from me?"

Kendall scowled. "What do you think I want, huh? What do _you _think this is all about, James? Come on, you must have some idea in that thick head of yours or you wouldn't have brought it up."

"Okay. I think you're trying to seduce me."

Kendall looked taken aback for a moment, then he threw his head back and laughed. When he next met James' gaze his shoulders were still shaking.

"That's it? _That's _what you came up with? You think this is all some elaborate plot so I can get in your pants?"

James felt his cheeks fill with heat. "Well, how the hell am I supposed to know what you want?"

Kendall sighed. "Wow. I must have hurt you pretty badly if that's all you think of me, huh?"

"I got over it." James lied.

All of the fight seemed to go out of Kendall. He hunched forward and stared at his wrung hands.

"I'm glad." He said quietly. "I wish you never had to get over anything. I wish I had never hurt you in the first place. I'm sorry, James. I'll tell you every day if I have to until you believe me."

James could see nothing but sincerity in Kendall's eyes, and it made him fold in on himself, his incomprehensible need for combat ended by Kendall's sincerity.

This wasn't a competition to see who could get one up on the other, it wasn't a battle and Kendall hadn't brought him here for anything other than an attempt at reconciliation.

It was up to James if he wanted to accept the olive branch.

James knew he was at a crossroads and there were only two paths he could choose-forgive Kendall and have the friend back that he'd missed so much over the years, or get up and walk away. He could go back to Des Moines when this was all over and not ever have to see Kendall again if he didn't want to.

But even the thought of never seeing him again caused an almighty ache in James' chest. Yes, Kendall had hurt him when they were eighteen, and hurt him badly, but how long could he keep making his old friend suffer for what he'd done?

Maybe it was time to forgive and forget. If he didn't, then he hadn't learned anything from his father's death, had he? How much would he love a chance to make things right with his dad? It was too late for that, but it wasn't too late for Kendall.

James leaned across the blanket and placed a tentative hand on Kendall's shoulder.

"You never have to say you're sorry for that again, okay? It was ten years ago. I forgive you and I think it's about time for me to forget what happened, too. Time for both of us to forget."

"Do you mean that?" The hope that surged in Kendall's eyes brought a lump to James' throat and tears began to well behind his eyes, but he kept them hidden as best he could.

"Every word."

A relieved grin tugged at Kendall's lips and the expression lifted James' spirits until he too was grinning, his heart suddenly feeling lighter.

"Let's go for a swim." Kendall said, looking down into the water. "It's a perfect day for it."

"You've got to be kidding me." James balked. "That water is freezing!"

Kendall laughed. "No, I'm not kidding. Come on, for old time's sake."

James shook his head. "I don't have anything to wear."

Kendall wiggled his eyebrows but stayed silent and James laughed.

"Naked?"

"Is there any other way to swim in the river?"

James rolled his eyes. "I guess not."

Within minutes, they had stripped off all their clothes and jumped in.

James tried his best not to look at Kendall's lean body as he got naked and waded in first, but the perfect view he got of his ass caused a low moan to rip from his throat.

Kendall must have heard because he turned and asked, "Everything okay?"

"It's cold." James replied, thinking on his feet.

The water _was _cold at first and caused goosebumps to rise on his arms, but he acclimated quickly and soon he was racing Kendall to the other side of the river.

They swam and frolicked for another twenty minutes, splashing each other and dunking each other's heads. It was the most fun James had had in a long time.

Eventually, they both made their way back to the river bank where their clothes waited for them.

Kendall was first out of the water.

"Let's dry off on our rock before we put our clothes back on." He suggested.

James nodded and followed him in his wake, liking the way Kendall had referred to it as 'our rock'. They stretched out side by side just as they had done dozens of times in their youth and closed their eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun on their bare skin.

"Mmm, I missed being here and relaxing in the sun." James said idly.

Kendall sighed. "Me too."

James opened his eyes at that comment and turned to face Kendall.

"What do you mean? Didn't you ever come out here in the last ten years?"

Kendall shook his head. "Never. I couldn't face seeing the place when you were gone. Besides, it wouldn't have been the same without you."

James didn't know what to say to that, so he didn't say anything. There was nothing he could say that would have sounded right anyway.

"I didn't just miss this, you know. Lying here in the sun, I mean. I missed doing it without you."

When James turned his head again, Kendall was looking his way, his head just inches away, their lips within kissing distance.

James forgot how to breathe.

Common sense told him to turn away, but Kendall's eyes were locked onto his, holding him there like they were the most powerful magnet. And then it was Kendall that was leaning forward and closing the distance between them until their lips met.

The kiss was soft and tentative at first-the faintest brush of soft flesh against flesh, but then Kendall pressed harder, his tongue appearing between them and sliding against James' lips, asking to be let in.

James could do nothing but open up and invite Kendall inside.

Kendall fisted his hand in James' hair and pulled him closer as he deepened the kiss, his tongue doing things to his mouth that should be illegal. It was the hottest, sweetest kiss that James had ever known.

It was pretty much perfect. When Kendall finally pulled back to lay his forehead against James', he was breathing heavily.

"_That _should have been our first kiss when we were eighteen." Kendall whispered against James' lips. "That was exactly how it felt for me the first time, but I got scared."

James shook his head. "I told you, you don't need to apologize to me again."

"I'm not, but I...I'd like to explain."

Kendall took his hand from James' head and moved back, widening the distance between their bodies. He looked down and James couldn't help but follow his gaze until he was looking at Kendall's hard cock sitting proudly against his hip.

James stifled a moan.

"You see what you do to me?" Kendall asked, smiling almost shyly. "The same thing happened the first time you kissed me, and it scared the shit out of me. I was convinced the kiss was just a spur of the moment thing for you. I thought you'd regret it as soon as you came to your senses and then you'd look down and see how hard the kiss made me and you'd know I was gay."

Kendall shook his head before continuing.

"I thought you'd think there was something wrong with me. So I lashed out before that could happen." Kendall sighed. "I was stupid. But the worst thing I did was not swallowing my pride and apologizing to you sooner. I should have explained all of this ten years ago. Then maybe we wouldn't have wasted so much time."

"The important thing is that we don't waste any more time." James said. "If this is really what we both want, then...I'd like to see where things go between us."

Kendall looked up and met James' gaze and a smile tugged the corner of his lips.

"Do you have any idea how happy you just made me?"

James grinned and his gaze slid down Kendall's body to come to rest on his rather impressive erection.

"Is that a trick question?"

Kendall cocked a brow. "Seal the deal with a kiss?"

"God, yes."

The second time their mouths came together, the kiss was more frantic than the first-a blur of teeth and tongue and a battle for dominance that left James full of need, his cock aching between his legs.

Their chests pressed together first, then stomachs met and then-oh sweet God-their hard, insistent cocks rubbed against each other deliciously. James gasped into the kiss, his hands coming up to fist in Kendall's hair.

"Jesus, touch me, Kendall. Please."

Kendall growled and pushed James over until he lay flat on his back, Kendall's lean, hard body covering his. The weight of him felt just right. Water dripped down from Kendall's hair, but James ignored it and concentrated instead on the stunning green eyes that were looking deeply into his.

Kendall reached a hand between them and slid it around James' cock, his thumb brushing over the sensitive nerve endings under the head. James slammed his head back against the rock, his back arching, all the breath in his lungs gone.

"Oh God." James breathed. "I need more."

Kendall made a strangled-sounding moan and tightened his fist around James' cock. Just when James thought he would go out of his mind with need, Kendall started stroking, keeping the firm grip that James liked so damn much.

James slid his hands around Kendall's hips, his fingers biting into flesh, clutching hard enough to leave a mark.

"Kendall!" James was close, right on the edge of coming. Another couple of strokes would be all it took.

But he wanted Kendall there with him when he fell into the abyss.

With much effort, James removed one of his hands from Kendall's hip and brought it between them, his fingers tangling with Kendall's as he reached for his cock.

Kendall let out a low hiss as soon as James' fingers came into contact with his hard length, then Kendall's grip tightened when he threw his head back and wailed out James' name.

James felt the warm, wet evidence of Kendall's release on his hand and stomach and it pushed him over the edge.

Kendall's tugs grew erratic with his own release, but it didn't matter, James was already there.

As the sensations overwhelmed his body, he let out a choking sob, clenched every muscle in his body and came with a loud roar.

Kendall grunted and fell forward, his hands braced on the rock on either side of James' head. Despite the look of sated exhaustion, there was laughter in his eyes.

"Or we could seal the deal with a handjob." He joked.

James should his head, his lips tugging up as if on their own accord.

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Whatever you want." Kendall replied easily. "Repeatedly."

* * *

**Done! So, it looks like Kendall's mom knows now, but it doesn't look like she took the news well. And Kames seem to be back on track and are trying to work things out.**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter won't be up until later in the week, next weekend at the very latest.**

**Until then! :)**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello again everyone! A new chapter is here! :D**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to XxxAnimaniacxxX, winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"This is Lizzie, she likes chocolate." Hope said, straightening out the ball gown on a much-played-with Barbie. She thrust the doll to James and picked up another.

Kendall turned to gauge James' reaction.

He had a bemused look on his face, but Kendall couldn't blame him. Both of Kendall's sisters had kids, so he'd had several years to get used to children and their tireless games, but James had been thrown in at the deep end. Despite being way out of his element, he was taking Hope's unwavering attention in stride.

"Does she?" James asked. "I hope you've told her too much chocolate is bad for her."

Hope cocked her head to the side.

"I've tried, but I don't think she believes me." She said in the high-pitched voice Kendall had always found endearing. "Maybe if _you _told her."

Kendall chuckled as James lifted the doll and waggled his finger in front of her face.

"If you eat any more chocolate and lose that smoking hot body of yours, you're going to regret it." He said.

Hope giggled and Kendall snorted, nearly choking on his pretend cup of tea.

"Should it bother me that you're noticing the figure of a female doll?"

James grinned. "Anything to keep you on your toes."

It was good to see James smile.

Kendall knew how much losing his father was weighing on James and, although he was putting on a brave face, he had to be hurting. James and his father had had a good relationship once, right up into the time David had lost his wife.

As overbearing as she could be, James' mom had been a warm, caring woman who was full of love. It flowed out of her every pore, consuming everything in its path. David never did recover from her death. It seemed as if he didn't know how to cope without her and had no interest in learning how.

The funeral was taking place in three days. Kendall had been doing his best to keep James occupied in the week up until the big day so he wouldn't dwell on what was coming. Katie had gone on another date and Kendall had roped James into babysitting with him, although from the look on his face, he didn't seem to mind at all.

While Hope was rummaging through her toy chest trying to find a new outfit for one of her dolls, Kendall reached out and put a hand on James' knee.

"You're good with kids." He said, nodding to Hope. "Did you ever think about having any of your own?"

James shook his head. "Not really. I mean, I like kids. I just never thought I'd get the opportunity. You?"

"Same, I guess. Providence isn't exactly the type of place you could adopt and raise kids, you know?"

"Why not? It's as good a place as any."

Kendall snorted. "You haven't lived here in the past ten years."

James furrowed his brow. "What do you mean? What's wrong with it here?"

Kendall chose his words carefully. "There's nothing _wrong_ with it, exactly. There are just some people that wouldn't approve, and they'd be very vocal about it, too. They could make life difficult."

James gave him a wry smile. "And it's obvious _you _haven't lived anywhere _but _Providence for any length of time. Those people are everywhere, Kendall. There are always going to be people who don't approve of what you do. There's not really any escaping them." James shrugged. "It's up to you if you choose to pay attention to them or not. I never did."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It's not. But then, nothing that's worth anything in life comes easy."

"You sound like one of those positive thinking gurus. Is there something I should know about you?" Kendall teased.

James turned his face away quickly, but not before Kendall saw the hint of a blush spread across his cheeks.

"Oh, God. Please don't tell me I'm dating one of those. I don't think I can stand to be woken up at stupid o'clock in the morning to do a hundred push-ups and then go for a ten-mile run."

"Shut up." James muttered. "I'm not _that _bad. I just might have taken a positive thinking course. Or two."

Kendall threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, God help me. He's going to try and convert me to the dark side."

James grinned. "There are worst things than having a positive outlook on life, you know."

"I'm sure." Kendall replied, still smiling. "I just can't think of any right now."

James shook his head, but, just like Kendall had planned, he had a smile on his face a mile wide. God, he loved to see James smile. He'd give anything to keep the expression on James' lips, anything at all.

"Are you gay?" Hope asked James.

The question evidently caught James off guard because he shot a panicked look at Kendall, who had to fight to suppress his amusement. He knew he should help James out, but this was too much fun.

He loved that a five-year-old had the ability to render James speechless.

"Mommy said that Uncle Kendall is gay because he's happy and he likes to play with men." Hope clarified.

"Uh, well, if that's the criteria, I guess that makes me gay, too." James replied.

Hope nodded. "I thought so."

Kendall had to laugh at James' raised eyebrows then-he couldn't stop himself and it only took a moment before James joined in, chuckling and shaking his head.

Hope was oblivious.

She was busy pulling books and pens out of her trunk.

"Can we color now?" She asked, holding up a book.

Kendall grinned. "Why don't you ask Uncle James? Coloring is his _favorite _thing."

James grabbed the book from Hope and patted the seat next to him for her to sit down. He didn't say anything, but he shot Kendall a look that told him he was going to pay for that later.

An hour later, after many loud protests and a few tears, Kendall managed to put Hope to bed. He was exhausted. He could understand why Katie was always so tired. He wouldn't change Hope for anything, and he doubted Katie would either, but damn...five-year-olds were hard work.

When he walked back into the living room, it looked as though a bomb had gone off in there.

James was on his hands and knees picking up jigsaw pieces.

"Hey, you didn't have to clean up." He said, kneeling beside James and helping pick up the pieces. "I could have done it."

James shrugged. "It's no trouble. It gave me something to do. What's with all these toys, anyway? I thought kids these days were changed to tablets, computers, and smartphones."

"Katie doesn't like her playing with all that stuff all the time." Kendall said. "Hope does have them, but Katie limited the time she's allowed to play with them. She says those devices make children like sheep."

"I guess I can't argue with that." James said. "And I have to admit, I had fun playing with her."

Kendall's eyes sparkled with amusement. "I could tell. I'm not sure who enjoyed dolls more, her, or you."

"Smartass." James muttered. "You were up there for quite a while. Was she nagging you to let her stay up later?"

"Yeah, but I think I finally got her to go to sleep."

James shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "She certainly is a handful. I don't know how Katie copes with her full-time."

"Me either." Kendall said with a sigh. "I don't think even Katie knows how she does it. But I'd assume there's caffeine involved. Lots and lots of caffeine."

James snorted. "No doubt."

When they'd finished clearing up the room, Kendall put a large pepperoni pizza in the oven. They ate it while they watched a movie on Netflix.

After the pizza, they sat side by side on the couch, legs pressed against each other and Kendall's arm flung over James' shoulder. The smell of James' cologne was a pleasant distraction and on more than one occasion, Kendall found himself leaning in closer and inhaling the spicy scent. James didn't seem to notice and if he did, he didn't seem to mind.

As the movie progressed, he too moved closer to Kendall's side. It was good that James felt comfortable with him again. It had been beyond Kendall's wildest dreams that they would become friends again, let alone form a deeper relationship.

He couldn't have been happier.

The heat from where James' leg was pressed against his was starting to affect Kendall in ways he didn't want to be thinking about while he was babysitting Hope. But it was all he _could _think about when James' hand found his knee and his fingers started stroking lazy circles and slowly moving upwards. Kendall could feel the gentle touch even through the material of his jeans and it was driving him insane.

He finally gave up all pretense of watching the movie and grabbed James' head, pulling him closer until their lips found each other and his tongue pushed into the warm, wet confines of James' mouth. James groaned and opened up for him and pretty soon they were hot and heavy-hips thrusting and limbs tangled together.

"What was that?" James asked, pulling away from Kendall's mouth just enough for the words to be coherent.

"Huh?"

James shook his head. "Just thought I heard something, that's all."

"Was nothing." Kendall mumbled, recapturing James' lips and sliding his hand down James' toned abdomen.

The clearing of a throat near the door brought Kendall to his senses and when he pulled back from James' mouth and looked across the room, he saw his sister standing with her arms folded and an amused expression on her face. Dak Zevon stood next to her.

Kendall yelped and pushed James away.

He sprang to his feet and ran a hand through his hair.

"Uh...you're home."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Nope, I'm just a figment of your overactive imagination. Yes, I'm home. Idiot." Katie turned to Dak and nodded to Kendall. "Dak, you remember my brother and James from school?"

"Yeah, uh, hi guys." Dak said, smiling at Kendall and James in turn. "It's been a while."

"Hi, Dak." James said, stepping forward and shaking the man's hand. "Good to see you again."

"You too. And I'm sorry to hear about your father. He was a good man. Taught me everything I know. I'll be taking time off to go to the funeral, of course."

"Thanks. Are you still working at his old practice?"

Dak nodded. "Yeah, I actually bought the practice myself a couple of years ago."

"Oh...I didn't know that."

Kendall had forgotten that Dak had worked in the same practice as David before he'd retired.

"David sold the practice, but the guy he sold it to moved out of state with his family and I was interested, so…" He shrugged.

"Well, congratulations." James said. "I hope you'll be as happy there as my dad was."

"Thanks. Are you back home for good now?"

James looked at Kendall before he answered, "Yeah, I think so."

"I'm glad. Kendall, Katie tells me you bought a diner?" Dak said.

"Uh, yeah, yeah I did."

Kendall looked to his sister in the hope that she'd put him out of his misery, but he was sorely mistaken. She and James were handling the situation far better than he was. Kendall just wanted the ground to open up and swallow him where he stood.

He'd never been so embarrassed. But James had been out for years and Katie didn't have an ounce of shame in her body. She didn't get embarrassed. Ever.

"Right, well, I've got an early start tomorrow so I'd better get going." Kendall said. "James?"

James cocked his head and regarded Kendall strangely. "Uh...sure, okay. I suppose I'll see you soon, Katie. Dak, it was good to see you again. I guess I'll see you at the funeral."

Kendall had already started heading for the door.

"Uh, Kendall, have you forgotten something?" Katie asked.

Kendall spun around and stared at his sister. "What did I forget?"

Katie raised an amused eyebrow. "You remember that annoying five-year-old that flies around like a tornado, creating havoc in her path. Calls you Uncle Kendall?"

"Hope!" Kendall exclaimed.

"That'd be the one."

Thankfully, James answered for Kendall. "She was great. We played with just about every doll and game in her toy chest and we fed her too much cake. She finally crashed out after her sugar rush."

Katie laughed. "Perfect. Well, goodnight then. You'd better watch yourself, James. I might call on you again."

James gave a slight bow. "Anytime I can be of service, m'lady."

After they'd said their goodbyes, James put a hand on Kendall's lower back and led him to the front door. He waited until they were in the car before speaking.

"Wow, you were a nervous wreck in there. What was that all about?"

Kendall let out a long breath. "We just got caught kissing. My hand was down your pants."

James chuckled. "So it was. Felt good, too."

Kendall scowled. "Doesn't it bother you at all? People knowing?"

Now it was James' turn to scowl. "Why the hell should it? I've got nothing to be ashamed of. We weren't doing anything wrong back there. It was just a kiss."

"Just a kiss." Kendall repeated with a sigh.

They were silent on the drive back to James' house and even though he didn't say as much, Kendall got the impression that James was angry with him, or at least upset by his reaction back at his sister's house.

He wished he could be as open as James was about his sexuality, but he didn't know how. He'd been hiding that part of himself for so long that it felt natural to do so. He wasn't even convinced that he wanted people to know about his sexuality or his relationship with James.

What would they gain by having people know about them? And whose business was it anyway but theirs?

When Kendall turned to look at James, he felt ashamed of himself. If he hadn't been so intent on hiding the person he was all those years ago and if he hadn't been such a coward-just as he'd been tonight-he wouldn't have lost the most important person in his life.

His actions had cost him ten years without James at his side-both as his friend and as his lover.

If he didn't man up, Kendall feared the separation would be much longer the next time, quite possibly forever.

He couldn't let that happen.

If he wanted his relationship with James to work, he had to fight for it.

* * *

James closed the door and leaned his forehead against the glass panel while he tried to gather his thoughts.

It had been a long couple of days.

News of his father's death had circulated around town and his father's friends and acquaintances had dropped by in droves to pay their condolences.

James hadn't understood how the news had got around so quickly until Lucy told him she and her mom had been informing as many of David's friends as they could think of. His dad's lawyer had probably told quite a few people, too.

James had known the job had to be done, but he hadn't been looking forward to doing it, so he was grateful Lucy had taken it upon herself to make a lot of the calls for him.

They'd put their heads together to work out if there was anyone left that needed to be told and James had dutifully made the rest of the phone calls. Each call was harder than the last.

James wasn't sure how many more times he could listen to someone telling him how sorry they were.

Planning a funeral was exhausting. There was so much involved-more so than James had realized, but actually he was glad for the distraction. Keeping himself busy was the best way to keep his mind off his dad's passing.

And there was a lot to be done.

James had to admit that Kendall had been amazing throughout the entire ordeal. He couldn't have asked for a better set of friends at his side. Neither James nor Lucy had planned a funeral before, so Kendall had taken the helm. It seemed the funeral director would take care of most of the arrangements, but there were other things to consider too, like the wake.

That was the part James was least looking forward to.

Standing around talking to a bunch of near-strangers after he'd just buried his father was going to be tough, for sure, but there was no way to avoid it.

"How are you feeling?" Kendall stepped up behind James and placed a hand on his shoulder.

The gesture was comforting.

James sighed. "Holding up, I guess."

Kendall gave James' shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You're doing good, James. You're doing really good."

James turned and met his friend's gaze, and when their eyes locked, his stomach jolted.

He was getting used to having Kendall around and their renewed friendship was growing stronger by the day, but James couldn't help but feel like he was setting himself up for heartbreak.

Kendall had made it clear that he wanted a relationship with James, but the main problem was that Kendall still wasn't out of the closet.

What sort of relationship would they have?

Sure, Kendall's mom had known for a couple of days now, but that hadn't been through choice. His sister knew too, and now Dak, but it seemed Kendall had no intention of letting his sexual preference become common knowledge. If they were to try for a serious relationship, then Kendall's decisions would affect James, too.

And hadn't he just been through the exact same thing with Beau?

James didn't know if he wanted a secret relationship again. Would he constantly have to hide his feelings for Kendall? Could he ever hold his hand in public or place a kiss on his cheek? What about something as simple as a dinner date? Would Kendall mind dining in a restaurant with him or would that be too intimate? The questions were endless and went around and around in James' head until he felt dizzy from them.

He had to know where he stood.

He brushed past Kendall and strode into the living room. He waited for Kendall to follow then turned to face him.

"I've been thinking."

Kendall grinned. "Wonders will never cease."

"Smartass. How do you feel about going for dinner at that new Italian place one day after the funeral? Lucy said the food there is really good."

Kendall's smile was bright. It was the sort of smile you couldn't fake.

"Sounds great. Count me in."

"Uh, I meant just you and I."

Kendall furrowed his brow. "That's what I thought you meant."

_Damn._

Maybe James was worrying over nothing.

Beau would never have agreed to going out to dinner with him. Besides, Kendall wasn't Beau. There was a world of differences between them.

Kendall crossed the room and slid his arms around James' waist. That was another thing James was getting used to-Kendall touching him.

It was becoming as familiar to him as breathing.

Okay, so it was usually just a pat on the shoulder or a casual touch to his arm, sometimes a reassuring hand on his lower back, but that was far more than James was used to. When Kendall's touches were tender and more affectionate, they sent shivers through James' body and made him want to moan with delight.

Kendall leaned in close and brushed their lips together and the groan he'd been trying to hold in escaped his lips. He could feel Kendall smile against his mouth right before his tongue slipped out and traced the seam of James' lips. Just a few days ago, James would have resisted, but now he needed Kendall's kisses as badly as he needed air.

He opened his mouth and sighed when Kendall slid his tongue inside his mouth.

Kendall pulled him closer and as the intensity of the kiss built, Kendall ground his hips into James' with an almost desperate need.

James didn't know who moaned the loudest and he didn't care.

While they writhed against one another and the kiss became more urgent, James couldn't think of anything but the burning desire to come and to make Kendall come, too.

It was a need that overrode every other...a compulsion, even.

He wanted to be the man responsible for making Kendall fall apart. But just like every other time they'd kissed since the time by the lake, Kendall pulled away, putting space between them.

James wasn't sure what was holding Kendall back, but he hadn't been as carefree since Katie and Dak had caught them kissing the other night.

"I think we should stop." Kendall said breathlessly. "I should go home before this gets out of hand."

Just the idea of Kendall leaving made James' chest feel tight.

"Is that what you want?" He rasped.

"Hell no. But it doesn't matter what I want. It's the right thing to do."

James' gaze fell onto Kendall's kiss-swollen lips. As Kendall flicked his tongue out to wet them, James licked his own.

He was tired of holding back, tired of denying what he so desperately wanted, what it was evident they _both_ wanted. His hands came up and fisted in Kendall's hair and he took his mouth, forcing his tongue inside and making Kendall gasp.

This time, James was the one to pull back, but it was only so he could trace his tongue along Kendall's neck and nip the lobe of his ear.

"I say we forget about doing the right thing and do what we both want." He whispered into Kendall's ear.

Kendall sighed and pulled back. Again. He took a long moment to stare into James' eyes, but he must have finally seen what he wanted there because he finally relented.

"Give me a couple of minutes. I need to get something from the car."

James' heart started beating faster. "Please tell me you're getting condoms and lube."

Kendall smiled and nodded. "I picked some up from the store yesterday, but I didn't want to be so presumptuous as to bring them in with me."

James had considered buying some himself, but the stupid part of his brain had told him they didn't need them yet. That it was too soon.

Now he couldn't understand why he'd listened to that voice-the timing was perfect.

"Hurry back." He said against Kendall's lips.

While Kendall went out to the car, James ran around the house switching off lights. By the time he had finished, Kendall was waiting for him right where he'd left him.

The heat and intensity in Kendall's eyes was almost enough to make him blush.

"Let's go upstairs."

James reached for Kendall's free hand with the intention of tugging him along, but instead, Kendall pulled him close to his body, his arms circling James' waist.

"Tell me one last time that this is what you want and I won't ask again." Kendall said.

James placed a kiss against Kendall's lips and rubbed his still rock hard cock against the front of Kendall's jeans to leave him with no doubt this was what he wanted.

"Does that answer your question?"

Kendall let out a low moan. "Take me to your bed."

James didn't hesitate.

He grabbed hold of Kendall's hand and pulled him along until they eventually made it upstairs to his bedroom. They had to keep stopping on the way because Kendall would grope James' ass or pull him back for a kiss that was probably only intended to be quick, but as soon as their mouths came together they were loath to separate for even a second.

Inside James' bedroom, Kendall placed the condoms and lube on the nightstand and kicked off his shoes. James did the same. No other item of clothing was removed before Kendall grabbed hold of James' hips and pulled him hard against his body. He trailed kisses down James' neck, his tongue flicking out to tease against the sensitive skin. As Kendall's breath warmed James' neck, he slipped his fingers into James' hair and held on tight.

James was anxious to get things moving, but Kendall took his time. He nipped at James' neck, causing James to let out a low, breathless moan. When Kendall pulled back, there was a devilish smile on his lips.

_Asshole._

He knew that he was teasing James and he was clearly enjoying every second of it.

A firm hand found its way to James' straining erection and squeezed and James gasped, bucking into the touch, wanting more.

"Imagine how that's going to feel when you're naked." Kendall whispered in his ear. "My hand on your bare cock. Just like last time."

James groaned. "Jesus. Can we get naked? Like now?"

Kendall chuckled and grabbed the bottom of James' T-shirt, lifting it in one smooth movement up James' body and over his head and arms. When he removed his own shirt, James got lost for a moment in Kendall's chest and the contours of his lean stomach.

"God, you're beautiful." James breathed. "I think I could get off just from looking at you."

Kendall burst out laughing. "I hope not. I was planning on getting laid tonight."

James laughed too-relieved at the lightness of spirit he felt when he was with Kendall. Being with him didn't feel awkward in any way. It was as though it was meant to be.

That was a nice idea. He liked to believe that there was someone out there for everyone and that Kendall belonged to him and only him. But he didn't dare tell Kendall that-he had a feeling Kendall would just roll his eyes and joke about him being sentimental. He was sure he was more romantic than Kendall, who had always been more practical.

Kendall slid his hands down James' chest and stomach until he reached the buckle of his belt. He undid it deftly and slid James' pants down his hips. He was grateful for it because there didn't appear to be enough space in them anymore to accommodate James' swollen cock.

With only his briefs covering his erection, Kendall's hand stroking over the material felt incredible. His cock felt even more sensitive than it had before. The kiss that Kendall laid on him was hot as hell. When Kendall pushed his tongue into James' mouth, James returned the kiss with fervor.

Teeth clashed as their tongues fought for dominance and all the while, Kendall stroked every inch of James' exposed skin that he could reach.

When the need to breathe overrode desire, Kendall pulled back and nipped the delicate skin just below James' ear. James could do nothing but hold on for the ride. He couldn't seem to keep his hands off Kendall either, wanting to touch him everywhere at once.

Kendall kissed his way down James' throat and across his chest then took one of his nipples into his mouth. When he sucked on it lightly, it was as if an electric shock had scorched through James' body, making him arch his back in response.

Every inch of his body craved Kendall's touch, and when he thought about other places that Kendall could use his tongue, James' brain short-circuited.

He could barely think straight.

He hadn't even realized they were moving backward until his legs bumped against the base of the bed.

"Shit."

Kendall chuckled before continuing his exploration of James' body.

He moved from one nipple to the next then lower, his tongue flicking out to lick a path down James' stomach until finally, his mouth closed over the tip of James' erection, which was picking out the top of his briefs.

James cried out. The wet heat of Kendall's mouth on the head of his cock was intoxicating and sent shivers racing over his body.

It was almost too much. _Almost_.

James' hips jerk red forward involuntarily, seeking out more of the heat. The need to thrust forward until Kendall took him deeper was intense, but James held back and let Kendall move at his own pace. It took all of his willpower, but he managed to keep still as Kendall drove him crazy with need. His whole being filled with desire.

"Let's get the rest of these clothes off you, yeah?" Kendall said when he pulled back.

_Thank God._

Kendall's mouth sliding over the head of his cock felt amazing, but James needed more. He needed Kendall naked, on top of him...in him.

They each removed their own clothes. James didn't think he'd be able to take the distraction of having his hands on Kendall and from the look on his friend's face, Kendall felt the same way. It didn't take long until they were standing in front of each other, naked.

Kendall's gaze raked down James' body like a caress. It was as though he were memorizing every inch of him. James had never felt so raw and exposed, but he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

"Stunning." Kendall breathed, reaching out to stroke his fingers lightly down James' side.

It was too much for James. He couldn't have waited another moment if he'd tried.

He reached out and grabbed Kendall, tugging him close, then slanted his mouth over Kendall's and pushed his tongue forcefully inside. Kendall's body slammed into his, knocking him backwards until they were lying on the bed, their limbs tangled together.

Their kisses were hot and demanding, filled with the need of two people that had wanted each other for a long time. In the way that Kendall kissed him, he left no doubt how much he desired him.

They writhed against one another while they continued to ravage one another's mouths. Their hands learned each other's bodies while their lips and tongues learnt every inch of each other's mouth. James couldn't remember ever being so excited or ever wanting someone the way he wanted Kendall.

His need for the man lying above him, grinding into him, was all-consuming.

James wasn't sure who finally reached for the bottle of lube. He didn't know whose idea it was to lift his legs towards his chest and have Kendall's fingers enter him, but it was a damn good one.

Sweat dripped down James' forehead as Kendall stroked him in his most intimate place. James wanted to cry out from the sheer joy of it, but Kendall was keeping his mouth busy while he worked his fingers deeper inside. He stole his breath with kisses so good that they should have been illegal.

And then Kendall hit that spot inside of him that left him with no option but to pull away from Kendall's mouth and shout out his pleasure.

"God, yes!"

Kendall growled in his ear. "Jesus, please tell me you're nearly ready 'cause I'm about ready to blow here."

James laughed and nodded. "Never been more ready. Do it. Fuck me, Kendall."

The next thing James knew, Kendall's fingers disappeared and James was too damn empty. He whimpered and arched his back, lifting his ass and begging with his body for Kendall to fill him again, to take him. He grabbed his legs behind his knees and lifted them closer to his chest, exposing himself further to Kendall's watchful gaze.

The cold, wet slickness of lube-covered fingers slid over his entrance one last time before he heard the rip of foil then Kendall's cock was nudging at his entrance, asking to be let in.

James tried to relax both his body and mind as Kendall's cock pushed past the first point of resistance.

It stung a little, but soon Kendall was deeper inside and the sting lessened.

"Jesus Christ, so good. So damn good."

Kendall was babbling, sweat dripping from his forehead as he pressed in further. His arms were shaking from the control he was exerting, but all the while, his eyes never left James'.

"You okay?" He panted. "I'm not hurting you am I?"

"Hell no, you're not. It feels great."

Kendall nodded and kept pushing forward inch by inch until he finally bottomed out. He leaned forward and grinned-his eyes filled with desire and something that looked a lot like satisfaction. James was reminded of a predator that had just caught his prey and the image made him shiver.

They stayed perfectly still until they both had time to adjust to the sensation, then Kendall's eyebrows rose in question.

James nodded. "I'm good. Do it."

Kendall didn't need to be told twice.

He slid out slowly and slammed back inside. James shouted out, clutching at the sheets, desperately reaching for something to keep his grounded. Kendall thrust into him again and again with increasing speed and urgency, threatening to make him fly apart.

He wrapped his arms around James' legs, holding on as he thrust inside him. Then he shifted his weight on the mattress and the new position made him enter at a different angle until he was deeper than before and grazing James' prostate with each pass.

There seemed to be a lot of noise in the room.

Their groans and grunts rang out into the air and the cold metal bed creaked ominously in accompaniment. With every breath James took, the sweet scent of sweat and sex filled his nostrils until he was nearly dizzy from it. And underneath, the aroma of Kendall's cologne permeated James' senses so that he felt drunk on it.

Kendall set up a brutal rhythm, fucking James in earnest until James didn't know which way was up. Every time Kendall nailed his prostate, James shouted his pleasure to the heavens until he was pretty sure he was about to fall apart.

Then, as if Kendall were reading his mind, a hand encircled his cock and began to stroke with firm but insistent pulls. His thoughts spun and his heartbeat throbbed in his ears.

It was all over.

"Kendall! I can't, I…"

After two more tugs of his cock, James slammed his head back into the pillow and came.

At the same time, he was dimly aware of Kendall shouting out his name, his thrusts becoming erratic and frenzied as he too achieved his release and came inside James, filling the condom with his release.

Kendall released James' legs and leaned over him, stealing a quick, drugging kiss and with it, all the breath he had left in his lungs. James had never felt so boneless, or so sated or so completely at peace.

As Kendall finally released his mouth and collapsed on top of him, James wondered absently how he'd managed for ten years without this wonderful feeling-without Kendall.

"Jesus, James." Kendall said, bracing his arms on either side of James' head. "That was incredible. _Way _better than the fantasy."

James smiled. "You fantasized about me?"

Kendall's cheeks filled with color, but he couldn't fight the smile tugging his own lips. "Only every night since I was a teenager."

"Oh." James said, stroking his hand down Kendall's cheek. "Not much then."

Kendall chuckled and pressed another kiss to his lips. "No. Not much at all."

* * *

**Done! So it looks like things are going pretty well with Kames! For the moment, at least. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed and that you all are having a great week so far! The next chapter probably won't be up until either sometime this weekend or early next week, but there shouldn't be too long of a wait for it. **

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello again everyone! A new chapter is here! :D**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to RainbowDiamonds, winterschild11, Side1ways, and Guest for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

James barely had time to blink before the day of the funeral arrived, but he didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

On one hand, he was glad he could finally put his dad to rest and say a last goodbye to him, but he was in no way prepared to do it. Kendall, Katie, and Lucy had seen to it that he hadn't been alone for more than an hour in the days leading up to the funeral, and he couldn't express his gratitude enough.

James didn't know for sure, but he suspected Kendall and his sister had got together with Lucy behind his back and arranged it that way.

He was glad if they had.

He didn't know how he would have coped alone, but he suspected he wouldn't have done very well at all.

The only time he'd had to himself was bedtime, and even then he'd had difficulty saying goodnight to Kendall-who'd had a hell of a lot more willpower than James had. Kendall was always the one to end their heated goodbye kisses before they reached the point of no return. James hadn't expected that, but Kendall was full of surprises.

After they'd had sex for the first time, James had thought the momentum would continue, but Kendall had always been the more sensible of the two. He'd said it would be better for them to slow things down-at least until after the funeral when James had had some time to come to terms with his grief.

James thought he was doing well on that front.

The pain of losing his father was intense, but bearable. That might have been because James had, in a sense, lost his father a long time ago-since long before their argument, in fact.

His father hadn't been the same since James' mom had died. James had tried every way he could think of to help his father over the years, even suggesting he see a grief counselor to help him cope with the loss. But David had refused to admit there had been a problem-had said he was coping just fine.

But he hadn't been coping just fine.

He hadn't been coping at all.

David had been so heartsick that James had expected him to die years before he actually had. He knew people didn't actually die of a broken heart, at least that's what the medical profession would have you believe, but in the end, it was his heart that had killed him, wasn't it?

Expected or not, James still felt the loss-the grief an almost physical pain in his chest. The scariest thing was that he knew he was all alone in the world now. David had been the only family he'd had left. At least with Kendall in his life, he wouldn't feel as lonely anymore. He had Lucy too, of course-his dear friend who had already served as his savior once.

She was a constant in James' life.

Fiercely loyal and protective, she would always be there when James needed her.

As for Kendall, all the time James had spent with him in the last few days made him remember the reasons they'd been friends to begin with. They had a lot of things in common and, even though they'd both grown up so much over the last ten years and had gone on to lead somewhat different lives, that fact was still true.

They liked the same sports teams and had the same taste in music. They laughed at the same stupid jokes and enjoyed the same types of food.

Neither was a morning person.

Since James had made the decision to let go of the past, they had slipped back into their easy friendship as though it had never ended.

James was starting to get used to the idea of being in a relationship with Kendall, although he still worried about Kendall being in the closet. He hoped they wouldn't always have to hide the way they felt for one another because James didn't think he'd be able to do that forever. He didn't want to live his life as though he had some dirty little secret, when he was in no way ashamed of who he was.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

James was proud to be dating Kendall and he couldn't be more proud of the men they'd both become. There were moments where James had to pinch himself when he realized he had someone as great as Kendall to call his partner-the man he'd dreamt about as a teenager.

Kendall's mother had yet to talk to her son about what she'd overheard, and Kendall was under the impression she needed more time to get her head around what she'd learned. James was convinced she'd had more than enough time, and he'd decided to give them a nudge in the right direction.

He was going to get them together after the funeral service so they could talk it out. The fact that he was burying his father proved that life was too damn short to hold a grudge against someone you loved.

Kendall believed that his mom didn't care that he was gay, even though she'd seemed upset at first. Katie thought she was hurt because Kendall hadn't told her himself, and James had to agree with her. The way she'd found out was probably the hardest thing for her to deal with. She must have felt like she was the last person to know about what was going on in her son's life.

That would be a serious blow to any mother.

She'd always had a good relationship with Kendall. They were close-or so she must have thought-and it must have hurt like hell that Kendall had felt like he couldn't talk to her about something so important to him.

James suspected Jennifer was more upset because she hadn't suspected anything, like she should have had a sixth sense about it because he was her son. That had been one of the things his own father had said to him when James had told him he was gay. Then they'd had the argument and separation that had endured until his death. They'd said some mean things to one another during the argument and it had been the very last time James had spoken to David.

James supposed he could understand how his dad would have felt like he didn't even know him.

Maybe Jennifer felt the same way.

James adjusted his tie in the mirror for the fifth time. It hadn't moved an inch, but it was damn near choking the life out of him and there was no air in the house, either. He felt suffocated.

Kendall's face appeared in the mirror behind him and his hands came to rest on James' shoulders.

"The tie looks good, James." Kendall said with a smile that somehow managed to be filled with sadness.

James fiddled with the tie a little more, then nodded and dropped his hands. He didn't want to be a cause for concern for Kendall so he quit fiddling.

"Thanks for being here today."

Kendall furrowed his brow.

He turned James until they were face to face. "Where else would I be?"

James shrugged then dropped his gaze. "I don't know if I can do this." He said softly.

Kendall pressed a kiss against his lips. "You _can _do this. You're stronger than you think, and I'll be right beside you every step of the way, okay?"

"I know, and I'm grateful for it."

James felt as though a weight had been lifted since he'd started to put the past behind him and concentrate on the here and now. He believed that Kendall was there for him and would continue to be. He didn't know when exactly over the last few days it had happened, but he trusted Kendall implicitly now-cared about him.

Well, it was more than that if he was being honest with himself.

Kendall was starting to mean everything to him and, although he hadn't discussed his feelings, he got the impression that they were reciprocated.

He certainly hoped so.

Kendall hadn't said or done anything to make him think otherwise.

"Lucy is waiting downstairs for you." Kendall said. "Are you ready to come down?"

James nodded. "Yeah, I'll be right there. I just need another couple of minutes."

"No problem. I'll go and keep her company, leave you to it."

"Thanks." James said, his voice thick with emotion. "For everything."

Kendall patted his shoulder and left the room. James listened to his footsteps disappear down the stairs while he stared at his reflection in the mirror.

"You can do this." He said quietly to himself, repeating Kendall's words. "You've got this."

Far more people attended the funeral service than James had expected.

It seemed his father had made a lot of friends in his lifetime. Every seat in the small church had been filled with people paying their last respects. James bumbled his way through the prayers and hymns, Lucy to his right and Kendall giving him strength from the left.

It was a lovely service, simple and understated.

Just like David.

James thought his father would have approved.

People lined up outside the church to tell James how sorry they were and to talk about their memories of David.

And it seemed _everyone_ had a story to tell.

James tried to remember to invite everyone back to the house for refreshments, but he thought he might have missed a few people. Many said they couldn't make it and James was relieved. If everyone that had attended the funeral went back to his house, he wasn't sure they would all fit inside.

He needn't have worried.

Only David's closest friends and associates came back to the house after they'd laid his father to rest in the graveyard across town from the church. That part had been even harder than the church ceremony for James. Seeing his father's casket lowered into the ground had caused a stabbing pain in his chest. Tears had prickled behind his eyes, but he'd kept them at bay, holding on to his grief and swallowing it down like a bitter pill until he could no longer taste it.

When he arrived home there were a few faces that James didn't recognize, but mostly everyone that showed up were people he remembered from his youth, even if he couldn't always put a name to their face.

Cups of tea and coffee made their way around the room along with sandwiches and trays full of cake and sweet pastries. Kendall, Lucy, and Katie had taken care of all the food. James had insisted he pay them for the ingredients, but they'd shot him down flat. He'd have to think of some other way to repay them when he was actually able to think again. He'd leave it until his mind wasn't a jumble of sorrow and fear and names and faces that were all rolling into one.

As the day went on, James started to get weary. He knew people had the best of intentions, but he was tired of making small talk and just wanted the day to come to an end. He wanted to curl up on the sofa with Kendall at his side and grieve for his father in peace.

He'd have to wait a little while longer though, it seemed.

"Mr. Diamond, you mind if we have a word with you?"

When James turned, he came face to face with Mrs. McCormick and Mrs. Peters-the town gossips and the bane of his father's existence from what James could remember.

He suppressed a groan.

"Ladies." James greeted.

Mrs. Peters reached out and put a hand on James' arm.

"Hello, dear. We were so terribly sorry to hear of your father's death, weren't we, Betty?"

Betty McCormick shook her head.

"Terrible news." She agreed.

"Thank you." James replied. He looked over the sisters' shoulders to see if he could spot Kendall, but he was nowhere in the room.

"We wanted to have a chat with you about your father's responsibilities." Betty said.

May scowled at her sister.

"Betty!" She chastised. "The poor man has just buried his father. He doesn't want you bothering him today."

"I wasn't bothering him." Betty rolled her eyes, fixed her gaze on James and plowed on. "I was just curious if you'd be staying in town. Because you know your father was a very valuable member of the neighborhood watch."

That came as a surprise. "He was?"

"Well yes, dear." May answered. "For several years. You should talk to your friend. That nice young man, Kendall. He's been coming to meetings for a couple of years, too."

That was all news to James, but it certainly explained how Kendall had been having conversations with his dad about him.

"I was planning on staying in town, yes." James told the sisters. "But I hadn't thought any further than that. Everything has happened so fast, I haven't had much time to think about much of anything past today."

"Well, of course you haven't." May said. "You've had other things on your mind." She shot a dark look at her sister then patted James' arm.

Betty cleared her throat. "If you intend to take your father's place in the watch, Kendall can tell you the details of the next meeting."

James couldn't deal with this right now.

He tugged at his tie and searched the room again. He didn't care about any damn neighborhood watch and he certainly didn't want to think about taking his father's place. In anything.

His breathing sped and he pulled at his tie again.

Right before he thought he would lose it, Kendall appeared at his side and suddenly James could breathe again.

"Good afternoon, ladies. You don't mind if I steal James away from you, do you?"

"No, we-"

"Great." Kendall said, pulling James toward the kitchen. "Talk to you later."

They zigzagged through people as they made their way through the house, past the kitchen and into the backyard. It was only then that Kendall let go of James' arm.

James tried to slow his breathing.

"Thanks for that." He said. "I thought I was going to lose it back there."

Kendall shrugged. "Don't mention it. I saw you with the terrible twins and I suspected you'd need rescuing."

"You know, May isn't so bad, but her sister…" James shuddered.

"Yeah, tell me about it. She's as nervy as an army major and subtlety never was her strong point. Was she trying to rope you into something back there?"

"Neighborhood watch."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "I should have known. Sorry I didn't get to you sooner. I came as soon as I saw you."

James shrugged. "You never told me you were in the neighborhood watch program with my dad."

"I didn't realize you didn't know." Kendall replied.

"So, you spoke to my dad a lot over the past couple of years?"

"Not a lot, but yeah, we talked a bit. It was mainly neighborhood watch business, but from time to time we spoke about you."

"And he didn't once mention our argument or the fact that we hadn't spoken in so long?"

"No." Kendall shrugged. "I don't know why. Maybe he was embarrassed. Didn't want anyone to know what an idiot he'd been."

"Yeah, maybe." James muttered. "Although I was an idiot, too."

"Was the argument you guys had really that bad?"

"Yeah." James said around a sigh. "It was bad. Dad said he never wanted to see me again."

"I don't think he meant it."

"Yeah, I don't think he meant it either. Not really. At least, I hope he didn't, but it doesn't matter anymore, does it? It's too late to change anything. We both said some things to each other, things I know _I _wish I could take back. Knowing Dad, he'd want the same thing, but we were both too stubborn. Both waiting for the other to make the first move, you know?"

"I'm sure your dad knew you didn't mean the things you said. David knew you loved him."

"I sure as hell hope so, because I _did _love him." James offered a small smile. "Even though he could be a stubborn old goat."

Kendall placed his hand on James' shoulder. "He loved you too, James."

"I hope he's happy now, wherever he is. I hope he's with my mom."

"I hope so too." Kendall leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against James' lips. It was barely a whisper of flesh against flesh, but it made James instantly more relaxed. He rested his hands on Kendall's shoulders and pressed his lips against Kendall.

"Thank you." He whispered.

A loud gasp at the door had Kendall pulling back and when James looked over his shoulder, the look of horror on Betty McCormick's face made him shiver.

"I…" All of the color drained out of Kendall's cheeks and he looked as though he might throw up.

James felt for him, he really did, but it was out of his hands.

There could be no denying what they were doing-not that James would have denied anything-but the panic visible on Kendall's face said that he might have denied everything, given half the chance.

It had by no means been a passionate kiss, but it was a kiss nonetheless.

Men didn't go around kissing their platonic friends on the lips-or anywhere else for that matter.

And Betty McCormick was a lot of things, but she wasn't stupid.

Her expression hardened. "Just what is going on here?"

James opened his mouth to tell her it was none of her goddamn business when Kendall beat him to the punch.

"I was comforting James. In case you'd forgotten, he just buried his father. Is that okay with you, or do I need your permission before I kiss my boyfriend in the future?"

Kendall's words sent a thrill of excitement through James' body. He was under no illusions. He knew that given the choice, Kendall would never have come out in that way, if at all-especially to the likes of Betty McCormick-but he'd just publicly declared that they were a couple regardless.

He might have only told one person, but it was a start.

"Are you telling me you're gay?" She spluttered, staring at Kendall with a glare that would have floored a lesser man.

Okay, maybe she wasn't as bright as James had first thought.

"Yes, he is." Jennifer stood in the doorway behind Betty.

James hadn't even noticed her there until she spoke.

She winked at James then walked over to Kendall's side and took hold of his arm, showing Betty and anyone else that might have anything to say about it that Kendall was still her son and she loved him.

"Do you have a problem with that?" Jennifer asked.

Betty's mouth fell open and she stared at Jennifer, her face growing redder with every passing second. James had never seen her at a loss for words before.

It was a pleasant change.

"I think you should go inside and find your sister." Jennifer said. "She was looking under the weather when I just saw her. I think it would be best if you took her home."

Betty turned on her heel and, with a last frosty glare at each of them, she slipped back inside the house without uttering another word.

* * *

**Done! So, it looks like things are still going pretty well with Kames! We also got the return of Jennifer this chapter!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed and that you all are having a great week so far! The next chapter of this won't be up until either sometime this weekend or next week sometime.**

**Until then! **

**-Epically Obsessed**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert! :D**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**This chapter is a little shorter, but I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"Uncle Kendall!" Hope came barreling into the diner and collided into Kendall's leg.

He scooped her up, gave her a quick hug then tickled her, which had her in fits of giggles and squirming helplessly in his arms.

"No, please! Let me down!"

Kendall chuckled and finally relented, but instead of putting her back down on her feet, he sat her on one of the stools at the counter.

"Where's James?" She asked as soon as she stopped giggling.

"James is home, kiddo. I'll tell him you were asking about him, okay?"

Hope nodded. "Okay."

"What up, sis?" Kendall asked when he noticed the frown on his sister's face.

"Just what the hell do you think you're playing at?"

Kendall let out a long sigh. "What did I do now?"

"It's been two weeks since you've called. Are you trying to tell me something?"

He could always count on his sister to be melodramatic.

"I've been busy." Kendall said over his shoulder while he made them a cup of coffee. "And I've been spending a lot of time over at James' place."

"I'm not complaining about the time you spend with James. I'm happy for you both, you know that, but a five-minute phone call wouldn't hurt, you know."

Kendall tried out the puppy dog eyes that James sometimes used on him, but he didn't think it worked so well coming from him. When James gave him the look with his big, hazel eyes, it made Kendall want to fall at his feet and promise him the world. Besides, Katie had practice with the puppy dog eyes-Hope pulled them every time she was trying to get her way.

He gave up.

"Will sorry cut it?" He finally asked.

"It's a start." Katie grinned wickedly. "But a free cup of coffee might make me feel even more charitable."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Since when did you have to pay for coffee here? And the phone works both ways. You could try calling me once in a while. Besides, one of the reasons I didn't call is because you usually come in during the week. Has someone been keeping _you _busy, huh?"

Kendall chuckled when a blush spread across Katie's cheeks.

She averted her gaze.

"Ah, now it all makes perfect sense. Have you been spending more time with a certain dentist?"

"I might have been."

Hope's head had been swiveling back and forth listening to their conversation.

"Is he talking about Dak, Mommy? Dak's a dentist."

Kendall laughed and gave his sister a knowing grin. They couldn't discuss anything in Hope's presence anymore without her wanting to know exactly what the conversation was about.

Katie pinched one of Hope's cheeks.

"Yes, he is. Tell Uncle Kendall what Dak bought you."

Hope spun around on her stool so fast she nearly fell off. Katie's hand shot out and grabbed her just in time. Hope didn't even blink. Her face became animated and full of the type of excitement only a five-year-old could possess.

"He bought me a Barbie princess and a dog!"

"Wow! That's awesome, kiddo." Kendall raised a curious eyebrow at his sister. "Not a real one, right?"

Katie snorted. "No, Kendall, get with the program. A dog for Barbie."

"Gotcha. Isn't it a little soon for him to be buying gifts?"

"They weren't for me." Katie said defensively. "Not that I'd complain, but if he wants to buy Hope a gift I'm not going to stop him."

Kendall shook his head.

It sounded to him like Dak was trying to buy his way into Katie's affections and was using Hope to do it. But he knew he was being cynical and a little overprotective.

Dak was a nice guy. Maybe he was just being generous. Kendall hoped that was the case because even though Katie would never admit it, he could tell Katie liked Dak, and he could easily see her growing to love him.

He didn't exactly think it was a good idea for Dak to be seeing Hope so much yet, though. Shouldn't his sister have waited until they'd been together a little while longer before she introduced him to Hope?

What if they split up and Hope had already grown attached to him? That could really hurt her and Kendall didn't want to see that happen to his niece. But Hope was Katie's daughter, he didn't have much of a say in how she was raised. She would only tell him to butt out if he asked her about it.

Katie looked around the diner and raised a curious eyebrow.

"It's quiet in here, isn't it? What the hell happened? Have you been poisoning people with your butter cake?"

Kendall shrugged. "Just a quiet day, is all. It'll pick up."

The truth was that the diner had been quiet for a few days-ever since the funeral, in fact. Kendall didn't want to believe that Betty McCormick had had anything to do with his sudden lack of customers, but quite frankly he couldn't think of any other reason why people would be staying away.

Betty had been born to gossip, and that gossip was sometimes of a very malicious nature. Kendall wouldn't be surprised if most of the town knew about his sexual orientation by now, not to mention his relationship with James. He hadn't seen or heard a peep of Betty or her sister since the funeral, and he'd only had a handful of customers come in all day. If business stayed this quiet, he wouldn't be able to afford to stay open. He could cope with the drop in earnings for a little while, sure, but not long term.

"Has Mom called?"

Kendall placed a cup of coffee on the counter in front of his sister and a soda for Hope. He took a sip of his own coffee before replying.

"Nope."

Even though his mom had stood by his side at the funeral against Betty, they hadn't spoken since. Kendall knew they needed to sit down and talk through their problems, but his mother's actions at the funeral and her subsequent absence told Kendall she wasn't ready to forgive him for not telling her just yet.

"And it didn't cross your mind to call her?"

"Not you, too. Please, sis, I get enough nagging about this from James."

"I'm glad to hear it. I knew there was a reason I liked him. So are you going to listen to either of us for a change?"

"If Mom wants to talk to me, she'll call."

"You stubborn...Haven't you learned _anything_ from James' situation? What if something happens to Mom before the two of you make up? How would you be able to live with yourself?"

Kendall's stomach twisted at the thought. "She's not sick, is she?"

Katie's gaze was unwavering. "Why don't you ask her?"

_Brat._

"Katie!"

"No, she's not sick, but she's not a young woman anymore either. She won't be around forever, you know."

"I know that."

"Do you? Then swallow your damn pride and give her a call or you might live to regret it. Just like James has."

What Kendall didn't want to tell his sister was that he was afraid to call their mom.

He was afraid to see her. He didn't want to see the disappointment in her eyes when she looked at him-he couldn't stomach that. But he knew Katie was right. He had to make the first move. He had to be the one to apologize first and to thank her for standing by his side at the funeral. He hated that he was being such a coward.

Kendall knew how much his mother disliked Betty McCormick, even though he didn't exactly know the reason why. They'd been enemies for years although his mother wouldn't tell him what they had originally fought over. A part of him was worried that she'd only stuck up for him because she knew that it would get under Betty's skin. They were always doing things they knew would annoy the other. He didn't want to believe his mother could be that deceitful, but why hadn't she called him since the funeral?

"I'll call her later today, okay? And if she doesn't answer the damn phone, I'll go and see her after work. Happy now?"

Katie nodded. "Yep. Now you're talking like the idiot brother I know and love."

Kendall grinned wickedly at his sister before placing a menu in front of Hope. When Katie groaned, he chuckled and pointed to the triple chocolate sundae.

"Order anything you want, kiddo."

* * *

James looked at the clock on the kitchen wall as he lowered the heat on the pasta, a small smile playing on his lips.

He and Kendall had been spending more and more time together over the week since his father's funeral. Kendall had come to his house every evening after he finished his shift at the diner. They had eaten together, watched television, talked. Those quiet moments they had shared together had left James feeling content.

They were beginning to settle into a routine that seemed to suit them both. Kendall had slept over nearly every night too, and bedtime had quickly become James' favorite time of day. He tried to keep himself busy during the long days when he was alone in the house and always looked forward to Kendall's arrival, which eased his loneliness and boredom.

Although James had needed to take some time for himself, he knew he couldn't sit around the house forever. He had to go back to Iowa soon. His house was sitting empty and if he was serious about staying in Missouri and making a life for himself with Kendall, then he had to get back there to pack up his belongings and ship them home.

He'd have to meet with a realtor to put his house on the market or maybe look at renting it out. And when he got back to Missouri, he had to start looking for a job. His dad had left him some money, but James would burn through it eventually if he didn't have a wage coming in.

He couldn't afford to let that happen.

He was stirring pasta sauce when he heard the front door open and Kendall's voice sound down the hall.

"Honey, I'm home!"

Those three little words made butterflies dance in James' stomach. Did Kendall realize the effect they had on him? Kendall was able to turn James on just by walking in a room, but when he said something like that-talked about home or family without even realizing what he was saying-it made James' heart swell with happiness.

Kendall poked his head around the door and a wide grin spread across his face.

"Hey." He crossed the room and planted a kiss on James' lips. "You cooked."

"Yep. Pasta okay with you?"

"Perfect, but I thought we were going out to eat."

"Apparently the Italian place gets busy. We needed to reserve a table, so I booked one for next weekend if that's okay with you. If not, I can call and cancel."

Kendall shrugged. "Next weekend's good."

He slid his arms around James' waist until they came to rest on his stomach. James thought Kendall was just giving him a hug, but then he inched one hand up his chest, the fingertips gliding over his sensitive nipples while he moved his other hand lower, pressing it against the bulge in his pants. James gasped and automatically bucked into Kendall's hand.

All the blood in James' torso pooled south. When Kendall pinched one of his nipples and the small sting of pain left him pitifully hard and wanting.

Pressing against him from behind, Kendall let out a low moan. "God, what a great way to start the evening."

Kendall continued rubbing and stroking every inch of James while he gently rocked against him from behind, his erection was hard and insistent against James' ass. When Kendall began to nuzzle the back of his neck, it made goosebumps rise on James' arms and his head fell back and to the side instinctually, giving Kendall better access.

He gave up all pretense of stirring pasta and just enjoyed Kendall's hands on him.

"Don't you want to eat?" He asked, his voice little more than a low rasp.

He felt rather than saw Kendall's smile against his neck.

"That's what microwaves are for. Besides, I'd rather eat you."

James chuckled and turned in Kendall's arms. "Did I ever tell you I like the way you think?"

"You might have mentioned it. But you could always tell me again."

"I like…"

James didn't get any further into the sentence before Kendall tilted his head to the side and kissed him, pushing his tongue into James' mouth as though it belonged there. James wasn't sure how it happened exactly, but the next thing he knew he was lying on the kitchen floor, Kendall on top of him, grinding their hips together while they shared a hard, demanding kiss.

Kendall pulled back to catch his breath and the heated look in his eyes made James ache with need. His excitement ratcheted up a notch. Kendall held his gaze while he unbuttoned James' pants and pulled both them and his briefs roughly down his hips.

He didn't waste any time teasing.

He went straight for the prize and took James' cock in his mouth, sucking it right down to the base.

"Oh fuck." James groaned, his hips jerking upwards to meet Kendall's mouth as if of their own accord. Kendall sucked him hard, just the way he liked it, but when James' moans and whimpers got louder and more desperate, filling the quiet air around them, he backed off and lazily licked at the head with his tongue before taking James in his mouth again.

"Do they give out prizes for that?" James asked breathlessly, and Kendall had to pull back or choke when he laughed.

"Why? Would I get one?"

"Hell yeah, first goddamn place. Jesus, but you can suck cock. Drives me damn near insane."

Kendall's only response was a grin that should have been made illegal before his warm, wet tongue found the sensitive spot below James' balls and the need in James rose to epic proportions. He thought the desire he felt for Kendall was unparalleled until he looked into Kendall's eyes and saw the lust shining back at him and realized he wasn't alone in his feelings.

Not even close.

"Jesus, Kendall...Suck me, please." James couldn't stand it much longer.

But Kendall wasn't even close to being finished with him.

"Is this what you want?" Kendall asked before he took James to the back of his throat and swallowed.

James' brain short-circuited and he couldn't reply.

He was barely hanging on to his sanity.

Kendall's mouth was relentless as he slid up and down his cock. James hissed and reached down to tangle his fingers in Kendall's hair, but he tried not to pull too hard on it and resisted bucking his hips into the tight, wet heat of James' mouth. Up and down Kendall slid on his cock, increasing the pressure with every pass as he inched his fingers towards James' entrance.

When Kendall added a gentle scrape of teeth on every upstroke and swirled his tongue around the head, the tip of his finger pressing just inside his ass, it was all over for James.

"I can't last anymore, gonna come." James ground out before crying out.

James' grip in Kendall's hair tightened and he came hard, spilling his release into Kendall's mouth. Kendall swallowed it down and licked the head of his cock to capture the last few drops while James still trembled from the aftershocks. When he looked down, he realized Kendall was staring at him, his expression full of wonder.

"I'll never get tired of watching you like that." Kendall whispered.

James reached for Kendall and pulled him up for a kiss, tasting himself in Kendall's mouth. He reached a hand between them and grabbed a hold of Kendall through his jeans. Kendall gasped and bucked into the touch. When he pulled back from the kiss, James chuckled.

"Do you realize your crotch is vibrating?"

"Huh?" The dazed expression on Kendall's face only lasted for a moment before he snapped into action and pulled the phone out of his pocket to answer the call.

"Hello?" Kendall's happy expression faded while he listened to the caller. "What? Is she…?" Kendall closed his eyes and nodded his head. "Okay, thanks. I'll be right there."

He ended the call.

James reached for his hand and held it in his own. "What's wrong?"

"That was Katie." Kendall said, his voice thick with emotion. "She was calling from the hospital. It's Mom. There's something...They think it's her heart."

James squeezed Kendall's hand for reassurance even as his own stomach jolted and the vision of his dad lying cold in the hospital bed slid through his mind.

"She's going to be okay." He said quickly, but he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince, Kendall, or himself.

* * *

**Done! So, it looks like business at Kendall's diner is going downhill. How long will that last? And Jennifer is in the hospital, so definitely not an easy chapter for Kendall.**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed and that you all are having a great weekend! For those reading We're so Metal, the next chapter of that should be up tomorrow. As for this story, the next chapter will be up a little later in the week, so there won't be too long of a wait for that.**

**Until then! :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello again everyone! A new chapter is here! :D**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to Side1ways, Guest, winterschild11, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Kendall strode through the hospital corridor on autopilot. The noises that were going on around him hardly registered as he focused single-mindedly on finding his sister.

Just as he pushed through another set of swinging doors, James grabbed hold of his arm.

"Are you sure you don't want me to wait in the car? I don't know that I should be here."

Kendall frowned.

He couldn't believe he'd been such an ass.

He'd been so worried about hurrying to see his mom that he hadn't stopped to think about how difficult this would be for James. The last time he'd been to this hospital he'd been saying goodbye to his father.

"Christ, I'm sorry. Of course you should wait in the car. I didn't even think. This must be so hard for you." He sighed then scraped a hand through his hair. "Why didn't you say anything? I know you want to be here for me and I appreciate it, but...Jesus, you should have said no when I asked you to come."

James shook his head. "It is hard being back here, but that wasn't what I was talking about. I'm here for you. For as long as you need me to be. I just meant that...Well, your family will be here and I…"

Kendall frowned then reached out and cupped James' jaw. "You're my family now, too."

James heaved a sigh. "Then I'm staying right where I am. By your side."

"Kendall!"

Kendall's head swiveled when he heard his sister's voice.

"Katie, what's going on?"

She took a deep breath. "She's doing okay. She just had a bit of a scare. The doctor said she had a minor heart attack so they're keeping her in for a few days for observation. She's having thrombolysis right now."

Kendall didn't like the sound of that one bit.

"What's that?"

"It's a treatment that will dissolve the blood clots and restore the flow of blood to her heart. The doctor said she had difficulty breathing, but it was just caused by a small amount of fluid on her lungs. They've drained it and she's using an oxygen mask now." She shook her head. "It sounds scary, I know, but the doctor said there's no reason she shouldn't make a full recovery from this."

Kendall finally allowed himself to take a breath.

"She could have died." He whispered.

Katie nodded and grabbed a hold of his hand. "But she didn't and she's not going to, not yet. She's a fighter, Kendall. She just needs to slow down a bit. She can't keep going at the pace she has been, she works too damn hard. The doctor just told her the same thing and I think she's finally going to listen to his advice. This scared her, more than she'll probably admit."

"Damn well scared all of us." Kendall heaved a sigh. He gave a cursory glance down the corridor behind his sister. "Where's Hope?"

"Her father came to pick her up a while ago, but I think he's going to drop her off at his parents' place. He said he was busy."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "What, he can't look after her for one night?"

Katie shrugged. "Guess not. Hope loves her grams and gramps though, so as long she's happy…"

"How are _you_ holding up, Katie?" James asked.

"Oh, you know me-balls of steel." She joked.

Just as she intended, James chuckled, but Kendall had neither the energy nor the inclination to curve his mouth up into a smile.

He felt as if he'd aged ten years in the last hour.

"Does she…" He swallowed a couple of times then tried again. "Does she want to see me?"

His voice was barely audible over the sounds of the busy hospital.

"Of course she does. She loves you." Katie said, shaking her head. "If she wasn't in a hospital bed right now, I swear I'd knock your damn heads together. I might do it anyway."

"I've been promising the same thing." James said.

"Where's Kayla and Will?" Kendall asked, noticing his youngest sister and her husband were unaccounted for.

"They're on their way here."

Kendall nodded before asking hesitantly, "Do you think it will be all right if I go in and see her?"

Katie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Of course. She's been waiting for you. The treatment should be finished by now."

After Katie had given Kendall directions to their mother's room, he gave her a hug and left her with James. Butterflies danced in his stomach as he made his way along the corridor.

He wasn't even sure why he was so nervous.

He suspected it was partly because of the fact that he hadn't spoken to his mother since the funeral. Even though she'd stood up for him there against Betty McCormick, he was still afraid he would see disappointment in her eyes when she looked at him. But mostly he was so nervous because of what had happened to her.

It brought home how fragile life could be, how precious.

He didn't want to have to think about his mother's mortality. But having already lost his father and with James having lost both his parents, he knew the cold, hard reality.

He stopped short just inside the door to her room and sucked in a sharp breath when he caught his first glimpse of her.

Jennifer was sitting up in bed, but she had covers pulled up to her chest and she was still wearing the oxygen mask. She looked pale and more frail than Kendall had ever thought possible.

He hated seeing her like that. His mother had never been fragile-even when she was recovering from losing her husband she had seemed stronger than she did now.

Kendall's stomach roiled.

He took a deep breath and walked further into the room. His mom's head turned in his direction and a wide smile broke out across her delicate face behind the mask. The expression made her look a little better, but not much.

"Kendall," She croaked, "I'm so glad you're here."

When Kendall reached the bed, his mother held out her hand for him to take. Kendall grabbed it like it was a lifeline and held onto it gently.

"Hey, Mom. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better." She replied.

As Kendall nodded, a lump rose in his throat. "Mom, I'm so sorry for everything."

Jennifer shook her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. I was just...surprised and a little unprepared. I'm sorry. I should have handled it better."

"No, I should have told you a long time ago. Then you wouldn't have had such a shock."

His mom smiled through her mask. "Maybe. I think that's what upset me the most, the fact that you felt like you couldn't talk to me. What on earth did you think I was going to say?"

"I honestly don't know." Kendall replied quietly.

It was the truth.

He wasn't sure why he'd never told his mother. It could have been the same reason he'd never come out. Fear of rejection, maybe? Kendall didn't want to be treated like a pariah. He didn't want people he'd grown up with to suddenly turn the other way when they saw him. He didn't think he could handle people talking about him behind his back.

And what about his family? Would they suffer because of him? Would Hope get teased or bullied in school if some of the other children heard their parents speak poorly about him?

Kendall supposed the main reason he hadn't said anything was because he simply didn't like discussing his sexuality. He was an introvert at heart when it came to talking about himself, and didn't want to talk to people about what he did in bed and with whom. It would be too embarrassing.

Even though he was seeing James now and was happier than he could ever remember being, he still didn't want all the other stuff that came with it. He had no idea how he'd cope with any of it and hoped he didn't have to find out.

James on the other hand, was an open book. He liked living his life that way. He would rather live an honest life than one where he had to hide. That was great in theory, but Kendall wasn't sure the reality of it was something he was capable of. And then where would that leave things between them? Could James be truly happy with someone who basically lived their life in the shadows?

Kendall wished, not for the first time that he could be more like James. He'd give anything to have James' thick skin and to be as brave, but he supposed James hadn't always been that way. Maybe it was something that became easier with time and effort.

"I suppose it doesn't matter why you never told me now." Jennifer said. "What's done is done. I'd really like if we could put it behind us and start over."

Kendall let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"I'd like that too, Mom. More than I can say."

He was quiet for a while as he stroked his mom's hand and contemplated their conversation. After a moment, he looked up and met her gaze.

"This is my fault, isn't it? The heart attack. This happened because of me. The stress that I put you under and the-"

"No!" His mom said fiercely. She lowered her breathing mask and stared at him defiantly. "This had nothing to do with you, so don't go blaming yourself. I'm in here because I was stupid. Because I was doing too much and should have slowed down and listened to people when they told me my lifestyle wasn't the healthiest. There are lots of reasons I'm in here, and none of them have anything to do with you or the fact that you're gay. Do you understand?"

Kendall swallowed down the lump in his throat before nodding. "Yes."

"So…" Jennifer lowered her gaze and a faint blush spread across her cheeks. The addition of a little color made her look healthier. "Are you seeing anyone right now?"

Kendall felt his own cheeks start to get hot. He nodded and couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face when he thought about James.

He always had the capacity to make Kendall smile, usually without even trying. He just had to walk in a room and Kendall's heart lifted.

"Yeah, Mom. I'm seeing James."

Jennifer raised her eyebrows in surprise, but then she too smiled. "Well, I'm glad. He's such a lovely boy. And since his father's gone, he's all alone in the world."

Kendall shook his head. "Not anymore, he isn't."

Jennifer slipped the mask back over her mouth and Kendall continued to stroke the back of her hand, watching as her eyes drifted shut. When she finally fell asleep, a small smile still covered her lips. He sat with her for a while, watching her relaxed face until Kayla came and tapped him on the shoulder and pulled him up for a hug.

* * *

"Hey." James greeted brightly as he strode through the diner. Kendall was leaning against the counter, his arms folded and a faraway expression on his face. "How has your day been?"

James leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, but Kendall pushed him away and cast a panicked look around the empty diner as though James had just committed some offence that could get them both stoned.

James frowned, his stomach churning with anxiety.

The man that he got at home and the man that Kendall was in public were like two different people. He didn't recognize this Kendall, and he hated to admit that he didn't like him very much either.

For a moment he was transported back to his time with Beau when he was made to feel like he was nothing more than a dirty secret that had to be hidden out of sight.

"What the hell? There's no one in here and it's not like I got down on my knees and slid my mouth over your cock. It was a kiss on the cheek for Chrissake."

Kendall sighed. "I'm sorry, but Jesus, can't you cut me some slack? You might have been out since you were eighteen, but this is still new for me. I need some time to adjust."

"I get that, I do, but sometimes…Well, you act like you're ashamed of me. Ashamed of _us_."

"I'm not ashamed of you, James, I just…" He shook his head. "This isn't easy for me."

James tried not to let Kendall's words upset him because, despite his actions, he knew Kendall cared for him a great deal, but some things were easier said than done. For James, being with Kendall was as easy as breathing, and it stung that Kendall didn't feel the same way.

Would he ever?

The thought that Kendall might never change caused a sudden ache in James' chest that was difficult to breathe through. He quickly changed the subject to a topic that didn't have the capacity to do his heart even more damage.

"Where is everyone, anyway?" James asked as his gaze slid around the empty diner.

He'd never seen the place so quiet.

"Don't know." Kendall mumbled. "You want a cup of coffee?"

James took a seat on one of the high stools and leaned his arms on the counter. "Yes, please. How's your mom doing today?"

Kendall had left his house early that morning so that he could go by the hospital before starting his shift.

"Good. She seems to be getting better every day. The doctor said that if her progress continues, she can go home in a few days."

"I bet she can't wait to get out of there."

Kendall shook his head. "I'm not so sure. She gets lonely at home and I think she's enjoying all the attention she's getting in there. I've yet to see her on her own. Her colleagues are constantly stopping by her bedside for a chat."

"Is she going to go back to work?"

"I don't know." Kendall sighed. "She shouldn't, that's for sure. The doctor told her to take it easy, but she's so stubborn. It really is time she thought about retiring. I haven't talked with her about it because I don't want to nag her while she's lying in a hospital bed recovering from a heart attack, you know? But I'm afraid if I don't say anything, if none of us do…" Kendall shrugged. "She needs to know how we all feel about this, about how much her decision affects us, too."

"Your mother might be stubborn, but she's not stupid. If the doctor told her to take it easy, then I'm sure she'll listen to him, especially after what just happened to her."

"I hope you're right."

Kendall placed two cups of steaming hot coffee on the counter and took the stool next to James'.

"Is your sister still in town?"

Kendall took a sip of coffee before he spoke. "Yeah, Kayla's staying with Katie until the end of the week, and then Will is going to come back to take her home."

"He couldn't stay any longer himself?"

"No, he got time off work, but they thought it best if one of them was at home with Justin. They left him with Will's mom when they came up, but she's about the same age as my mom, and Justin...well, he's four. He can be a handful."

James nodded. "I can imagine. So, are you all set for the meal at the Italian place tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it." Kendall said, but he was staring into his coffee cup when he spoke and didn't look up to meet James' gaze.

James couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw Kendall's shoulders stiffen and his eyebrows pull together before his expression cleared, giving nothing further away.

* * *

Kendall and James followed the waiter to their table at the back of the restaurant.

It was a nice place. Most of the walls were exposed brick and the lighting was low, atmospheric. White linen adorned the tables and the silverware looked as though it really were made of silver.

Kendall looked down at his pale blue shirt tucked into beige pants and wished he'd put on something more formal, or at least worn a tie.

Better yet, he wished they hadn't come.

The restaurant was very nearly full and all eyes seemed to follow them to their table, or at least that's what it felt like.

James walked through the room with a confidence that radiated from him. His shoulders were squared and he was standing tall, unfazed by the occasion. He didn't seem to notice that people were watching them, and if he did, he didn't act like he cared.

They thanked the waiter then took their seats.

James was smiling bright and, even though Kendall felt nervous and on edge, he couldn't help the way that smile affected him.

It brightened everything just like a ray of sunshine breaking through rainclouds on a stormy day.

"Nice place." James commented, picking up the wine menu and scanning its contents.

"Yeah, yeah it is."

"Any idea what you'd like to drink?"

The woman on the next table caught Kendall's eye and when she glanced at James then leaned across the table to whisper something to her friend, he quickly looked away, feeling his cheeks fill with heat.

"Uh, I'll just have a beer."

"Oh." James put the wine menu down and shrugged. "Okay."

Kendall lowered his gaze and chewed on his fingernail.

This was harder than he'd anticipated. Why the hell had he agreed to come? He could feel his heart racing in his chest, feel his palms getting sweaty.

He hated that everyone was watching them.

What the hell did they find so interesting? It was only two friends having dinner together. Only they weren't _just _friends anymore, were they? And it felt like everyone knew that and was judging him for it. Maybe James wouldn't mind if they left, grabbed some takeout and stayed at home.

No. That wouldn't have been fair to James. He'd been looking forward to the dinner since they first planned it. Kendall needed to calm down, damn it. It was only dinner. They'd eat-preferably quickly, and then they could get the hell out of there.

"Is everything okay?" James asked.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?"

Kendall's reply came out snappier than he'd intended and James flinched.

"You don't seem like yourself." He said quietly.

When the waiter reappeared at their table, they ordered drinks-a bottle of beer for Kendall and a large glass of Chianti for James. As soon as he'd left, Kendall picked up his menu and scanned its contents-anything to avoid James' eye. He knew he was acting like an idiot, but he didn't know how to change.

He just didn't feel comfortable in his own skin, didn't know if he ever would.

It was a large menu and everything looked good. Kendall usually ordered ravioli when he ate in Italian restaurants, but the gnocchi sounded too good to pass up on. He was still deciding when a familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Kendall, is that you?"

When he looked up, Mr. Keller the old art teacher, was standing at their table, his floppy blond hair swishing as his head swiveled back and forth between him and James.

Kendall groaned inwardly.

He had nothing against Mr. Keller, but he...could be a bit much, and people were already staring.

Kendall cursed himself for caring so much what people thought and reached out to shake the man's hand.

"Mr. Keller, it's good to see you again. You remember James? James Diamond?"

Mr. Keller's smile got even bigger.

He reached out and shook James' hand. "Yes, yes, of course I do. It's good to see you again, James. Are you living here in Providence again or are you just visiting?"

"I've actually moved home now, sir."

Mr. Keller rolled his eyes. "We're not in high school anymore. Please, call me Dean. I'd like to introduce you to my partner, Alex. I don't know if you all remember each other."

Kendall turned and nearly choked on his surprise.

He'd known Mr. Keller had a partner in town, but he hadn't known who he was seeing. Alex Myers was a few years older than James and Kendall. He'd been on the football team in high school. He'd been Kendall's one and only hookup from Providence after having bumped into him in a bar in St. Louis. It had been a couple of years ago, and had only ever happened once, but Kendall couldn't contain his embarrassment.

Kendall could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. He squirmed in his seat, but shook Alex's hand and forced out a smile.

"Good to see you again, Alex."

Alex nodded and shook his and James' hands in turn. "You too."

"Look, we haven't ordered yet." James said. "Would you care to join us?"

Kendall nearly choked on his beer.

"Thank you for the offer." Mr. Keller replied. "But we wouldn't want to impose and this is sort of a special night for us-our anniversary. First year together. I hope you understand."

Relief rushed through Kendall and he shook his head. "No need to explain, of course we understand. And congratulations."

"Yeah, congratulations." James echoed. "That's wonderful news."

"We think so."

Kendall felt ashamed at how relieved he was when the waiter showed Mr. Keller and Alex to their own table.

How did people do this? Live out and proud and not let people's opinions affect them? More to the point, what was wrong with _him_ that he couldn't? He was happy with James, happier than he could ever remember being, so why was it so difficult to actually be seen out in public with him? Why did he feel like there was a weight pressing down on his chest making it difficult for him to breathe?

And why was the room so damn hot?

"Kendall?"

James reached across the table and grabbed Kendall's hand and before he could stop himself, Kendall snatched his hand away. When he looked up, the hurt in James' eyes stole his breath. He hated himself for putting that look on James' face, hated that he was even capable of it. He wanted to reach out to James and to reassure him that it would be okay, but he didn't want to lie.

"I…" He didn't know what he was trying to say, but whatever it might have been, he couldn't force the words out of his mouth.

James' features hardened then, and he stared at Kendall for a long moment with something that looked like resolve.

He looked tired all of a sudden-bone weary.

"I can't do this." James said, his voice raw with emotion. "I can't do this again."

Kendall wanted to ask James what he meant by that, but it was too late for questions. He could see that, could feel it all the way down to his toes.

The nervous expectation became like a lead weight in his stomach when James lifted his hand and summoned the waiter.

Oh God. This was it. This was really it, wasn't it? This was the part he'd been dreading and expecting all at the same time. This was the part where James would get up, walk away and never look back and it would be all Kendall's fucking fault.

He needed to say something, to say anything. He should get down on his knees and beg if that was what it took. Anything to get James to change his mind, to make him stay.

But he didn't say anything. He couldn't.

Kendall stared at the table, frozen in silence as James spoke to the waiter and apologized for having to leave before dinner. He remained quiet while James paid for the drinks and gave an extra-large tip for the trouble. He was quiet while James got up from the table and told him goodnight.

There was a part of Kendall that delighted in the word goodnight because it wasn't the goodbye that he expected, but as James brushed past him, the look in his eyes told Kendall the words could very well have been interchangeable.

Goodnight, goodbye, what did it matter? James could have just as easily told him to have a nice life. Either phrase would have had the same devastating effect on Kendall.

A sorrow unlike any he'd experienced took hold of him and refused to let him out of its grasp. A very small part of him was aware that he still had time to salvage his relationship. It wasn't too late yet. He could make things right. He could catch up with James and make him listen. He could beg him to understand to give him a little more time.

Maybe with a little more time…

But the lead weight in his stomach was like an anchor holding him in place, keeping him rooted firmly to the seat. What would have been the point in asking James to give him more time anyway? Would it change anything? Could Kendall _ever _change? He just wasn't sure.

He couldn't imagine ever being comfortable coming to a restaurant like this with James and holding his hand across the table, or accepting a kiss on the cheek when James came to see him in the diner.

The minutes ticked on then it _was _too late to do anything but hate himself for being afraid, for being a damn coward and for letting James down yet again.

* * *

**Done! Sooooooo...yeah, that just happened.**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed and that you all had a great weekend! The next chapter of this probably won't be up until this weekend or sometime next week, so there shouldn't be too long of a wait.**

**Until then!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello again everyone! A new chapter is here!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"You look like shit."

Kendall shrugged and avoided his sister's penetrating gaze. He'd avoided all mirrors for the past few days, but if he looked even half as bad as he felt, he figured his sister had it spot on.

"Haven't been sleeping much." He confessed.

Katie ran her finger around the rim of her glass. "Are you surprised about that? How long has it been since he left? A couple of weeks?"

_Sixteen days._

"Something like that." Kendall muttered.

"It's been a couple of weeks since you last shaved too, judging by that mess on your face."

"I thought beards were in."

Katie snorted. "Sorry, bro, you missed the boat on that one. They were in now they're back out again."

Kendall sighed.

_Sixteen days._

Had it really been sixteen whole days since James had walked out of his life? Since Kendall had _let _him?

Kendall hadn't seen James since their dinner disaster at the restaurant and he hadn't spoken to him either. Kendall had lost count of the times he'd decided to go to James' house to apologize and beg for his forgiveness. He would have given anything just to see James' face again or to feel the warmth of his body as he held him close, but each time he'd changed his mind at the last minute.

Because when all was said and done, it wouldn't have been fair to James.

It would have been a lie.

Not a lie that he was sorry-he was, more than he could vocalize. But he couldn't promise he wouldn't do it again and James deserved better than that.

He deserved someone who idolized him and wasn't afraid to show it.

It was no excuse, but Kendall had spent his entire life hiding that part of himself from the world and he was damn good at it. It had become second nature to him, and it wasn't something that he could change overnight. It didn't matter how much he wished otherwise. It was ingrained in him, practically embedded in his DNA.

He didn't _want _to be that man-he sure hadn't set out to be. But he just didn't know how to be anything else or anyone else.

One afternoon about a week ago when he'd gotten home from the diner, there had been a voicemail on his phone. He had been so caught up in his own head that he had ignored it pretty much all day. His heart had leapt when he'd first heard James' voice, but as his words had begun to sink in, Kendall had slid down the wall until he was seated on the floor, his head planted between his legs.

The deep breaths he'd sucked in had only barely stopped the feeling of sickness that was bubbling up in his chest.

"_Hey. I'm on my way back to Iowa today. I just wanted to say that...I'm really sorry that it didn't work out between us." _A sigh. _"I'm really going to miss you. Just...do me a favor and take care of yourself, Kendall."_

So that was it.

It really was over.

Kendall had listened to the message a second time and then a third. But it didn't matter how many times he played it, the outcome was always the same. James was telling him goodbye and for real this time. It wasn't said in anger or as a spur of the moment thing. This was something that James had evidently spent time thinking about.

_Sixteen days._

There had been sixteen days that had stretched out into one long nightmare of getting up and going through the motions and missing James so much he didn't know how he could live through it. And with each day that passed, Kendall had felt worse than the one that came before it.

"Why haven't you called him?"

Kendall wanted to shout and rage and scream.

_Yeah, why the fuck haven't you called him, dumbass?_

He shook his head.

"There's no point. I ruined everything. He forgave me for hurting him once before and he gave me a second chance, but I blew it. He won't be able to forgive me again."

"Are you sure about that?" Katie asked. "You know, you could always beg. It might work."

Kendall knew his sister wasn't making light of the situation, she was just trying to make him smile again, but he didn't feel capable of holding the expression on his face, let alone the sentiment behind the smile.

"No, he already gave me too many chances. He's better off without me."

"That's a load of crap, Kendall. He loves you and you love him, so how can either of you be better off apart?"

He and James had never actually said the words out loud to each other, but Kendall hadn't needed to hear them-he'd felt them. Every damn day they were together in every little thing James did. It was there, as clear and as bold as a flashing neon sign. James wore his heart on his sleeve and he displayed his feelings proudly.

Kendall wished more than anything he'd been able to do the same.

Why couldn't he?

What the hell was wrong with him that he hadn't been able to give James the one thing he'd needed more than anything else? If his relationship with James had been the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he'd thrown it away because he was too scared of what a few people around town thought of him? Well, then he didn't deserve James, did he?

"He deserves someone better than me." He said, voicing his innermost thoughts.

"Maybe he just deserves a better _you_, have you thought about that?"

Kendall stared at his sister long and hard.

He _had _thought about that. Endlessly. Matter of fact, he'd barely thought about anything else. He just wished he knew how to better himself so that he could be everything that James needed him to be.

But that was assuming James would even take him back.

It was a lot to ask.

Too much?

Kendall was about to answer his sister when the bell above the door chimed. He glanced across the room, surprised to see Jane and Brittany-the two girls that worked at the mall. They strolled in and took their usual seats near the window. Kendall hadn't seen them since before David's funeral.

He hadn't expected to see them again either.

He'd assumed they'd heard about his sexuality from Betty McCormick and didn't approve-boycotting the diner in protest. But here they were, smiling shyly and flicking their hair in their usual flirty manner.

_What the hell?_

Kendall's curiosity got the better of him.

He picked up a couple of menus and carried them across the room.

"Hello, ladies, good to see you again."

Kendall handed each of them a menu, but they shook their heads and handed them back.

"That's okay, thanks." Jane said. "We know what we want. We'll take a couple of cups of coffee and two slices of your peach and pecan pie, please."

"Sure thing. It's been a few weeks since I last saw you. You been keeping busy?"

Kendall doubted they'd admit the reason they hadn't been in, but it was worth a shot.

Brittany's face turned a fierce shade of red. "Yeah, uh, sorry we haven't been in for a while." She said quietly. "But we were taking advantage of the special offer at the new diner down the road."

Kendall cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Excuse me?"

New diner?

Jane nodded. "Haven't you heard about it? It's just around the corner from here. They opened a few weeks ago and they had a special discount offer during their first few weeks. Everything was half price. But the offer has ended now and, to tell you the truth, the food there isn't half as good as it is here. All our friends said the same thing. They're all going to come back, too."

Kendall couldn't believe what he was hearing.

_That _was the reason it had been so quiet?

Competition?

Not because of his sexuality?

He shook his head incredulously.

"I thought maybe you were staying away because you found out about my boyfriend." He blurted.

Immediately he felt his face heat with embarrassment. He couldn't quite believe the words had left his mouth, but once they were out, he couldn't take them back, and he really didn't want to. They were the truth. James _had _been his boyfriend, his partner, the love of his life. It was just a shame he hadn't been able to admit that out loud while they were together. In public, not just when they were alone.

"Huh? Your _boyfriend_? You're gay?" Brittany asked incredulously.

Kendall nodded a reply and squared his shoulders, feeling braver with every passing second.

"Yeah...yeah, I am."

He eyed the two women defiantly, daring them to say something out of line.

Jane shook her head. Kendall had expected shock, disdain even, but she was grinning broadly.

"Well, damn. It's always the good-looking guys. Typical."

Kendall snapped out of his trance while Brittany nodded her agreement.

"Right, uh, I guess I'll get your order." He mumbled, half to himself.

They were discussing the new shoe sale at the mall before he got back to his sister's side.

Katie raised an eyebrow.

"Well, at least you're admitting he's your boyfriend now." She said. "That's a start."

Kendall would have agreed if he didn't think it was too little too late.

What did it matter if he admitted it or not? It's not like James was around to hear it. He was gone and he wasn't coming back.

XxX

Kendall had been rushed off his feet all day. He'd just made himself a cup of coffee when the bell over the door chimed and in walked Betty McCormick and her sister May.

Their appearance surprised him even more than Brittany and Jane's had the week before.

Betty had made her feelings about Kendall's sexuality pretty clear at the funeral and, as the sisters were pretty much thick as thieves, he hadn't expected to see either of them again-except maybe at neighborhood watch meetings, which he'd been avoiding.

During his relationship with James, Kendall had worked himself up so much about what people thought about him, he'd envisioned receiving a cold shoulder from practically the entire town.

It was stupid, he knew that now.

He'd let his imagination run wild, but he hadn't been able to rein it in. However, in the weeks since James had left, he'd learned that actually no one in the town seemed to know about his sexuality. So Betty had obviously been keeping the information to herself, which was the biggest surprise of all.

Usually she lived to gossip.

Kendall had been making a point of telling everyone he spoke to that he was gay, just slipping it casually into the conversation whenever he got the chance. He'd reasoned with himself that it was better for people to find out from him than for them to hear it from the town gossips. That way he could gauge people's reactions when they found out, and mostly they'd been good.

He didn't know what he'd expected exactly, but it hadn't been that.

The main reason he'd been telling people was because he thought that if he could get used to saying and hearing it, he could get used to living with it. He'd found that the more he said it, the easier it became.

He didn't want to hide away anymore.

Kendall had lost the person who had meant more to him than any other because of his stupid insecurities and fears.

No more.

It might have been too late to make things right with James, but he was damn sure going to make things right with himself.

May was smiling brightly as she took her usual booth seat at the back of the diner. Betty had a scowl on her face, but that was nothing new. Kendall took a deep breath and walked to their table.

"Ladies." He greeted. "It's lovely to see you again. How have you been doing?"

"Not too good, actually." May said. "I've been a little under the weather. Ear infection. It had me out of commission for a while there, but I'm much better now."

"Glad to hear it." Kendall said.

She nodded. "The doctor said that it was probably the reason for my recent dizzy spells. That's why we haven't been in. This is my first time out of the house in over two weeks."

"Really? Well, it's good to see you back to your old self."

Yet again, Kendall was surprised to hear that the sister's absence had had nothing to do with them finding out about his sexuality.

Perhaps he should have known better, but it did make him feel like an idiot.

_Not everything in this world revolves around you, dumbass._

"How is that lovely young man of yours coping with his loss?" May asked. "I haven't seen him since the funeral. Give him our love, won't you?"

"Uh…"

_Oh God._

Kendall should have anticipated that question, but he hadn't. Not at all.

The very mention of James made his stomach lurch. He had no idea how to respond but thought it best to be honest.

"Actually, James and I are no longer together." He admitted, trying not to choke on the sorrow those words caused. "James went back to Iowa a few weeks ago."

"Oh...I'm so sorry to hear that." May said. "I hope you two can work it out. He's such a nice boy."

"A very nice boy." Betty agreed with a nod of her head.

Kendall nearly swallowed his tongue.

_What the hell? No snide remark?_

"Yeah, he is." He mumbled. "Uh, what can I get for you ladies?

"We're not here to eat." Betty straightened her shoulders and pinned Kendall in place with the cold, hard stare he was so used to seeing on her face. "We have a complaint."

When May sighed very dramatically and rolled her eyes at her sister, Kendall couldn't help the chuckle that burst from his chest.

Just what in the hell had he been so worried about for all these years?

As he stood there listening to Betty complain about his absence in the neighborhood watch meeting again, he couldn't understand why he'd let things get so out of hand. He'd blown everything up to such tremendous proportions in his mind that he'd been afraid to even walk down the street with James for fear of public scrutiny, and yet no one gave a damn what he did in his personal life, not really.

He could see that now. And he had to ask himself if he really cared what a small minority of people thought. What did a few small-minded people matter in the grand scheme of things? Surely all that mattered was him and James. The members of his family were the only people that Kendall really cared what they thought, and they all loved James. Just as he did. Just as he always had and likely always would.

Was it possible for James to forgive him?

The diner got busier as the day wore on, busier than he'd seen it in weeks in fact, but Kendall's mood darkened. The weight of what he'd done, of how royally he'd fucked everything up, pressed down on his chest until he was damn near suffocating from it.

He knew without question that James would have made him happy for the rest of his life. He thought about how James' presence alone made him smile with a joy he'd never experienced before they'd got together. He'd known something was missing in his life, he'd known he was lonely, but he'd never realized just how much of the void James had filled until he was gone.

He'd missed James when they'd parted ways at eighteen, but the way he'd felt then didn't come close to the pain in his chest that he was experiencing now.

It was debilitating. It weighed him down, sucked him into a chasm of black despair that was unrelenting in its bleakness.

He couldn't breathe in this void. And he knew the only way out, the only way to stop him suffocating, was to see James. Only he had the power to make everything right again.

If only he could find it in his heart to forgive Kendall one last time, Kendall would be everything James needed him to be and more.

James _had _to forgive him.

* * *

"Thanks again, sir. I appreciate your time and thank you for calling me personally to let me know... Absolutely, I'm looking forward to it. I'll see you then."

James hung up the call and tossed his cell phone onto the couch before slumping down onto the cushions himself. He leaned his head back, closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.

It had taken him three weeks to find a new job, but he'd finally managed it. It had better prospects than his last job _and _it paid more money

He should have been happy about that, but happiness wasn't an emotion he felt capable of right then.

_But you know how you can be happy again, don't you?_

_Don't be such a chickenshit, James. Call him._

_Tell him that you're sorry._

_Beg him to take you back._

_It might not be too late._

_Call. Him._

But what would be the point of calling? Nothing had changed. He couldn't live the way Kendall wanted to, always hiding away from the world as if he were a dirty secret.

_Maybe I _could _live like that. If it meant that I got to be with Kendall...maybe I could._

The inner debate James had been having with himself since the night he'd walked out of the restaurant raged on, driving him damn near insane.

His heart was already grieving his father's loss and the ache from losing Kendall as well just wouldn't go away.

It was a constant reminder of what he'd done. He hated himself for walking out on Kendall, but at the time, Kendall's reaction to him had felt like the last straw. The look he'd seen in Kendall's eyes as he'd snatched his hand back had been like a knife to James' already damaged heart.

However, the more he thought about it, the more he thought he'd made the biggest mistake of his life by walking away.

James was sure that Kendall cared about him, and he knew it had to be hard for someone that had been in the closet their entire life to suddenly lead an openly gay lifestyle.

Perhaps he should have been more patient. He should have cut Kendall come slack, just like he'd asked him to. Maybe Kendall had just needed more time to get used to the idea of them being together.

Why couldn't he have given him that? What would a little time have cost him? But it was pointless thinking about what might have been. And there was always a chance that he was wrong. Maybe Kendall hadn't cared about him as much as James had first thought. After all, it had been over three weeks since they'd last seen one another and Kendall hadn't even bothered to return his call, had he? He hadn't made the slightest attempt to get in touch and his silence spoke volumes.

The loud chime of James' doorbell yanked him from his thoughts and he stared in the general direction with an overwhelming sense of resignation.

"Better get this over with." He murmured.

Rising from the couch, he walked out into the hall until he was at the front door, eyeing it warily. When it rang a second time, he nearly jumped out of his damn skin. He braced himself before pulling open the door to stare at his not so welcome guest.

"Hello, Beau." He greeted. "Come on in."

As always, Beau looked like a million bucks.

His suit was crisp and ironed to within an inch of its life and his silky dark hair was immaculately groomed. He was wearing his usual confident and cheeky grin. It was the grin that had attracted James in the first place, but now James thought it just made him look arrogant and smarmy.

Maybe he'd always looked that way, but James had just never realized it before. He might only be noticing it now because he was comparing Beau to Kendall, who couldn't look arrogant or smarmy if he tried. But James didn't want to think about Kendall right then, he couldn't. He wanted to know what the hell Beau wanted and why he'd called, insisting they meet.

Beau had told him it was important.

James doubted that very much, but he'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Hey, gorgeous. I missed you." Beau said as his hand landed on James' hip and squeezed before he planted a kiss on James' cheek before he pushed past and strode into the house.

James flinched then clenched his hands into fists, swallowing down a snarky retort.

Who the hell did he think he was?

"What are you doing here, Beau?" James shut the door and followed his ex into the living room. "What do you want?"

Beau puckered his lips into a pout. "What, no kiss? Didn't you miss me? I haven't seen you for months."

James rolled his eyes. "It's been six weeks."

Beau shrugged. "Where have you been anyway?"

"I was home in Missouri. My father died."

"Oh...shit. I'm sorry to hear that. Why didn't you call me? I could have helped, I would have-"

"You broke up with me!" James fumed. "You left me for a woman, remember?"

Beau averted his gaze. "Yeah, about that...I was hasty. I think I might have made a mistake."

"You _think _you might have made a mistake?" James snorted. "You are fucking unbelievable!"

"Aww, babe. Don't be angry at me. We all make mistakes."

"Don't 'babe' me. What happened? She see through your bullshit already? Maybe she realized you only wanted to marry her for her money and connections. Is that it?"

"It wasn't like that." Beau scowled. "I liked her, we got along."

"You got along." James repeated. "Well, that's just fucking _great _then. Did you tell her that? Because I could be wrong, but I assumed people actually liked it if you were in love with them before you proposed."

"The wedding was her idea!" Beau snapped.

"So, what happened?"

Beau mumbled a reply.

He spoke so quietly that James had to step closer and ask him to repeat what he had said.

"I said she caught me with a guy." Beau said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, avoiding James' gaze.

James' mouth fell open in shock. "Excuse me?"

"But it wasn't anything serious, Jay. It was just sex."

"You were cheating on her? With a man? Just like you were cheating on me with a woman, you mean? Or were you seeing all three of us at the same time, hmm? Were there more?"

Beau shuffled from foot to foot and remained quiet. He still wouldn't look James in the eye.

"Jesus Christ, you sure do like to 'share the love'. How the hell did I not know about any of this?"

Beau shrugged. "Come on. It's not like we were serious. We made no commitment to one another. We never said we were going to be monogamous."

James shook his head. "That'll teach me not to assume, I guess. Thank God we were careful."

"I was always careful!" Beau attested. "And none of them meant anything, baby. I won't see any of them again when we get back together."

James stared at Beau incredulously.

"When we…" James couldn't even finish the sentence because it was too ludicrous to even say aloud. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Did Beau honestly believe for one second they were going to rekindle their relationship?

_What a dick! _James could feel the hysterics bubbling up in his chest and he couldn't hold it in. He threw his head back and laughed until his stomach ached and his shoulders shook and tears poured from his eyes.

When the laughter finally died down to a giggle, Beau was looking at him like he was all kinds of crazy.

He wasn't far off the mark. James certainly felt like he was losing his mind.

"What's so funny?" Beau finally asked.

"You honestly believe that I'd get back with you? What sort of weak, pathetic, sorry excuse for a man do you take me for?"

"I don't think of you like that. You're strong. Stronger than I ever was."

"That isn't saying much."

"We were good together." Bea whined. "It can be good again. We can make another go of it, build a life together. Don't you want that?"

James hated to admit that he had liked Beau once.

There was a time that he would have given anything to hear Beau say he wanted them to become more serious, to build something permanent and carve out a life together. But being with Kendall had taught James he couldn't settle for less than exactly what he wanted.

And what he wanted was to be loved, _truly _loved and to be respected. He wanted his partner to be proud to walk down the street with him, not to flinch when he touched him.

Was that too much to ask? Wasn't that what most people wanted?

Beau strode across the room and grabbed James around the shoulders.

"Think about it. Please? You and I aren't so different. Neither of us wants to be alone, and...we don't have to be. Not anymore. We have each other."

Even though he _knew _what a stupid idea that was, there was a part of James that wanted to grab the offer with both hands and not let go.

* * *

**Done! So...yeah. I wonder where things are gonna go from here. :P**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed and that you all had a great weekend! For those of you waiting for the final chapter of We're so Metal, that will be up either Wednesday or Thursday. As for this story, sadly, I believe the next chapter is the final one. That will more than likely be up early next week.**

**Until then!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hello again everyone! This chapter is a bit late, but it's finally here!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Kendall glanced at the speedometer and squeezed his foot on the accelerator.

Now that he'd made the decision to see James, he couldn't get to Iowa quick enough. His stomach felt like a hive of nervous activity and his mind was flitting between the precious images of James he'd been saving up in his mind's eye.

There was James sitting on the couch in Katie's house, laughing at something Hope had said. James, naked by the river, the sun casting a warm glow over his smooth, tan skin. James, lying on his bed, his body bathed in sweat and his head thrown back in ecstasy as he shouted Kendall's name. Every image was crystal clear, as though the man himself were sitting right next to Kendall.

When he concentrated hard enough, he could smell him, too-taste him even.

"I miss you." He breathed, the whispered words getting swallowed by the hum of the engine as the car roared along the highway.

_I miss you more than I ever thought possible._

_Please don't tell me it's too late._

_It _can't_ be too late._

It had already started to get dark by the time Kendall pulled up outside James' house, but he had driven to it on autopilot, remembered the way as clearly as if he made the journey every single day. This was the third time he'd sat in his car outside James' house, but he'd never been inside, never even walked down the narrow path past the neatly manicured lawn and stood outside James' front door.

It was ironic that, just like the two previous times he'd been here, Kendall had come to apologize, but this was the first time it felt like his entire life was riding on James' decision to forgive him or not.

He had the steering wheel in an iron-tight grasp while he psyched himself up to get out of the car and do what he'd driven just over six hours for. But while he chastised himself for being an idiot, a man whose face he vaguely remembered passed by his car and strolled up the path to James' front door. Kendall's breath caught in his throat and his stomach knotted as he watched and waited.

Was that James' ex-boyfriend?

The man pressed the doorbell and a moment later, the door opened and James' beautiful face appeared. Kendall could feel the bile rising in his throat as the man kissed James on the cheek, his hand intimately touching James' hip as he passed and made his way into the house. James closed the door behind them, and Kendall had to roll down the car window so that he could suck in some much-needed air. It didn't help. His heart hammered in his chest as he fought off a wave of sickness.

He was too late.

James had clearly moved on, or back, as the case may be. He'd got back together with his ex. Kendall could feel his heart shattering into a thousand little pieces all over again and he was taken back to the night James had walked out on him in the restaurant. He should have done something then, he should have run after James and begged James to forgive him and to give him another chance, but he hadn't. He'd waited until he'd come to the realization that he didn't want to live without James, but he'd waited too long.

James didn't want him anymore.

Eyes closed, he rested his head against the steering wheel while he breathed in slowly through his nose and out through his mouth. A part of him wanted to be angry with James for moving on so quickly.

How could he be with someone else already? Hadn't Kendall meant anything to him? But he really couldn't blame James. Maybe this man gave him what he needed. Maybe he treated him better and didn't snatch his hand away when James tried to touch him as though James had some disease he was afraid to catch.

Kendall put the car in drive and pulled away from the sidewalk.

He couldn't believe it was too late, that he wouldn't be able to share the rest of his life with James, never get to wake up next to him again or feel butterflies dance in his stomach when James smiled at him.

How had it come to this?

Kendall felt raw and exhausted. He had to fight so damn hard to stop the tears that were building behind his eyes from falling down his cheeks.

Why did he have to screw everything up?

As he drove back out towards the highway, the voice in Kendall's head was screaming at him to turn the car around and knock on James' damn door. He wanted James to say it was over to his face so he could see the truth of it in James' eyes.

How could it be real until James had spoken the words out loud?

But what about his ex? Wasn't his presence proof enough that it was over?

_Don't be such a coward, go back there and make him tell you to your face. You'll never rest easy until you hear him say the words._

Mind made up, Kendall did a U-turn in the middle of the road.

He never listened to the damn voice in his head, but this time it seemed like the right thing to do. If it was really over between the two of them, then so be it, but Kendall needed to hear the words from James' mouth before he could really believe them.

Nothing less would do.

Within minutes he had parked his car outside James' house again and was striding down the path.

* * *

"So what you're saying is you'd settle for me rather than have to be on your own, is that it?"

Beau averted his gaze. When he finally turned his head to look at James, he was frowning.

"What do you want me to say, James? What the hell do you want? Fireworks?"

Beau's words stung.

What was wrong with wanting something special? Wasn't that what everyone wanted from their relationship?

James straightened his shoulders and scowled at his ex.

"Yes, damn it, I want fireworks. I wouldn't settle for someone and I'd expect the same in return. I want someone who loves me with every fiber of their being, not someone who's merely settling."

Beau snorted. "You've been watching too many movies. It isn't like that in real life. Not for guys like us. I know your father was your last living relative. Wouldn't you rather be with me than be on your own?"

"Who said it's either or? Don't be so arrogant as to presume I'd be on my own, Beau."

Beau's smarmy grin got wider. "You might find someone, but let's be honest here. He wouldn't be me, would he?"

_Thank God for that._

The doorbell sounded before James had the chance to reply, which was a good thing for Beau because the insult had been on the tip of James' tongue.

"Are you expecting someone?"

"No, but whoever it is, their timing couldn't be more perfect. Look, you've said what you came here to say and I've heard more than enough. There is no way in hell I'm going to get back with you. Not now, not ever. I'd like for you to leave."

"What?"

"You heard me. I want you to go."

James walked out into the hall hoping that Beau would be behind him. When he looked over his shoulder and Beau was nowhere in sight, he rolled his eyes and opened the front door.

His breath left him in a whoosh when he locked eyes with Kendall who was standing on his doorstep, looking like a dog that had just been scolded.

James couldn't speak. His mouth was devoid of all moisture and every muscle in his body felt tense. He could do nothing but stare at the face of the man that had touched his heart like no other ever could.

He knew that as surely as he knew his own name.

When he finally found his voice, he asked, "What are you doing here?"

The words were not what he meant to say at all, but they were already out of his mouth.

"I...I'd really like it if we could talk. I know I don't have any right to make requests, but...can I come in?"

James nodded and stepped aside before remembering that Beau was still in the living room and he hesitated.

"Uh, can you give me a minute?" He looked over his shoulder and sighed.

"If you have company, I can come back or-"

"No." James said quickly. Now that Kendall was standing in front of him, he never wanted to let him out of his sight again. "This will only take a minute."

Kendall stared into James' eyes for a long moment. James wasn't sure what he saw there, but it must have been enough to reassure him because he nodded, the corners of his mouth curving up ever so slightly. "Okay."

He left Kendall standing by the door and went back into the living room to face Beau. When James entered, Beau was standing near the window, his hands clasped behind his back. He turned to meet James' gaze and scowled.

"I asked you to leave, Beau, and I wasn't joking."

"What's the rush, huh? You don't want your new boyfriend to hear something he shouldn't?" Beau spat out the words and crossed the room quickly until he was in front of James. "Is that was this is about? Are you fucking someone else?"

James felt his anger start to rise.

"What the hell has it got to do with you? _You _left _me_, if I remember correctly, for a woman you'd been seeing when we were together. Or did you conveniently forget that part? _Again_? And from what I just learned, she wasn't even the only one, so why the hell should I feel guilty for seeing someone after we split up?"

Beau let out a deep sigh and avoided his eyes. "I said I was sorry."

"Actually, you didn't."

Beau opened his mouth, but no words came out. It didn't matter. James had heard enough. More than enough.

"Beau, look, it doesn't matter anymore. It's over between us."

"I just want you to give me another chance, that's it."

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that. You've had plenty of chances. You obviously didn't want a relationship with me, or you wouldn't have left in the first place. You wanted to play the field, so it's not my problem if you found out too late that that isn't what you wanted after all. It's too late for us to try again, I've moved on and you need to do the same."

Beau's eyes grew dark with anger.

"Is this because of him?" He asked, his gaze shifting to the doorway.

"No. This has nothing to do with Kendall."

"Don't fucking lie to me!" Beau grabbed hold of James' arms and squeezed hard enough to leave a bruise.

"Get the fuck off me!"

"If you don't get your hands off him in the next five seconds, I swear to God it will be the last thing you ever do." Kendall said, striding into the room until he stood next to them, his beautiful green eyes dark with fury.

Beau looked from Kendall to James and back again before letting you do James' arms.

"You'll regret this." He spat.

"Just get out of here, Beau."

With a final glare, Beau marched out of the room. A moment later, James heard the front door slam and he turned to meet Kendall's gaze.

"I didn't need your help." James muttered, rubbing his hands up and down his arms to soothe the sting left behind. "I had it covered. I could have handled him on my own. I'm not some weak, defenseless guy you need to protect, you know. If that's how you really see me, you can-"

"It's not! I don't see you that way at all. I was just trying to help."

James had spent a lot of time thinking about what it would be like to see Kendall again and what he would say to him. In none of his imaginings had they ended up fighting. He suddenly felt like shit. Kendall had driven a long way to see him and James was acting like an ass. He took a deep breath and hoped his apology would be enough.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I know you didn't mean anything by it. What are you doing here, anyway?"

Kendall looked surprised by the question. He glanced around the room as though the answer was hiding on the bookshelves or in one of the paintings on the wall. He rubbed the back of his neck while he chewed on his bottom lip.

"I, uh...Shit, this is harder than I thought it would be. And I had this big speech planned and-"

"You had a speech planned?"

Kendall nodded. "Yeah. I spent the entire drive up here going over it in my head until I got it just right, only now I can't remember a damn word of it." He laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck again.

"Do you remember the gist of it?"

Kendall nodded. "There was begging. Lots of begging. And groveling. As I recall, I was supposed to get down on my knees at one point. I...I was supposed to tell you that I love you and that I'll always love you and that I know I was an idiot and I know I was scared, but I'm not afraid anymore. I meant to tell you that if you'll just give me another chance, you'll see that we are made for each other and I'll do my damnedest to prove that to you every single day and that I'd be proud and honored to spend the rest of my life with you at my side, be that in private or in public. I also wanted to tell you that I've missed you. Every second you've been gone has felt like an hour and every hour has felt like a week. I can't sleep if you're not lying next to me, and in the mornings I don't want to get out of bed. Oh, and I wanted to tell you that I'm not me without you." Kendall finally sucked in a deep breath. "I think that was about the gist of it."

James took a step closer to Kendall and placed a hand on the back of Kendall's neck, fingers curling around strands of hair. A lump had been forming in his throat throughout Kendall's rambling speech, and he couldn't seem to swallow it down to reply. When he finally managed it, his voice was hoarse, like he'd just smoked a packet full of cigarettes.

"As speeches go, it was a pretty good one. But I think getting down on your knees to beg might have been overkill."

"Oh, I wasn't going to get down on my knees to beg. I was going to get down on my knee to do this."

James looked on in confusion as Kendall pulled a small black box out of his jeans pocket and, just like he'd said he was going to do, he got down on his knee. He opened the box to reveal a thick silver band.

"Will you marry me, James?"

The lump that had taken up residence in James' throat got even bigger and, before he could stop them, big, fat tears spilled out of the corner of his eyes. When he opened his mouth to speak, all that came out was a strangled sob and then he fell to his knees, grabbed hold of Kendall's face and kissed him hard.

* * *

Kendall didn't know what happened.

One minute he had been looking up into James' tear-filled eyes, praying the love of his life still loved him back, and the next he was lying on the ground, flat on his back with James sprawled on top of him. James kissed him passionately and roughly ground their hips together.

Kendall went with it.

He dropped the ring box and used both hands to grab hold of James' ass so that he could press them closer still. It didn't matter how deep his tongue pushed into James' mouth or how close their bodies were, Kendall needed more. He wanted closer and deeper and just..._more_.

James gave it to him. He gave him everything, but…

Kendall pulled back to take a breath. "So, this is definitely not a no?" He gasped out.

James grinned and captured his mouth again, pushing his tongue inside while he slid his hand between them and fumbled with the button on Kendall's jeans.

"Not a no. It's definitely a yes." He said into Kendall's mouth. "It's a big, fat, holy hell yes."

Kendall chuckled until James placed a kiss on him that was anything but funny.

It was hot and sweet and quite possibly the best damn kiss he'd ever known. The noises that were coming out of James' mouth were driving him crazy. They were a cross between a moan, a whimper, and a growl and combined, they pushed him closer to the edge.

Kendall thought he could resist. He thought he could hang on, but then James' fingers slid inside his briefs and wrapped around his cock and he was fighting a losing battle.

Kendall came, hard. His head slammed back onto the rug and every muscle in his body grew taut as he spent himself in James' hand. When he stopped shaking and juddering from his release, he looked up into James' eyes and saw pure joy shining back at him.

James' face was flushed.

His nostrils were flared and he looked as though he were fighting for breath.

"Let me suck you."

James shook his head. "Want more. Want you inside me when I come. Let's go upstairs."

Kendall had no clue how they made it to the bedroom, he couldn't remember anything except the taste of James' lips and the feel of his hand on his now overly sensitive cock. But he'd be damned if the little strokes and caresses weren't starting to make him hard again.

They'd had to stop halfway up the stairs when Kendall managed to get James' jeans undone and pulled them halfway down his hips. James hadn't been wearing any underwear and his swollen cock was just too hard to resist.

Without preamble, he slid it into his mouth and swallowed it down to the base. Immediately James' hands fisted in his hair, holding him in place while he thrust gently into Kendall's mouth. The feel of James' cock-the taste, the solid weight of it sliding over his tongue-was enough to bring Kendall back to full hardness. When James started whimpering and thrusting with more zeal, Kendall pulled off, not wanting James to come just yet.

They got moving again and when they reached James' bedroom, they were quick to take off each other's clothes-too hot, too excited for any slow striptease. Naked, their bodies already soaked with sweat, they slid together as hands touched each other seemingly everywhere at once. Kendall couldn't get enough of touching James. He'd been deprived of it for the past month and he was making up for lost time, relearning every dip and curve.

James' eyes were hooded and full of promise.

"God, I need you." He said, desperately gripping Kendall's hips and pulling him closer so that their cocks rubbed together side by side.

James' voice, like the softest velvet, wrapped around Kendall, caressing and teasing him until he couldn't take anymore.

He led James towards his bed while he kissed him long and hard.

"Where's the stuff, babe?"

"Huh?"

"Lube, condoms."

"Oh. Uh, in that drawer." He said, pointing to the nightstand furthest from them.

When it didn't look as though James was going to move, Kendall climbed over the bed and pulled open the drawer. The lube was right where James had said it would be, but he couldn't see any condoms. He rooted around some more.

"Ugh, you have got to be kidding me."

"What is it?"

"Can't find any condoms."

"What?" James was around the bed in two seconds flat and peering into the drawer.

"Do you keep them anywhere else?"

"No." James' shoulders slumped and he fell back onto the bed with one arm covering his face.

Kendall heard a low moan and he chuckled.

"It's not the end of the world, you know. We can do other stuff."

James lowered his arm and he peered out from behind. "When is the last time you got tested?"

As soon as Kendall realized where James was going with this line of questioning, he groaned and sat down on the bed next to James.

His dick definitely liked the idea.

"A couple of months ago. Was negative. But do you think this is a good time to be having this conversation?"

James sat up and stared into Kendall's eyes.

"It's as good a time as any." Suddenly James' face was filled with color. "Mine was right after the first time we had sex." He said quietly. "I hadn't been tested since I first started seeing Beau, and even though we'd always been careful, I figured I should get it done. Was negative."

"So…" Kendall said.

"Yeah, so…"

"You think we should…?"

James shrugged. "We're serious about each other. We're both in this for the long haul. Hell, it was only twenty minutes ago you asked me to marry you and I'm wearing your ring. If we can't trust each other now, when can we?"

"You're...you're wearing my ring?" Kendall grabbed hold of James' hand, and sure enough, the engraved silver band sat snugly on James' finger. "How?"

James' face got even redder. "You were busy. I grabbed it. Wanted to be wearing it when you fucked me."

Kendall smiled so wide his face ached. "I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."

He leaned forward and stole and mind-numbing kiss.

"So does that mean we're…?"

"Yeah, it does." Kendall replied. And then he kissed James until he could barely breathe, let alone talk.

It only took a few seconds of his body sliding against James' before his cock was back to full mast and aching to be buried inside James.

He shivered.

The thought turned him on so damn much. While they kissed and stroked and teased, Kendall grabbed the lube and used it to prepare James and himself. In no time James was writhing on the bed and bearing down on his fingers. With shaky hands, he applied more lube to himself.

"I've never done this before." He admitted as he lined up, his cock barely skimming the entrance to James' body. "Bare, I mean."

James was lying on his back, one knee pulled back against his chest, the other resting over Kendall's shoulder. "Then it'll be the first time for both of us. I like that."

"Me too. You ready for me?"

When James nodded, Kendall pushed forward and after the first point of resistance his cock slid in slowly, inch by agonizing inch. Holy hell, it was hot. Better than he'd ever imagined it would feel. Too good, in fact. He nearly came right then and there.

"Christ, James...it's so good."

When he looked down he realized James was having his own problems. His hand was squeezing his dick and his eyes were screwed shut.

"You okay?" He asked.

When James opened his eyes, they were dark, lust-filled and almost wild in their intensity.

"Don't move." He warned. "Christ, don't move, please. I'm not going to last if you do."

Kendall didn't move.

He barely breathed.

The sensation was too damn good and James' reaction was turning him on even more. It was difficult to keep still when all he wanted to do was thrust into James' tight heat, but he just about managed it.

"Tell me when you're good to go."

James was practically vibrating beneath him his breath coming in short, sharp pants.

"Now…" was all Kendall needed to hear before he let go, thrusting inside with vigor.

He soon set up a rhythm, plunging into James as deep as he could go before pulling almost all the way out and thrusting back inside. A part of him wanted to slow down, to savor the feeling and to make it last, but he knew he didn't have that much control.

He grabbed James' cock and began to stroke it in time with the movement of his hips. James went wild beneath him, writhing and bucking up to meet each thrust, his back arched, his head pressed back into the pillow. James had his hands on Kendall's ass, his fingers biting into Kendall's skin, encouraging his movements and pulling him closer still.

James' hair was stuck to his head with sweat and his face flushed. Kendall didn't think he'd ever seen a sight so erotic. He leaned forward and kissed James, pushing his tongue inside while keeping up the strokes of his hands on James' cock, his hips moving as if of their own accord.

Each slap of flesh against flesh was met with a cry or a moan or a whimper. The sweet noises James made joined with Kendall's own grunts of pleasure and sounded loud to his ears. All of his senses seemed heightened, in fact. James' scent surrounded him, bathed him. James' touch left a trail of goosebumps in its wake. James' hands fisted in the sheets and when he looked up and met Kendall's gaze, his eyes filled with something like desperation-Kendall lost it.

"Jesus, James!"

Another couple of thrusts was all it took.

He stroked James' cock harder and as he came in his ass, buried deep, he felt James' release splash over his hand and coat his stomach.

"Kendall!"

James' ass felt like a vice around his cock, pulling him deeper and milking out his release. He didn't want the sensation to ever end, but at the same time it was too much, too intense.

When they both finally stopped shaking, Kendall fell forward, his hands braced either side of James' head.

"I love you." He whispered.

The raw emotion he saw in James' eyes tugged at his heart.

"I know. And you know I love you, too. Sometimes I can't believe how much, or how I got this lucky."

They dozed for a few hours and when Kendall woke up, James' head was resting on the pillow, facing him. His hand was tucked under his chin and he was making the cutest snuffly noises Kendall had ever heard. He never wanted to get up. He wanted to freeze time, to be stuck in this moment forever.

_I'm the lucky one, Jay. And I'll never forget it. I promise I'll make you happy. I promise I'll make you proud of me._

* * *

**Done! So there you have it. Kames are back together!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! Unfortunately, the next chapter will be the final chapter. That probably won't be up until sometime next week.**

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello again everyone! The long-overdue final chapter of Chances is here!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter and this story in general I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing and for all your support! :)**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

As soon as James opened his eyes and saw Kendall watching him, his mouth curved up into a shy smile.

"Hey."

"Hey, yourself. You sleep okay?"

James nodded and yawned, stretching out his arms and legs. He laughed. The sound was carefree and like music to Kendall's ears.

"Like a log. You?"

"Best sleep I've had in weeks, actually, even though it was brief." He leaned forward and kissed James, lingering for a moment, tracing the seam of James' lips with his tongue. He slipped his hand around James' waist and pulled him close until James' head was resting on his chest.

"I missed you," He said into James' hair. "And I can't believe I was so stupid. I nearly lost you."

James shook his head. "It wasn't all your fault. I've been doing a lot of thinking since I got back here and I have an apology to make to you, too."

"What for?" Kendall couldn't think of anything James would have to be sorry for.

James sighed. "I knew this was all new for you. I _knew _how hard it was. You've hidden that part of yourself your entire life. I should have been more patient, I should have-"

"No," Kendall started to argue, but James cut him off.

"It's true, Kendall. I was hurt, but when I calmed down I came to realize that the way you acted was just a gut reaction because you'd been so used to hiding. It wasn't a personal slight against me and I shouldn't have taken it that way. For weeks now I've been planning on going back to Providence and asking for your forgiveness," He said, shaking his head. "Honestly, if you hadn't shown up today, I doubt I would have lasted another week before I cracked. I missed you too much."

Kendall didn't know what to say. He couldn't believe James felt that way. It made him love the man lying in his arms even more, if that were possible.

"I guess we're going to have to decide what we're going to do about living arrangements."

"Huh?"

"Well, your home is here. It wouldn't be fair of me to ask you to come back to Providence. I guess I could get Camille to run the diner full-time and I could move here. I'm sure I could find a job here."

James pulled back and met Kendall's gaze. "You'd do that for me?"

"I'd do anything for you," Kendall said with conviction.

James kissed him hard then and didn't pull away until they were both breathless.

"I love you for that," He said once he caught his breath, "but there's no need. Providence is my home, not Des Moines. I've already got a buyer for this house and I just found out earlier that my application was successful for a position just twenty miles outside of Providence. I start work there week after next. So I have just enough time to pack up here and arrange to get my things shipped home."

Kendall couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Really?" He asked, his voice sounding small and more insecure than he would have liked. "You're coming home?"

James' smile was bright and absolutely infectious. It did funny things to Kendall's stomach.

"Of course. How else do you think this marriage is going to work?"

"James…" Kendall said softly, almost afraid to believe what he was hearing.

"Like I said, I wouldn't have laster another week without you. Even if we hadn't gotten back together...I would rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you in it at all. I-"

Whatever James was about to say was cut off as Kendall crushed their lips together.

"I love you," Kendall said, and the bright smile that he received in return spoke volumes.

"I love you, too. Always have, always will."

* * *

_**Six Months Later**_

Kendall stuck his head through the door to the kitchen and peered around for his chef.

Carlos stood at the stove stirring something in a large cast-iron pot. He looked over his shoulder at Kendall and raised an eyebrow.

"Something I can do for you, boss?"

Kendall grinned. "Yep, you can make me another batch of peach and pecan pie."

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Aren't people sick of that yet? You know, I've half a mind to take it off the menu. I've got this strawberry and key lime pie I was thinking about swapping it for."

Kendall pretended to look horrified. "Don't you dare! You know very well the peach and pecan is our best seller!" He gave a jerk of his head towards the diner. "The terrible twosome would never let me hear the end of it if you did that. Speaking of which, they just came in. Could you cut me a slice to take to them?"

"Rather you than me." Carlos grinned. "Coming right up."

Kendall nodded his thanks and turned to walk back into the diner. He paused at the last minute.

"Oh, and the strawberry and key lime pie? I'm all over that."

Carlos grinned. "I thought you might say that."

Betty and May were waiting for Kendall in a booth seat near the back. He strolled across the room, in no rush to get to his ear-bashing, and took a seat opposite them.

"Carlos is getting that for you." He said to May. "It won't take long. Now, what can I do for you ladies today?"

Kendall held his breath and waited for the words _'We're here to make a complaint'_. They never came.

"Oh, nothing," May said. "We just thought we'd pop in and say hello. Share a slice of your delicious pie."

Kendall cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows scrunched together. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was tempted to look around the diner for the hidden cameras.

What? No neighborhood watch meeting he'd missed? No dog mess on the sidewalk outside the diner Betty wanted him to personally clean, even though he didn't own a dog? No earthquake in China he could have prevented?

May must have noticed the confusion on his face because she shook her head and chuckled.

"My, my. Are we really that bad?" She asked.

_You're not. Your sister on the other hand…_

"Do we only ever come in if we have something to complain about?"

"Of course not," Kendall replied.

Betty scowled and looked to the kitchen. "That pie is taking a long time, isn't it? What is the chef doing back there, slacking?"

Kendall couldn't hide his grin. There was the Betty he knew and despaired of. Right on cue, Carlos stuck his head through the hatch.

"Pie's up, boss!"

Kendall retrieved the slice of pie and left the sisters to eat it in peace.

He was strolling from table to table, filling the salt shakers, when Hope came in dragging an exhausted-looking Katie. Their mom was close behind them.

"Hey," Kendall greeted, giving his mom a kiss on the cheek before scooping Hope into his arms and planting a kiss on her cheek as well for good measure. She giggled and wiped her face. "Hey, sis, what's up?"

Katie rolled her eyes. "Don't get me started. Do you know anyone that wants to buy a five-year-old girl?"

"Katie!" Kendall said dramatically. "Don't listen to a word she says, sweet pea," He said, tickling Hope and making her squeal. "How was the mall?"

"Too damn busy." Katie groaned.

"Watch your language in front of Hope," Their mom chastised.

Kate lowered her gaze, looking suitably scolded.

"You haven't been doing too much, have you?" Kendall asked his mom. "I hope you were taking regular breaks and sitting down lots."

Jennifer rolled her eyes. "Yes, dear. I rested plenty, didn't I, Katie?"

"I worry about you, that's all. I don't want to see you in the hospital again."

Kendall couldn't have been happier when his mother had finally admitted defeat and retired from her job at the hospital over four months ago. She never did go back after her heart attack, for which Kendall was thankful. It seemed seeing the place from the perspective of a patient had opened her eyes and made her make a few changes in her life.

"Trust me, that's the last thing I want to do." She said.

"I was watching her, Ken," Katie said. "You don't have to worry."

"Where is Uncle James?" Hope asked.

Jennifer checked her watch. "Yes, isn't he here yet? We were hoping to catch him before we have to leave."

"He should be here any minute," Kendall said. "He was stopping by the store on his way home from work to get a bottle of wine. We have guests coming over for dinner."

"Mr. Keller and Alex again?" Katie asked.

Kendall chuckled. "Yes and don't let him hear you call him that. He hates it outside of school."

He and James had been spending quite a bit of time with Dean and Alex and found that they liked their company, a lot. They'd run into each other again the last time they went to the Italian restaurant and had ended up sitting together. They'd had a great night and had made plans to go out again the following weekend.

It had become a regular occurrence-one he looked forward to.

Dean was teaching in the high school again. Kendall had learned that his dismissal had had nothing to do with the fact that he was gay-that had just been gossip. He'd been let go along with several other teachers because of funding, but when the board had got a sudden influx of cash recently, they'd rehired him.

The bell over the door sounded and, when he turned, Kendall's breath caught in his chest and butterflies danced in his stomach, just as they did every time he set his eyes on James. He couldn't get enough of looking at him-he'd do it all day long if James would let him.

James' gaze caught his and his face broke out into a beautiful smile.

"Uncle James!" Hope squealed and wriggled in Kendall's arms to be let down.

He obliged and as soon as her feet touched the floor, she ran across the room and dived into James' arms.

Caught off guard, James stumbled but soon righted himself.

"Hey, gorgeous. What have you been doing?"

"We went to the mall and Grams bought me a new dress!" Hope exclaimed. "It's pink!"

"Wow! Aren't you lucky?" James asked as he crossed the room with Hope in his arms. He leaned forward and gave Kendall a peck on the mouth.

Kendall very nearly scowled when it ended and James pulled back. But there'd be plenty of time for that later.

Hope giggled and hid her face.

"Hey, Katie," James greeted. "Mrs. Knight, how have you been doing?"

"Good," She replied. "I still have to take it easy, of course, but I feel like I have a new lease on life since I retired."

Katie leaned in near James' ear and mock-whispered, "She's teaching the ladies at the bridge club a thing or two. I even think one of the guys there has a bit of a crush on her, too."

"Katie!" Jennifer reprimanded.

James chuckled and Kendall joined in when he noticed his mother's cheeks fill with color.

"Where's Dak?" James asked. "I thought he was playing chauffeur today?"

"He is," Katie said. "He had to pick something up from his practice. He'll be back to pick us up later."

"Gotcha," James said, shifting his weight from foot to foot before his face was suddenly bursting with excitement. "Guess what?"

Kendall grinned. "Is this one of those times where I actually have to guess or are you just going to tell us?"

James rolled his eyes. "I spoke to Lucy today and she had some news."

Kendall waited. "And?" He asked when James wasn't giving any other information.

"She's pregnant!"

"What?! Seriously? Wow, I…" Kendall trailed off when he suddenly pictured Lucy as a mother. He had a feeling their lives were about to get very interesting to say the least. "Is she going to be able to make it to the wedding?"

Kendall's marriage to James was all his sister and mother had talked about for months. He and James had agreed they wanted a small ceremony with only their close friends and family, but his sister had taken over the whole thing and they feared it might be getting out of control. Whenever Katie or his mom brought it up, Kendall joked that he and James were just going to elope. They were going up to Iowa for the ceremony, and they couldn't wait.

James waved off Kendall's concerns. "The wedding is in a month. Lucy will only be four months along, though the outfit she bought probably won't fit by then. She didn't sound too happy about that."

Kendall chuckled, already picturing a raging Lucy. "I bet she didn't. Why don't you take a seat? I'll bring the drinks over."

There were murmurs of agreement from everyone and they all made their way over to a booth near the window.

"Oh! James! I'm so glad we caught you. We need to talk to you about the neighborhood watch!" Betty shouted across the room.

Kendall turned his face away to hide his grin.

That was why Betty hadn't said anything to him earlier about the watch meeting, and probably the real reason they'd come in-they'd hoped to see James. It seemed he was the flavor of the week with them now.

He got a lot of pleasure from teasing James about that.

James met his gaze and let out a weary sigh before pasting on a mega-watt smile ad making his way over to talk to the sisters. He passed by Kendall on his way over there and leaned in close.

"Don't think I didn't see that grin of yours," He whispered, sliding his hand around Kendall's waist, nice and easy. "You're going to pay for that. Just wait until I get you alone tonight."

Kendall turned his head and stole a quick kiss. "I can hardly wait."

* * *

**Done! A shorter chapter, but Kames is finally together and happy! :D**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter and story in general, as well as if you happened to have any favorite parts/moments!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! This story was a little shorter, but I'm glad that I was able to share it with you all! I'm so thankful for you all and for all your support. I'm looking forward to sharing more with you all soon! ;)**

**-Epically Obsessed**


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